The Thread About NOTHING

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  #6166  
Old 08-17-2018, 07:54 PM
tomwed tomwed is offline
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I would like to be Sargent of Thumbs. Sargent of Arms sounds a little too pushy and a bit dangerous. Suppose someone sticks their thumb up, I have no problem telling them "Hey you, put your opposable thumb down. There's nothing going on here for you to thumb us. After all we're reasonable bipeds with opposable thumbs."
[i got that from the godfather]
  #6167  
Old 08-17-2018, 08:01 PM
fw102807
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Originally Posted by tomwed View Post
I would like to be Sargent of Thumbs. Sargent of Arms sounds a little too pushy and a bit dangerous. Suppose someone sticks their thumb up, I have no problem telling them "Hey you, put your opposable thumb down. There's nothing going on here for you to thumb us. After all we're reasonable bipeds with opposable thumbs."
[i got that from the godfather]
Sargent of Thumbs NOTHING to it what do you think Den Mother Abby?
  #6168  
Old 08-17-2018, 08:30 PM
Abby10 Abby10 is offline
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Originally Posted by tomwed View Post
I would like to be Sargent of Thumbs. Sargent of Arms sounds a little too pushy and a bit dangerous. Suppose someone sticks their thumb up, I have no problem telling them "Hey you, put your opposable thumb down. There's nothing going on here for you to thumb us. After all we're reasonable bipeds with opposable thumbs."
[i got that from the godfather]
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Originally Posted by fw102807 View Post
Sargent of Thumbs NOTHING to it what do you think Den Mother Abby?
You got it, Sarg.

Sorry, I just fell asleep with my NOTHING on. I guess 2 can play that game -lol.
  #6169  
Old 08-17-2018, 09:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Abby10 View Post
Holy Smokes! You guys are having a blast on here today. Well, here's something I just got from a friend that is perfect for NOTHING. Ironically, my husband just sat down with me yesterday to explain this deep thinking phenomenon in retired men, so even more apropos for my situation. And here I thought he was just making an excuse for doing NOTHING instead of what I thought he should be doing.......

It's entitled, "RETIRED MEN-----DEEP THINKERS???"

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.

The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "NOTHING."

The reason I said "NOTHING" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"
At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.

Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.


(Disclaimer: NOTHING capitalized solely for this thread.)
I have to remember this. NOTHING but funny. And true.
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  #6170  
Old 08-17-2018, 09:22 PM
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Oh my goodness, I think he's finally here. I'm NOTHING but hanging on by a thread at this point.
  #6171  
Old 08-17-2018, 09:24 PM
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I have to remember this. NOTHING but funny. And true.
Yep, there you are.......I've almost exhausted all my NOTHING today.
  #6172  
Old 08-17-2018, 09:25 PM
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Since I have to go to my paid job tomorrow, I must finish my NOTHING work today. So here is your priority list, Kommander, for your return home tomorrow -

1) NOTHING, NOTHING, no NOTHING comes before your wife. Greet her, spend time with her before doing anything else because she missed you even more than NOTHING did. You might just want to stop by briefly to let us know you got home safe.

2) Get a good night's sleep.

3) After your morning coffee and a shout out to NOTHING, take a look outside and see if your massive NOTHING yard needs mowed. Hopefully someone else did that for you. If so, take the day off, rest, spend quality time with your better half.

4) Get a good night's sleep.

5) Check in with work, go in if you have to, and get yourself caught up. Then take a nap. Repeat if necessary.

6) Once all is in order both at home and work, you really have to deal with your massive NOTHING deficit. It is seriously in need of replenishment. If it goes much lower it may crash and burn leaving NOTHING left of NOTHING for us NOTHINGS.

Aside from this, it will be NOTHING but wonderful to welcome you back to the usual NOTHING routine. Whether or not all of us NOTHINGS are in one piece due to your absence is debatable, but we survived nonetheless. home, back to the fold.

And please take note, I really know how to use my NOTHING - lol
I will print this and pin it above my desk. NOTHING but solid advice.
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  #6173  
Old 08-17-2018, 09:27 PM
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Originally Posted by fw102807 View Post
It will be NOTHING but great to have the Kommander back. It has been kind of a rough couple of weeks trying to fend for ourselves and keep track of our NOTHINGS. Glad Tom stepped up to the plate (I am always thinking of food) and a cameo appearance from Barefoot.
You guys have done NOTHING but an outstanding job. I’m proud of all of you.
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  #6174  
Old 08-17-2018, 09:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Abby10 View Post
Does K have any idea all that I've dealt with while he's been gone?!? Thank goodness it all amounts to NOTHING, including any payment for it.
You’re just trying to soften me up for when you lose the NOTHING bet. lol
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  #6175  
Old 08-17-2018, 09:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Abby10 View Post
I think your request should be NOTHING but honored.
Think again. This is NOTHING we have rules. lol
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  #6176  
Old 08-17-2018, 09:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Kenswing View Post
I will print this and pin it above my desk. NOTHING but solid advice.
NOTHING but honored, Kommander.
  #6177  
Old 08-17-2018, 09:34 PM
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Thanks, fw. NOTHING but nice of you. I could do without the raise and promotion though unless K has something good to offer that I know NOTHING about.
I’ll have to give this some thought. It’ll most likely result in NOTHING though.
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  #6178  
Old 08-17-2018, 09:41 PM
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Holy cow. NOTHING sure was busy today.
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  #6179  
Old 08-17-2018, 09:42 PM
Abby10 Abby10 is offline
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Originally Posted by Kenswing View Post
You’re just trying to soften me up for when you lose the NOTHING bet. lol
You are NOTHING but difficult to manipulate. Btw, my husband kiddingly called me a manipulator today. What is it with you two? You have some kind of connection I don't know about for the sole purpose of ganging up on me?
  #6180  
Old 08-17-2018, 09:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Kenswing View Post
Holy cow. NOTHING sure was busy today.
Yep, we wanted to be sure we got you back into the swing of things in NOTHINGVILLE, so we pushed it full throttle.
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