History of Conservatives and Liberals. I thought it was funny....It was an E-mail sent to me:
History: Simplified with Actual Material History

> 101 (Crash course)

> For those that don't know about history ... Here is a
> condensed version:
>
> Humans originally existed as members of small bands of
> nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the
> mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and
> live on fish and lobster in the winter.
>
> The two most important events in all of history were the
> invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel
> was invented to get man to the beer.

> These were the foundation of modern civilization and
> together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity
> into two distinct subgroups:
>
> 1. Liberals, and
> 2. Conservatives.
>
> Once beer was discovered, it required grain and
> that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass
> bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our
> early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be
> invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's
> how villages were formed.
>
> Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to
> B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer.

> This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative
> movement.
>
> Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting
> learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the
> nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair
> dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
>
> Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women.
> The rest became known as girlie-men.
> Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the
> domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group
> hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to
> divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

> Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the
> largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant.
> Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
>
> Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but
> most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat
> raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and
> French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting
> evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher
> testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,
> personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in
> Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.
> Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it
> wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
>
> Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud. They eat red
> meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are
> big-game hunters, >
>rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction
> workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers,
> corporate executives, athletes, members of the military,
> airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively.
> Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who
> want to work for a living.
>
> Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the
> producers and decide what to do with the production.
> Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than
> Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in
> Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They
> crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a
> business of trying to get more for nothing.
>
> Here ends today's lesson in world history:
>
> It should be noted that a Liberal will have a momentary
> urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.
>
> A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the
> absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded
> immediately to other true believers and to more liberals
> just to tick them off.

WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE ONLY BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE

A conservative is a liberal that was mugged the night before.

Originally Posted by cabo35

A conservative is a liberal that was mugged the night before.

Did you read the history? I was cleaning out my old e-mails and re-read it. It still gives me the chuckles.

Keedy, did you see a black van by your house today? Was the telephone company working nearby?

Originally Posted by cabo35

Keedy, did you see a black van by your house today? Was the telephone company working nearby?

LOL That reminds me of an episode of the Soprano's. hehe