[Rapscallion St Croix]

They are currently driving 15mph in the left lane on Morse Blvd. They both have large dogs in their laps. Once your Dad finally agrees with your Mom that they shouldn't be on that road in a golf cart, they will move to a multi-modal path where they will pick up the pace to a brisk 32mph when your Mom realizes that they haven't yet roped off any chairs at the town square. At that pace, hopefully none of the yard ornaments they purchased at an Estate Sale will fall off. Your Dad's arthritis is responding well to the new meds and he has effortlessly flipped the finger eight times this morning. Their golf game is improving and they have initiated a new procedure wherein they pick up the ball after triple par on the par threes and quadruple par on the par fours....no par fives in free golf. They also try to pick up the pace by not wasting time raking bunkers. They don't make pitch marks as they still hit mostly "worm burners". They don't spend much time looking for lost balls as they can buy a whole bucket full of them at the ranges for a couple of bucks. With an eye towards a more sound financial plan, they have ceased purchasing doggie doo doo bags and are now investing that money in scratch offs. They are also saving money on hearing aids by turning the TV up to full volume. That is why they don't answer your calls. Clearing voice mails is technology way above their pay grades. They are still very PO'd with the sales agent not telling them about all the covenants. That jerk seems to think his telling your parents to make sure they read all the deed restrictions before closing covers his "youknowhat". They are both a little bummed about what these yahoos down here call pizza, but, after all, acclimation is a process. And lastly, you are correct in thinking they always liked your brother better.

[Blessed2BNTV]

OP I loved your post! Understood tongue and cheek description 😊

It is so true what you posted....it’s our slice of heaven before we actually go there.

[asianthree]

Originally Posted by Rapscallion St Croix

They are currently driving 15mph in the left lane on Morse Blvd. They both have large dogs in their laps. Once your Dad finally agrees with your Mom that they shouldn't be on that road in a golf cart, they will move to a multi-modal path where they will pick up the pace to a brisk 32mph when your Mom realizes that they haven't yet roped off any chairs at the town square. At that pace, hopefully none of the yard ornaments they purchased at an Estate Sale will fall off. Your Dad's arthritis is responding well to the new meds and he has effortlessly flipped the finger eight times this morning. Their golf game is improving and they have initiated a new procedure wherein they pick up the ball after triple par on the par threes and quadruple par on the par fours....no par fives in free golf. They also try to pick up the pace by not wasting time raking bunkers. They don't make pitch marks as they still hit mostly "worm burners". They don't spend much time looking for lost balls as they can buy a whole bucket full of them at the ranges for a couple of bucks. With an eye towards a more sound financial plan, they have ceased purchasing doggie doo doo bags and are now investing that money in scratch offs. They are also saving money on hearing aids by turning the TV up to full volume. That is why they don't answer your calls. Clearing voice mails is technology way above their pay grades. They are still very PO'd with the sales agent not telling them about all the covenants. That jerk seems to think his telling your parents to make sure they read all the deed restrictions before closing covers his "youknowhat". They are both a little bummed about what these yahoos down here call pizza, but, after all, acclimation is a process. And lastly, you are correct in thinking they always liked your brother better.

That’s funny

[kas52]

[jnieman]

So funny but so true! I have to be careful not to do this to my own son!! Actually it is 1800+ clubs!! You'll just have to come down for a visit and see for yourself. Think of it this way, maybe someday you'll inherit the house and you can have fun too!

Originally Posted by asianthree

That’s funny

[Judith Ann]

LOVE your sense of humor!!! You will be great down here someday!! Are you counting the days already?

[MikeV]

Originally Posted by NonResident

I would like to lodge a formal complaint against The Villages.



Ever since my parents moved to The Villages, I am unable to get a hold of them. They are never home when I call, and their voice mail is constantly full. On the rare occasion that I do manage to get through, they have to get off the phone quickly either because they are having a party, or are on their way out to one. When they're not partying, they're either out on the town somewhere or cavorting with strangers at one of the ridiculous number of 400+ social clubs that exist there. It never ends. It's either a free concert, a book signing, wine tasting, golfing, car show, or some other sort of excursion.



They only ever have time to talk to our kids, and when we get on the phone it's always, "Hi sweetie, it's been a long day and we have dinner plans, we'll talk to you later."



I don't think this kind of lifestyle of partying and socializing is healthy for my parents. Retirement is supposed to be calm and without fan-fare. Why can't The Villages be more like those other retirement communities that we see on highway billboards, such as Downhill Acres, or Finite Estates?



Signed,

Concerned Child

Good for a laugh.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[CWGUY]

Down here YOURS, MINE and YOURS refers to calendars...... if she didn't write it on mine - I don't have to do it!

Any other households here have the 3 calendar system?

[graciegirl]

I love the posters with a delightful sense of humor, sometimes shown with little jabs and a bit of sarcasm, but underneath you can detect confidence and a kind spirit.

I think a sense of humor is like class, you can't educate yourself to get it or emulate it, you just have to be born with it.

[Travel Addict]

Can’t wait to share this post with friends. Funny and true.

[tomwed]

I enjoy the names Downhill Acres and Finite Estates. I can imagine just what they look like and the "happy" people who live there.
thank-you.

[jpvillager]

Hmmmm. Sounds like us parents trying to get hold of our kids when they started college.

[Marathon Man]

Best post ever!!!!!!

[Bay Kid]

Great! I just talk to my kids on the way to church on Sunday.