[rubicon]

Clearly one creates a moral dilemma for their spouse and/or family by asking them to pull the plug that would leave them guilt ridden no matter what decision they make.

Beside it clearly is a better choice to leave such request in the hands of experts who know the how's and when's of this request and even then they can error.

There is nothing dignified about death but there is about how effectively we deal with it at the time

We had a guy in our town who would drive around all night long because he was afraid he would die in his sleep....and indeed that is exactly how he died. He was one of the lucky ones.

My best friend,age 31 at the time who was as close to me as my brother committed suicide with a bullet to the head. He was in such emotional pain. I mourn for him to this day I keep repeating he had other choices....but what do you do when you don't have other choices?

[Sandtrap328]

I am out of The Villages for a few days right now. I will be attending a "celebration of life" for a friend I have known around 40 years.

He was diagnosed with prostate cancer ( and did not tell anyone) a few months ago. He decided that treatment would be something he could not do. He jumped off a tall parking garage to his death a few weeks ago.

This weekend will help me with closure, I hope, as other friends and co-workers remember David in a celebration of life.

[dbussone]

Originally Posted by Sandtrap328

I am out of The Villages for a few days right now. I will be attending a "celebration of life" for a friend I have known around 40 years.



He was diagnosed with prostate cancer ( and did not tell anyone) a few months ago. He decided that treatment would be something he could not do. He jumped off a tall parking garage to his death a few weeks ago.



This weekend will help me with closure, I hope, as other friends and co-workers remember David in a celebration of life.

Bless you and him. I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm a David who was diagnosed with prostate cancer 18 months ago. I've been fortunate, had great treatment here in TV, and am a survivor. I wish your friend was as fortunate.

Blessings and prayers.

[CFrance]

Originally Posted by dbussone

Bless you and him. I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm a David who was diagnosed with prostate cancer 18 months ago. I've been fortunate, had great treatment here in TV, and am a survivor. I wish your friend was as fortunate.

Blessings and prayers.

I am sorry for sand trap and his friend but happy for you, dbussone. We don't know the other David's full circumstances, but I would hope one would at least give treatment a fair chance.

[gomoho]

Bizoc - I like what you said. It really is no one else's business.

[zonerboy]

Thanks to those who replied. I know my Mom would not contemplate suicide. I feel very bad for her. She seems to have no joy in her life, but at the same time refuses our suggestions on how she might improve her situation.
I pray I do not end up in similar circumstances.
I agree that decisions about such matters are very personal, but input from outside sources cannot hurt.

[Walter123]

My Mother passed away very recently under hospice care at the Cornerstone
Hospice House. The beautiful way they treated her was beyond words. I don't know if there is any dignity in death but I know she looked peaceful and was not in pain. She was 93. RIP Mom.

[carol_piirto]

I think this is an incredible valuable discussion. We all wish for a graceful death at home but once you avail yourself of medical treatment, (some of it excellent, ) then you are part of the medical system. It takes strength, lucidity and planning to extricate yourself from it and create this comfortable death at home with Hospice care that we all want.

Signed, a 60 year old Villager who has had cancer twice

[Nipper]

This is truly Death with Dignity --- a choice we should all have.

Why Newlywed Brittany Maynard Is Ending Her Life in Three Weeks - NBC News

Her final moment has been mapped. And it does not sound scary.

"I plan to be surrounded by my immediate family, which is my husband, and my mother and my stepfather and my best friend, who is also a physician," she says in the video.

“I will die upstairs in my bedroom that I share with my husband, with my mother and my husband by my side, and pass peacefully with some music I like in the background."

[rubicon]

When we were young approaching adulthood we had dreams and goals. when we married we had dreams and goals for our children and ourselves. a look back and some of us managed those dreams while others became entangled in that unknown called "destiny""misfortune"or sheer bad"luck"

But it is human to plan and to attempt to manage our lives and even those of us who had many of those entanglements continue to plan

We speak of large corporations as "too big to fail"and thus place them in a special category of regulation etc yet nature has created the ultimate "systematic risk" aimed at human beings

[Taltarzac725]

Euthanasia and Assisted Suicide - Pros And Cons - Argue, Opponents, Care, and Proponents - JRank Articles

This looks like a very tough issue. One thing, many checks and balances would be needed in case of government overreaching of authority, abuse, corruption, and just plain evil actions.

