Fun with Puns

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Old 12-30-2010, 12:53 PM
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teach232 teach232 is offline
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Default Fun with Puns

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed


With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.


Acupuncture is a jab well done.
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Old 12-30-2010, 02:40 PM
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'Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home.'
'That's the Tom Jones syndrome.'
'Is it common?'
'It's not unusual.'
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Old 12-30-2010, 02:42 PM
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teach:

Great fun! Thanks!



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Old 12-30-2010, 05:58 PM
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Three hundred Egyptian engineers celebrated their designing a new bridge by marching across it en masse. Lo, the bridge collapsed. The engineers were in denile.
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Old 12-30-2010, 09:43 PM
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I got an expensive car for Christmas. Yesterday I drove it into a tree and discovered how a Mercedes bends.
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