[Fraugoofy]

Originally Posted by JoelJohnson

OK, here are more details.

My wife and a friend went to El Santiago rec center at 4:30 Friday night to play Pokemo. She goes there and there were several people already there some of them 6 at a table. When she gets there she asks to play, but the people at the tables say that they have been playing for years together and don't want to break up their group. Now you need at least 4 to play. She was told that she should have brought 4 people to play.

My wife saw the leader and someone else go talk to the rec center director, but they never talked to my wife. My wife went up there and asked what was going on. The director sided with the leader. Now my wife pointed out that the the club was supposed to be open which means they are supposed to accommodate new players. After a while, since nothing was changing, she and her friend left.

She and her friend went to another Pokemo game later in the week and they broke up a group of 6 and created two groups of 5. They made the effort.

My point is that if the club is "open" the club does not pay for the room, but if it is "Closed" then the are supposed to pay for the room.

Don't we have rules for a reason? Shouldn't the rec center directors enforce the rules? Aren't we all equal, or are some more equal than others?

America's friendliest hometown!

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[golfing eagles]

Sounds like this could have been handled better. I have no knowledge of "Pokemo", so no idea if a certain skill level is involved

Social clubs should really be open to all

Certain activities require a certain skill level---you can't play pickleball without taking the course and getting rated, likewise, a golf group that plays the champ courses from the black tees probably doesn't want a beginner----it would be no fun for anyone and there is no need to play way above your level. These activities do have groups of all skill levels available.

Same with bridge, sanctioned duplicate games are usually flighted or stratiflighted. I don't know about TV since we haven't played here

BTW, Redwitch, where are the reasonable duplicate games? My wife and I are both ACBL certified teachers, ACBL certified directors and life masters several times over, but haven't played in over 15 years and probably $uck.(We just got tired of the the game being played by litigation rather than skill, especially since my wife will take time to consider a bid on occasion and kept getting hit with law 16B violations) That and the Rita Shugart "Oh $**t" ruling that made it clear that the rules do not apply to the top pros.

[Rapscallion St Croix]

[Erika]

Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee

I'm with Bonny on this one. If a group of card players has been playing together for any length of time they are a "club" unto themselves and I don't think your wife and her friend should have tried to join them. A group of six of us play cards once a week and we would not appreciate anyone trying to break us up, it is our own private little social group for the time we are there.

I'm going to suggest that your wife call the contact for a club in which she is interested, and ask whether they welcome newcomers.

If it is your "own private little social group" it should meet at a private location rather than at a rec center which is open to public TV residents.

I wouldn't find it enjoyable to impose on an unwelcoming group but I personally don't think that it's very nice to be exclusive in the way you have described.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by Bonny

This is probably a group of friends and neighbors that live in Santiago that get together at a rec center because their houses aren't big enough for everyone to get together. If they have played together for a long time, they may not want to break up their groups of friends for strangers.
I'm assuming all would have been good if your wife came with her own group of 4.

That is what I would do. Wouldn't you Bonny? I don't like to be where I am not welcome.

[redwitch]

Sorry, if you're meeting at a rec center and there's room and a way to accommodate a new player, there is absolutely no excuse for not welcoming someone new. You want to just play with friends, then play in each other's homes. Don't be rude and exclude folks because you have your own clique.

GE, sent you a PM re dupe.

[CFrance]

Originally Posted by redwitch

Sorry, if you're meeting at a rec center and there's room and a way to accommodate a new player, there is absolutely no excuse for not welcoming someone new. You want to just play with friends, then play in each other's homes. Don't be rude and exclude folks because you have your own clique.

GE, sent you a PM re dupe.

I agree with this, especially in view of the rules. Otherwise, it seems like people are kind of blaming the victim.

[perrjojo]

Originally Posted by redwitch

Sorry, if you're meeting at a rec center and there's room and a way to accommodate a new player, there is absolutely no excuse for not welcoming someone new. You want to just play with friends, then play in each other's homes. Don't be rude and exclude folks because you have your own clique.

GE, sent you a PM re dupe.

Amen! Private groups should be held in private homes. If the club is listed in the rec paper it should be open to anyone who pays amenity fees.

