[MartinSE]

Now that I am in my 70's things are starting to wear out and some of those clubs I paid dues into all my life are starting to pay dividends (smoking 2 packs of non-filter Pall Mall's a day for 45 years - approximately $98,000 not counting interest) like the membership in the "I got cancer" club...

I have been pondering lately if it would have made any difference if my parents and grandparents had ever discussed how their health was and how it was impacting their quality of life. My family considered any discussion of health taboo, off limits - those dark little secrets not to be discussed.

Since I retired I have encouraged my children (7 kids - almost countless grand and great-grand kids) to ask questions and openly discuss health issues.

What is everyones opinion.

Do you openly discuss growing older with your kids - not preaching, just openly discussing it.

[Kenswing]

We don't have any kids but have plenty of nieces and nephews that we are close with. I've had several conversations with them, mainly the boys. I tell them "I know you won't listen to me because I didn't listen to the people that told me I would pay for (insert whatever bad behavior) when I was your age. But please keep it in the back of your mind. You WILL pay for it all later". Hopefully the seed is planted. But if they're anything like I was, only time will be the true teacher.

[retiredguy123]

It's a good idea, but probably won't do much good. I don't even think that doctors spend much effort talking to their patients about bad health habits. They would rather write a prescription. Also, I don't understand why anyone would start smoking today, but a lot do.

[Caymus]

My father would have daily uncontrolled coughing fits. That was enough to convince me never to smoke.

[Djean1981]

I can relate.. Health concerns were just not discussed while I was growing up.. However, I grew up with obvious alcoholics and the air in our house was like a saloon's. Therefore, I have never ever wanted to smoke or drink -zero interest. Sadly, I think most kids only learn more from experiences than spoken wisdom.

[JoelJohnson]

When I was a kid, I stole one of my father's cigarettes. I went to my room and lit it up. I took one puff and coughed, I thought I was doing it wrong so I took another puff. I said to myself "why do people do this?" I put the cigarette out and never took another puff.

[retiredguy123]

Originally Posted by JoelJohnson

When I was a kid, I stole one of my father's cigarettes. I went to my room and lit it up. I took one puff and coughed, I thought I was doing it wrong so I took another puff. I said to myself "why do people do this?" I put the cigarette out and never took another puff.

I did the exact same thing with my Mom's cigarettes. One puff was all I needed to quit forever.

[Happydaz]

I had a slow start in the healthy living category. I smoked up until I was 31 and I stayed out too late on occasion. (Understatement) I did quit smoking among other bad habits in my early thirties and that did have an effect on my five sons. I didn’t preach but I told them the mistakes I had made and left it at that. I was always a very aggressive gardener and spent hours digging, cutting, etc.. all the time. That kept me in moderately good shape, but in my middle age I ballooned to 212 pounds and didn’t feel in any position to talk about good health habits. Finally in my 60’s I started to lose weight and tried to eat better.

The most dramatic change occurred nine years ago when I moved to The Villages. Right after moving here I bought a carbon fiber road bicycle and now bicycle well over 100 miles a week. My weight dropped to 160 pounds and I am in the best shape of my adult life. I still garden like crazy and lift hand weights. What have I seen? The neighbors who moved in at the same time used to chuckle when they saw me all dirty and sweaty from gardening and they would ask me why I do that to my self. So what has happened? They no longer laugh as now many of them are having health problems, etc and they no longer give me a hard time. This is the lesson I mention to my sons, I am shocked about the divergence I see among my friends and neighbors who are in their mid seventies. People who have drank too much, ate too much and didn’t exercise over these last years are really getting sick. Heart problems, circulation problems etc. One of my son’s father in law, the same age as me, drinks excessively and just quit smoking. At a graduation party for our granddaughter I noticed how sick he looked. His wife said he had COPD but looking at his swollen feet (he was wearing sandals) it appeared that he had other issues. He drank beer after beer. He mentioned to me that getting old was really bad. When I returned to The Villages I was so thankful that we have the opportunities here to have the best possible health. We can’t blame our problems on the weather or work pressures. That is what I try to instill in my sons that you can improve your health at any age.

[Toymeister]

It would be nice if our children and younger generation listened to our wisdom, sadly they rarely do.

On occasion my kids acknowledge that I know a great deal but those are fleeting moments in time...

[ThirdOfFive]

Originally Posted by retiredguy123

It's a good idea, but probably won't do much good. I don't even think that doctors spend much effort talking to their patients about bad health habits. They would rather write a prescription. Also, I don't understand why anyone would start smoking today, but a lot do.

True. I once had a doctor tell me I needed to lose weight and quit smoking. He weighed at least 300 lbs. and was puffing on a Marlboro when he told me. Good advice? Yep. Good example? Well...

My plans are made. My wife and kids have copies of my will as well as my advance directive. It is simple: if I cannot make my own decisions if seriously ill and no hope of a reasonable quality of life, then pull the plug.

[MartinSE]

Originally Posted by Kenswing

We don't have any kids but have plenty of nieces and nephews that we are close with. I've had several conversations with them, mainly the boys. I tell them "I know you won't listen to me because I didn't listen to the people that told me I would pay for (insert whatever bad behavior) when I was your age. But please keep it in the back of your mind. You WILL pay for it all later". Hopefully the seed is planted. But if they're anything like I was, only time will be the true teacher.

Exactly, the best we can hope for is to plant a seed.

[MartinSE]

Originally Posted by retiredguy123

It's a good idea, but probably won't do much good. I don't even think that doctors spend much effort talking to their patients about bad health habits. They would rather write a prescription. Also, I don't understand why anyone would start smoking today, but a lot do.

I am very lucky. My PCP in the VA Healthcare spends time with me every appointment. She discusses everything going on in detail, she then spends time listening to me. It's almost like she cares. That was a joke, she really does care, and the VA makes sure she has the time to spend with each of us. Like I said, I am very lucky.

[Taltarzac725]

Originally Posted by JoelJohnson

When I was a kid, I stole one of my father's cigarettes. I went to my room and lit it up. I took one puff and coughed, I thought I was doing it wrong so I took another puff. I said to myself "why do people do this?" I put the cigarette out and never took another puff.

Sounds like me and my experience.

[MartinSE]

Originally Posted by Djean1981

I can relate.. Health concerns were just not discussed while I was growing up.. However, I grew up with obvious alcoholics and the air in our house was like a saloon's. Therefore, I have never ever wanted to smoke or drink -zero interest. Sadly, I think most kids only learn more from experiences than spoken wisdom.

Truth.

My first wife's father was an alcoholic. He lost everything, his career, his family and finally his life too young. After that I never touched a drink for 45 years. Seeing is so much more effective than hearing.

[MartinSE]

Originally Posted by ThirdOfFive

True. I once had a doctor tell me I needed to lose weight and quit smoking. He weighed at least 300 lbs. and was puffing on a Marlboro when he told me. Good advice? Yep. Good example? Well...

My plans are made. My wife and kids have copies of my will as well as my advance directive. It is simple: if I cannot make my own decisions if seriously ill and no hope of a reasonable quality of life, then pull the plug.

true.

And yes, advanced directives are important, and sharing those with family and friends is important. We have done both. Mine is basically the same as yours. Beware, that in Florida, according to my PCP at the VA, the state does not honor living wills. It considers them a suggestion that the attending physician can ignore if they want to. sigh. Luckily the VA does honor them, and she assortment they would be read and followed to the letter if I am in a VA facility.

Funny how a state that constantly says the people should be allowed to make decisions about their lives won't honor what in may opinion is the most important decision anyone can and should make.