Talk of The Villages Florida - Rentals, Entertainment & More
Talk of The Villages Florida - Rentals, Entertainment & More
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Solo Agers (single & no kids)--how are you planning for live in your 80's & beyond?
I (along with a sibling) have been caring for my elderly parents (both late 80's) for the past seven years. While both parents are in reasonably good health for their age, neither can live independently, and were it not for us, both would be (at a minimum) in assisted living facility.
Over the past two years both my mother & father have had illnesses / accidents (falls) which resulted in them being hospitalized. My father was in a local hospital for nearly two weeks, and while the treatment / care he received there was adequate, I shudder to think what his experience would have been like had I not been there daily to manage / advocate for his medical care. I'm in my 50's, single with no children, and while my "elderly years" are still decades away, this experience of helping my parents has really got me wondering how I'm going to manage the last 10-15 years of my life. Lots of people mention CCRC's (Continuing Care Retirement Communities), but they won't sit with you at doctor's appointments, help you pay bills, manage your finances, etc.. For those of you who are single with no children: If you are in the last decade or so of life, how are you doing it? Any tips or warnings? For those of you in your 60's & 70's, what are your plans for when you aren't able to live independently & need help? |
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The article below pertains to your question. Click on the link within it & search by zip for local geriatric-care managers.
Who is your emergency contact? Older adults aging alone must be more prepared. - MarketWatch
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The Villages via Cincinnati, Ohio |
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But even if a solo ager were to move into Freedom Pointe (or similar facility) that still only solves half the problem. Sure, the staff there will take care of a person's basic physical needs, but they won't help with paying bills, managing investments, managing health care amongst a variety of doctors, being a health care advocate for the resident, etc.. There are still a ton of problems / issues that need to be managed that fall outside of the services provided by the staff at any independent/assisted living facility or nursing home. Last edited by DaddyD; 02-10-2024 at 03:08 PM. |
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I'm not certain what you are referring to when you wrote that your kids have seen an advisor and planned for the "what if". If by "what if" you mean if one spouse outlives the other and ends up w/ diminishing mental capabilities and needs help, I'd be interested to know what their advisor and they have planned. If by "what if" you are referring to death...that's not a "what if", that is a "when". The end game is certain and the same for all of us. |
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Below is a link to an interesting discussion on a finance/investment related forum related to being a solo ager:
CCRC's are out. Tips for "aging in place"? - Bogleheads.org I'm not expecting any magic answers or solutions, but it would be interesting to hear from people who are actually experiencing this now--or planning for it in the not-too-distant future--how they're doing it and/or what their plans are. I've got some younger cousins who theoretically might help help me out, but that's a HUGE ask, and for me at least, not a great plan. |
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Curious if you know the price range (rough planning for 20 to 30 years in the future
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The current independent living pricing ranges from about $350K to $450K for the initial "condo" purchase (2 bedroom), and about $4,500 per month, which includes meals, utilities, maintenance, transportation, and a life care agreement. To me, this is way better than other independent living options, such as Sumter Senior Living and Watercrest. They charge no entrance fee, but about $6K per month for rent, and no lease or ownership at all. That is totally unacceptable to me.
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An overall advocate is what you're asking for, like you stated. If a family member or friend (either one, that you trust to be competent and honest!) is not interested then, someone would need to be hired to perform that role(s). It's very tricky b/c once a situation reverts to where they now have legal and/or healthcare POA b/c you're incapacitated -- all bet are off. And that includes with family members. My life observations are that most people do not handle power well. They either don't understand the responsibility involved and don't perform the role well, or at all, or they get drunk on their assigned power and do what they want - sometimes including lifting money if they think no one will notice. And nursing facilities? Wow, there is a financial trap if people aren't paying attention. Some of them love to pad the bills in various ways and only a caretaker paying attention and asking questions is going to avoid that. My oldest brother has been a slack caretaker of our Mother and the facility she lived in got away with gouging her out of $45,000+ while sedating the beejezus out of her, like they do the others there. Even family caretakers can be very dialed-out! It is such a tricky situation because oldsters, particularly self-payers, are basically prey to those who'd like a piece of those assets and families don't seem to understand that. I could go on, probably have enough to write an article - a cautionary tale. But, I don't have a specific resource to share at this time to assist you. Look at that link, above, and try some online searching using keywords like: elderly advocate, elderly POA for hire, whatever you can think of...each string will produce somewhat different results. ALSO, give a call to a local estate attorney or two and pose your question - they might know of resources. Also, I can't imagine that AARP doesn't have resources to recommend for that. Last edited by MightyDog; 02-10-2024 at 02:32 PM. |
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Tough topic, but good for you for thinking ahead. I'm hoping to be independent and healthy until the end, otherwise it's fork out the big bucks for at home care I reckon. Renting would also alleviate many extra bills and responsibilities.
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My husband and I have each signed a no resusitation if we are placed on machines. We each have a health surrogate we trust will honor this request. We have nursing home insurance that will take care of us during our last three years. We have asked nieces and nephews if they will assume power of attorney if our children cannot or will not. Our home is paid in full and will help finance health care that is needed but not covered. Plan, plan, and plan! Involve family members throughout. Some will be willing to help while others may not. KNOW THIS AND RESPECT their wishes beforehand. Last edited by margaretmattson; 02-11-2024 at 06:02 AM. |
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I had to care for my mom who had Alzheimers after my dad died unexpectedly. It taught me some important lessons. 1. Get and keep long-term care insurance (I was in my mid-50s).
2. Make a plan to enter a facility at a specific age if I find myself alone. 3. Protect my assets in advance as every state has a look-back period for Medicaid (which is the one that would pay for long-term care once a person qualifies, not Medicare). |
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