I saw that tank! I was outside installing our new security system and he drove right by our house! Now the odd thing is that on the back of that tank was a " I'm Ready For Hillary" bumper sticker! I wonder does that mean he is for Hillary or against? Well I gotta run, every day the neighbor lets his dog out and I have to make sure it doesn't poop in my yard!

[Love2cruise]

You should think twice about not letting that dog poop in your yard, I would start collecting it and on trash day I would put at the very top of my closed bag and when the trash thieves come

[kittygilchrist]

pick through my trash? Oops, I let my bad dog out...sorry about your leg, trash picker, but there is a bad dog sign in the window. Hey did you hear the one about the Senile Love Valentines Party? I heard they were planning to...

[graciegirl]

distracted. Oh yes. I think that this knob stealing is Freudian. I read a book once with good recipes for chowder.

[CarolSells]

Ah, yes, chowder, I was trying to eat my chowder at a restaurant the other evening (the one at Brownwood with the name that rhymes with Witty Hire) when a couple came inside to the hostess podium. They were either looking for a table for dinner or a place to board the dog she was carrying. They turned and walked out which was great because it saved me from lodging a complaint. I'm starting a twelve step group for

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by CarolSells

Ah, yes, chowder, I was trying to eat my chowder at a restaurant the other evening (the one at Brownwood with the name that rhymes with Witty Hire) when a couple came inside to the hostess podium. They were either looking for a table for dinner or a place to board the dog she was carrying. They turned and walked out which was great because it saved me from lodging a complaint. I'm starting a twelve step group for

trying to be patient with moderators who pick up your post and put it down somewhere where it makes no sense, I think some of their knobs are missing. Which reminds me of where did I put my glasses. How do we choose glass frames that make us look young and sexy instead of

[CarolSells]

I'm also having a problem finding frames that don't make me look like one of those "boys don't make passes at girls who were glasses" girls. Who could show up at the Singles Valentine's party looking like that? Actually, I was planning on wearing only

wearing only my heart on my sleeve. I am feeling hopeful for this Valentines Day! I heard from my neighbor Bernie, that I could swap my wife if I dressed her in a light blue shirt. Well I dressed her in a light blue shirt, with matching shoes, and set her on a folding chair in the driveway. I have not had anyone stop by yet but the Mrs does smile at all the passing cars like I told her to. If that doesn't work I can throw in a couple of Bingo Tickets. Yesterday I managed to get over 40 tickets by being first in line. A old man like me can get a surprising number of favors from the ladies with those tickets! Well I gotta run I think I heard someone honk at the Mrs. Hmmmm where are my flip flops

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by hollander

wearing only my heart on my sleeve. I am feeling hopeful for this Valentines Day! I heard from my neighbor Bernie, that I could swap my wife if I dressed her in a light blue shirt. Well I dressed her in a light blue shirt, with matching shoes, and set her on a folding chair in the driveway. I have not had anyone stop by yet but the Mrs does smile at all the passing cars like I told her to. If that doesn't work I can throw in a couple of Bingo Tickets. Yesterday I managed to get over 40 tickets by being first in line. A old man like me can get a surprising number of favors from the ladies with those tickets! Well I gotta run I think I heard someone honk at the Mrs. Hmmmm where are my flip flops

OMG. I can't breathe or type. You are so funny Hollander. Carry on everyone.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by hollander

wearing only my heart on my sleeve. I am feeling hopeful for this Valentines Day! I heard from my neighbor Bernie, that I could swap my wife if I dressed her in a light blue shirt. Well I dressed her in a light blue shirt, with matching shoes, and set her on a folding chair in the driveway. I have not had anyone stop by yet but the Mrs does smile at all the passing cars like I told her to. If that doesn't work I can throw in a couple of Bingo Tickets. Yesterday I managed to get over 40 tickets by being first in line. A old man like me can get a surprising number of favors from the ladies with those tickets! Well I gotta run I think I heard someone honk at the Mrs. Hmmmm where are my flip flops

That blue shirt idea must have worked, I caught Sweetie going out for golf in a blue shirt and I told him if he tried to wear one again people would think he was a bowler, which reminds me......

[Nlnicholson]

Of what my Daddy told me ...Getting strikes is like lining up a great date, you need a smooth approach and terrific follow through. Ohhh, man, are there any crop circles in this cornfield? Lemme outta here!!!

[kittygilchrist]

It was like a maize in that cornfield! I was lost for hours, yelling for help till my voice was husky and my ears were ringing. I'd give anything for a good meal, like kernel Sanders, even a stalk of celery...
and then I heard..

[Nlnicholson]

...about a farmer who crossed a sponge with a potato the other day.
Didn't taste too good, but it sure did soak up a lot of gravy. Now that gravy train...

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by Nlnicholson

...about a farmer who crossed a sponge with a potato the other day.
Didn't taste too good, but it sure did soak up a lot of gravy. Now that gravy train...

the one in Washington or the one for dogs, which reminds me of our cat Mikey. He asked me where kittens came from and how do you tell a fella that was neutered at three months that he will never.........

[jblum315]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

the one in Washington or the one for dogs, which reminds me of our cat Mikey. He asked me where kittens came from and how do you tell a fella that was neutered at three months that he will never.........

Tell him if at first you don't succeed, try, try again