[tony]

No names here please, but I have a question.

After you read here for a few days, maybe week, have you drawn conclusions about those people with whom you would definitely want to associate, and those with whom you definitely would not want to associate?

Next, after several more weeks, have you changed your mind either way on either group?

For those who have met others after meeting online, have you found your perception valid?

Again, no names.

I am trying to learn how well personalities come through with only the written word.

[JohnN]

I'm like English, I enjoy all contributors.
There are a few I enjoy more than others, and quite a few personalities LOL,

it's a lot of fun and quite interesting

[redwitch]

I'm lucky that I've had many years experience with online groups (bridge and parenting) and have met many of them in person. It is very rare for someone to be other than who they appear to be online. It really does seem to be a what you see is what you get.

The major difference of this group from the others I have belonged is the political nature. In my bridge group I'm moderator and religion and politics are very off limits. The other is a parenting group and they also have banned political discussions because of the battles. So, we have a better idea where people stand politically and this sometimes can flavor an opinion. (I'm glad I'm liberal enough to not care how people feel on politics ... heck, I even married a diehard Republican!)

I really liked meeting some of the TOTVers at the picture-taking celebration and, obviously, have become true friends with one of that group. I've also been fortunate to meet a couple of others and they've been exactly what I expected.

So far, only one seems to be slightly different from the online persona. Oddly, that person is much nicer in person than I find that person to be here.

So, of the many I have not met, I will admit that are a couple I really would not want to meet but the majority not only would I love to meet but would be proud to have them in my home and call a friend. (How's that for a long, run on sentence?)

[JohnZ]

I've met a few folks in person. With no exception, my perception of the online personas of these folks matched the individuals when met in person. It's amazing to me, how personalities come through in text but sometimes you've got to read a lot in between the lines. I'm curious to know what folks might think of me now that I'm thinking about it.

[Peggy D]

Tony,

It's interesting you post this question. I had recently heard (can't remember where--having a senior moment) that many e-mails are misinterpreted because the words are not spoken face-to-face, and that emotions can be misconstrued.

I know that some of my posts have been as such. It may have seemed that I was ranting, when actually my thoughts were out of concern, or I was making a "funny" and someone took me serious.

I take this into consideration when I read a post. The people I have encountered on TOTV are truly the best. I could not stand in judgement of any of them.

Thank you for TOTV

[l2ridehd]

The written word and the face to face meeting are actually what "you" perceive them to be. Once you form an opinion of someone based on what they have written, you will make that perception fit when you meet them. Thus the majority believe that people are what they expected them to be.

However it really depends on how well people express themselves. Some do it really well verbally and others by writing. VERY few do both well. Some don't do either well. So those that judge someone based on what they write, should reserve a little time when you meet to get to know them before you conclude that your first (perception of the written word only) was correct. I find that my best approach is to give everyone the benefit of the doubt until they prove to me they really are someone I don't want to associate with.

It all goes back to how we learn. Some of us learn well verbally and others visually and again, not many of us can learn both ways well. So my best advise to all is to reserve judgement until you get to know someone both ways and not let your perceptions from the past rule your future. Just a lesson learned from the past.

[nONIE]

Personally, I do not like to pass judgement on ANYBODY until I have known them for awhile. And even then, we do not know this persons past history or life and things do happen in our lifetimes to make us who we are. Basically I think all people are inherently good, and until we really get to know them I dont feel anyone should be judged. Who are we to judge others. So...... no matter how a person might seem to me thru the

written word, I would always try to get to know them better and then decide if I really want them in my life.

[Susi1356]

In my experience, the % match between virtual and actual personality sometimes depends on the original motive for online communication. I have found a high correlation in professional correspondence and communities of interest like TOTV, but my experiences with online dating (albeit ultimately successful, thank goodness) were very different!

[Hyacinth Bucket]

PeggyD with you.

Hyacinth Bucket

[Mel1]

Bottom line, there are alot of actors out there, so beware.

Yes, I am an administrator for a professional site and a moderator for another site. I spend most of my time vetting and rejecting sign ups for new posters (a 99% rejection rate) mostly from foreign shores or with oddball E-mail addy's

trust no one that you have not met in person and you may not get burned. The internet is a playground for the bored as well as an immense souce of free information if you know how to read between the lines.