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For The English Majors

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  #1  
Old 01-10-2011, 10:06 PM
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Default For The English Majors

1. Don't abbrev.

2. Check to see if you any words out.

3. Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct.

4. About sentence fragments.

5. When dangling, don't use participles.

6. Don't use no double negatives.

7. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.

8. Just between You and i, case is important.

9. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.

10. Don't use commas, that aren't necessary.

11. Its important to use apostrophe's right.

12. It's better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive.

13. Never leave a transitive verb just lay there without an object.

14. Only Proper Nouns should be capitalized. also a sentence should.

15. begin with a capital and end with a period

16. Use hyphens in compound-words, not just in any two-word phrase.

17. In letters compositions reports and things like that we use commas

18. to keep a string of items apart.

19. Watch out for irregular verbs which have creeped into our language.

20. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

21. Avoid unnecessary redundancy.

22. A writer mustn't shift your point of view.

23. Don't write a run-on sentence you've got to punctuate it.

24. A preposition isn't a good thing to end a sentence with.

25. Avoid cliches like the plague.
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Old 01-10-2011, 10:14 PM
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That is too funny. I am sharing that one with my email friends. Thanks for posting.
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Old 01-10-2011, 10:17 PM
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Um... there isn't no English majors here. Tony doesn't not allow English majors.
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Old 01-11-2011, 06:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mak44070 View Post
1. Don't abbrev.

2. Check to see if you any words out.

3. Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct.

4. About sentence fragments.

5. When dangling, don't use participles.

6. Don't use no double negatives.

7. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.

8. Just between You and i, case is important.

9. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.

10. Don't use commas, that aren't necessary.

11. Its important to use apostrophe's right.

12. It's better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive.

13. Never leave a transitive verb just lay there without an object.

14. Only Proper Nouns should be capitalized. also a sentence should.

15. begin with a capital and end with a period

16. Use hyphens in compound-words, not just in any two-word phrase.

17. In letters compositions reports and things like that we use commas

18. to keep a string of items apart.

19. Watch out for irregular verbs which have creeped into our language.

20. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

21. Avoid unnecessary redundancy.

22. A writer mustn't shift your point of view.

23. Don't write a run-on sentence you've got to punctuate it.

24. A preposition isn't a good thing to end a sentence with.

25. Avoid cliches like the plague.


That ain't right. Aren't it?
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Old 01-11-2011, 06:57 AM
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I resended this article to my writing groups friends to help make them write more betterior.
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Old 01-11-2011, 08:18 AM
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What is a transitive verb?
What is an irregular verb?



WARNING: English majors can be hazardous to writing.
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Old 01-11-2011, 08:20 AM
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Quote:
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What is an irregular verb?



WARNING: English majors can be hazardous to writing.
A verb that needs Metamucil.
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Old 01-11-2011, 08:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tony View Post
What is a transitive verb?
A verb that dresses...........well...........shall we say, "funny".

Bill
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Old 01-11-2011, 09:23 AM
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Default Why has my photocopying not been more fun?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/0...itle=undefined
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Old 01-11-2011, 10:47 AM
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Is that before or after you put the heavy item on the copier??? Or maybe it's "during".......................WHOA!!

Bill
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Old 01-11-2011, 12:11 PM
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Is that before or after you put the heavy item on the copier??? Or maybe it's "during".......................WHOA!!

Bill
Those would be some interesting or perhaps really gross photocopies.
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Old 01-11-2011, 03:57 PM
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Oh. Was that supposed to be a nice way of saying, "don't screw up the copy machine"?
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Old 01-11-2011, 05:46 PM
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Once again, I think you guys have been into the sauce!

My late wife was an English major (sorry, Tony, that was long before we ever even heard of The Villages) and taught Junior High School kids, mostly.

She would have absoutely loved mak44070's entry. And would have cringed at every item! She taught me to review everything I write ("wrote" ? - where are the grammarians when I need them?) before sending out to anybody, anywhere, anytime!

I try very hard to make what I write work for those who read it. Trouble is, I'm never quite sure who can read, let alone who reads my stuff!

SWR
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