[tomwed]

This guy is standing before the judge awaiting his sentence for stealing a jar of peaches. The Judge said "I'm going to give you 1 month for every peach in that jar. Tell me--How many peaches were in that jar". The guy says "Six you Honor"

And his wife yelled out "He stole a can of peas too!"

[Walter123]

Originally Posted by tomwed

This guy is standing before the judge awaiting his sentence for stealing a jar of peaches. The Judge said "I'm going to give you 1 month for every peach in that jar. Tell me--How many peaches were in that jar". The guy says "Six you Honor"

And his wife yelled out "He stole a can of peas too!"

Good one Tom, I like it!

[pivo]

Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years, two days before the group was to johnny's wife puts her foot down and says your not going, Johns friends are upset he's not going but what can you do.
Two days later the three goes go to the camp site and see Johnny sitting their with a tent up, fire wood gathered and dinner cooking on the fire.
Damn man how long have you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go.
Well I've been here since yesterday, Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me put her hands over my eyes and said, Guess who? I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie, she took my hand and pulled me to the bedroom the room had candles and rose pedals all over,on the bed she had handcuffs and rope, she told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did

and then she said do whatever you want
so here I'am

[Mikeod]

Two guys from the east coast are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick.
The driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, "Why'd you do that?
The trooper says, "You're in Texas, son. When I pull you over, you'll have your license ready."
Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."
The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick.
The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"
The cop says, "Just making your wishes come true."
The passenger says, "Huh?"
The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say, 'I wish that guy would've tried that crap with me!

[tomwed]

John Kerry walks into a bar and the bartender says :"Hey, buddy, why the long face?"

[pivo]

My wife packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed,I wish
you a slow, and painful, death you *******, //

Oh I replied, so you want me to stay