[outlaw]

If I showed up at a club, and there were no open spots, and no one offered to let me squeeze in, I would just leave. No harm, no foul. I sure wouldn't be offended. I understand long standing groups that like to get together with themselves. I would not make a scene and get management involved. I would just figure all the spots were taken, and I need to plan better if I really want to participate. This seems a bit self centered and an entitled attitude. Why in the world would you want to push yourself into a group that isn't interested in having you join them?

[Madelaine Amee]

I fully understand that all clubs should be "open" to newcomers, technically they are, but in reality they are not! There is a distinct difference to being "open" and "welcoming". I found that out the hard way when a girlfriend and I just "dropped" in to a game of Scrabble, the resident players looked at us like we had three heads (not just two), they did break up a table to play with us, but they were not playing the game of scrabble we had always played!!! Uncomfortable, you bet! It's a fact of life, if you insist on breaking up a group that plays every week you are going to be very, very uncomfortable.

To avoid any problems in the future, I suggest you contact the leader of the group, explain that two of you would like to play and ask for her advice - she may have other singles looking to play.

I may be the odd man out here, but I never go to a new club without first calling the leader, whose name is always available, and asking if they have room etc. etc. I do not push myself in where I am not wanted and, therefore, will not enjoy myself. Also, if you call ahead they will be expecting you and most likely introduce you to the group!

As for six of us playing weekly - we actually do not play at one of the clubs, I used that example just to explain how we would feel if someone insisted on breaking in to our "cliquey" little group.

[Madelaine Amee]

Originally Posted by outlaw

If I showed up at a club, and there were no open spots, and no one offered to let me squeeze in, I would just leave. No harm, no foul. I sure wouldn't be offended. I understand long standing groups that like to get together with themselves. I would not make a scene and get management involved. I would just figure all the spots were taken, and I need to plan better if I really want to participate. This seems a bit self centered and an entitled attitude. Why in the world would you want to push yourself into a group that isn't interested in having you join them?

[Bryan]

It appears you were "blown off" by the rec cen director as well as Rec Dept management and never got a straight answer. I would go to a Welcome Wednesday meeting at the District Offices in Sumter Landing (2nd floor conference room) and ask your question when the Rec Dept director makes an update. Those meetings are open to the public, held at 11 AM almost every Wednesday (not 7/06 though) and last about 45 minutes. You will get an answer - maybe not at the meeting but shortly thereafter.

[RickeyD]

Originally Posted by JoelJohnson

If a person goes to a club that is supposed to be open, but the people there refuse to accommodate them, when they could, doesn't that mean it's a closed club. If so shouldn't that club be made to pay for the room at the rec center?



This happened to my wife and the the director in charge of the rec center refused to intervene. She called John Rohan's office and they referred it back to the director. The director did call my wife back, it sounds like nothing is going to change.



I refrained from pointing out the club and the rec center, but will if I get enough interest, or, if she goes back there and nothing has changed.

Mean people suck

[graciegirl]

I have heard that the really, really, really good Mahjong players are not very excited about newbies. I understand this. Many people watched their moms play Mahjong as infants. It is practically in their genes. I was raised on Euchre. We taught grandkids to play it at very early age.

I wouldn't like to join an established group that didn't seem glad to see me, or break up a group who usually plays together. I agree with Outlaw on this one. No way would I get the staff involved. I would find another place or group or play another game. I am never happy if I win by intimidation. Some people thrive on it.

[redwitch]

[QUOTE=graciegirl;1247684]I have heard that the really, really, really good Mahjong players are not very excited about newbies. I understand this. Many people watched their moms play Mahjong as infants. It is practically in their genes. I was raised on Euchre. We taught grandkids to play it at very early age.

I wouldn't like to join an established group that didn't seem glad to see me, or break up a group who usually plays together. I agree with Outlaw on this one. No way would I get the staff involved. I would find another place or group or play another game. I am never happy if I win by intimidation. Some people thrive on it.[/]

I agree that I wouldn't force myself on a group such as this -- they'd make darn sure I knew I was unwelcome. However, I also believe groups like this have no business at rec centers. Every event should be open so long as there is room, a person has the skill level as posted in the rec center list and a person can be accommodated and every new person should be made to feel welcome. If your group can't do this, then find a venue where you can play privately.