[CaptJohn]

Originally Posted by manaboutown

My high school class (1960) of over 700 enjoyed its own website for many years which was well maintained by a man who had the time and interest. He posted deaths among other events.

Whenever I read about a death of someone I had known fairly well, female or male, it tended to cause me some pain.

The same goes for me. All deaths affect me and I like to remember each for their effect on my life which has contributed to my being at this stage of it. I host a website for my HS class (1966) and out of 750, have recorded 37 deaths that I know of. I post the yearbook picture of them for rememberance. Former girlfriends should not be left out.

[RayinPenn]

It's titled Forgiveness. How to make peace with your past and get on with your life. I was hanging on to alot of pointless resentment and anger. Although I had moved on I hadn't actually gotten over it.

I wish I had read this book 30 years ago.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by RayinPenn

It's titled Forgiveness. How to make peace with your past and get on with your life. I was hanging on to alot of pointless resentment and anger. Although I had moved on I hadn't actually gotten over it.

I wish I had read this book 30 years ago.

It wouldn't have made sense thirty years ago. I find that this age has a wonderful sense of wisdom built in.

And the advantage of decades of experience.

It is a wonderful tribute to anyone that we grieve their passing. That means that they mattered and caused us to care for them.

I hope your grief passes because anyone who loved us wouldn't want us to be sad.

[quirky3]

Originally Posted by RayinPenn

It's titled Forgiveness. How to make peace with your past and get on with your life. I was hanging on to alot of pointless resentment and anger. Although I had moved on I hadn't actually gotten over it.

I wish I had read this book 30 years ago.

RayinPenn, good for you for working this through, and I'm so glad you found that book. Forgiveness is so underrated. It is a precious gift to both parties. We all do our best, and I hope, while moving forward in life, you find just the right people to laugh and play with.

[RayinPenn]

The silver lining of this otherwise dark cloud..
1) I have been appreciating all that I have more...especially the Mrs.
2) I have learned to not be as critical of myself.
3) I recognize now that I let that single event hang in the back of my mind and bother me for far too long


Finally There are far more people that have had a similar experience then you would believe.

[jblum315]

I would love to think that my college boyfriend would feel a little twinge upon hearing of my demise. I certainly remember him -- he can't possibly have forgotten me!

[RayinPenn]

Originally Posted by jblum315

I would love to think that my college boyfriend would feel a little twinge upon hearing of my demise. I certainly remember him -- he can't possibly have forgotten me!

And may there be many many years before he can read it.

[HelenLCSW]

Originally Posted by Bogie Shooter

Does your wife read TOTV??

My first thought too!

[RayinPenn]

I'll post this because I have always been too embarrassed to speak or repeat it..the first time I went to see her at college (a 100 mile drive) She had the label from another guys underwear on her bedpost. I would have left but if I did and was caught she would have been tossed out of the dorm..it was a 20 ft drop the window i was close to risking it and breaking my leg. she convinced me it was noting but I was a young guy in love. in other words a dam fool. I or anyone else deserved better. In retrospect I should have jumped. If it quacks like a duck, smells like a duck..well you know. As I sit here 30 years later I think How cruel some people can be..thankfully just not me. May god forgive her. I know too much info but keeping it bottled up was why I had nightmares for so many years...apologies

[graciegirl]

boyhowdy

[RayinPenn]

I'll take that to mean geeze!

[HelenLCSW]

Originally Posted by RayinPenn

I'll post this because I have always been too embarrassed to speak or repeat it..the first time I went to see her at college (a 100 mile drive) She had the label from another guys underwear on her bedpost. I would have left but if I did and was caught she would have been tossed out of the dorm..it was a 20 ft drop the window i was close to risking it and breaking my leg. she convinced me it was noting but I was a young guy in love. in other words a dam fool. I or anyone else deserved better. In retrospect I should have jumped. If it quacks like a duck, smells like a duck..well you know. As I sit here 30 years later I think How cruel some people can be..thankfully just not me. May god forgive her. I know too much info but keeping it bottled up was why I had nightmares for so many years...apologies

A psychotherapist can probably help you resolve this dilemma --something other than a lost love going on here --just saying' IMHO

[jebartle]

Originally Posted by RichieLion

Of course you have a right to grieve. Compassion and love are man's greatest attributes. Besides, you never had "proper closure", as they say, with the split being a bit one sided and probably coupled with the wistful hope that a more amicable "parting" could be accomplished at at later date.

You're to be congratulated for not dwelling on it and getting on with your life and accomplishing the rare treat of finding real love and earning the real love of another.

You've done well and it's no fault but instead a positive character trait that you still have compassion for one who may have showed you precious little.

I could not have said it better!

RayinPenn, totv'rs are a great sounding board, they have gems of wisdom, sounds like you have a wound that has been healed, now get out there and play in this wondeful paradise called TV.