the first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left

life is like a roll of toilet paper. the closer you get to the end the faster it goes.

I'll be alright except for my left side.

Said to a tired person: "You look you've been rode hard and put away wet!"

Have we had, "Think the rain'll hurt the rhubarb?"

in dog years you're dead

You bet your sweet bippy!

(I have no idea what a 'bippy' is but wasn't that from the show with Goldie Hawn?)

Yessery Bob!

ARE YOU SURE you aren't Boomer?

Nope
 

I'm not Boomer. She was actually a bit before my time on here so I'll just say that I'll take that as a compliment, Gracie.


Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

He/she has more hang-ups than the phone company.

Oh, for Pete's sake!

What, were you raised in a barn? (My mother said this to us when we left the front or back door to the house open during the winter).