I also see it as a very personal choice but the government has to be brought in for many legal reasons.

I had the brother --Jim G., -- of my sister-in-law Laura G., kill himself in Virginia about twelve days ago. He was mentally ill and I guess he came to a place where he had no hope. My brother and sister-in-law did have to go identify the body, manage whatever belongings he had, and then hire a lawyer to deal with the leftovers of a life. They were all estranged so there are a lot of legal problems following his suicide. There's always a wake within the family pool of actions like Jim's suicide even if the person tries to lessen it. Laura G., will probably be always wondering if there had been anything she could have done to prevent this from happening.

I only met Jim G., at my brother and sister-in-law's wedding about 22 years ago. He spent many years in India as a transcendental meditation trainer/coach. Moved back to VA about five years ago and started to unravel with respect to mental stability over the past few years. I have never been to Virginia, so I never had a second chance to get to know Jim G.

[Bonnevie]

Originally Posted by zonerboy

I am presently in Phoenix visiting my 93 year old Mom. She lives in a very expensive tiered assisted living facility in her own 1 bedroom apartment (no kitchen, she goes to the central dining room for very nice meals). Her husband (my dad) died 6 years ago and almost all her friends have also passed on. She has no will to live and wishes she could just "go to heaven". She does not participate in any activities available for residents at her facility such as exercise classes, games, crafts, movies, visiting musicians who lead sing-a-longs, field trips, etc. says it's too much trouble. So she sits in her chair all day with the TV on. Not certain if she watches it or not. Her severe diabetic neuropathy has caused her to have complete loss of control of her bladder, and only partial bowel control, so it is difficult to take her out any where. (I have a sister and two brothers living in Phoenix who try to help her)
She had heart surgery (double valve replacement, coronary bypass, plus pacemaker) at age 86, and now wishes she hadn't had it because she says she'd be dead and on heaven by now.
So what's the solution for situations such as this?? Seems to be getting more common as we age.
BTW, she is on anti-depressants. Discussion would be appreciated.

You could be describing my mother's last years. She also said she was ready to die. unfortunately, medicine has become too adept at keeping people living...no matter the quality of that living. My mother got fluid build up and was admitted to the hospital to have it drained. She was expected to make it through but her COPD caused her breathing to deteriorate and so she died in semi-private hospital room by drowning in her own secretions. Luckily, I was with her. I will say she fought to live (I think it's instinctual). I don't know if she were offered a way to go peacefully she would have taken it. If she knew how painful and indignant her end was to be, she might have.
Forget about Obamacare, what's bankrupting the country is how much money is spent on seniors with incurable conditions at the end of life. I believe patients should have a right to choose either aggressive treatment or just a palliative approach. Doctor's need to be more forthright about how much benefit a treatment provides versus quality of life and be safe from prosecution if they "don't do everything".

[sunnyatlast]

Here is an excellent paper on various physical and spiritual considerations with various types of euthanasia, by an experienced and empathetic pastor-theologian.

Even if one is not Christian or is agnostic, there are thought-provoking points explained and illustrated in it from the standpoint that knowledge is power.

Euthanasia and the word of God - Denison Forum on Truth and Culture

[Villages PL]

Originally Posted by zonerboy

Thanks to those who replied. I know my Mom would not contemplate suicide. I feel very bad for her. She seems to have no joy in her life, but at the same time refuses our suggestions on how she might improve her situation.
I pray I do not end up in similar circumstances.
I agree that decisions about such matters are very personal, but input from outside sources cannot hurt.

Depression is not uncommon as people reach an advanced age. Isn't there a social worker who could look into her situation and possibly offer some suggestions?

[OBXNana]

Originally Posted by Villages PL

Depression is not uncommon as people reach an advanced age. Isn't there a social worker who could look into her situation and possibly offer some suggestions?

Great idea. A geriatric specialist may have some ideas that don't involve a medication. They have the knack of talking to a person that your Mom may not feel comfortable discussing with her children. She's still your Mom and she will always want to protect and not be a burden.

As my mother told me before she became ill, whatever I would do would be the right thing because it would be done with her in mind and always with love.