[whartonjelly]

I am 57 and have lost many of my class mates from my high school, who attended all grades 1 to 12. Heart disease, brain cancer, breast cancer, liver transplant failure, all have missed out on the ability to retire and take care of only themselves. Be proud and grateful you have the chance to make the choice. Life is wayyyy tooo shortttt. I have tons of family that are already spread out all over , due to their jobs. Our Job is to remain happy and healthy for them, and to give them a place to vacation!!!!

[handyman]

Originally Posted by Shimpy

Like Ralph Kramden I would put my foot down and tell her "I am king of the castle and you are just a servant" and you will do it my way.
AAAH, please don't let my wife see this.

TThe first thing my sweetie wants is to string up her heavy bag in the garage

[handyman]

Originally Posted by pooh

Leaving family is difficult, more so for some. One thing to remember is that not all might stay where they are, I'm speaking of family. If she's concerned about leaving older family members, well, they are more likely to not move, but younger members, tend to be on the move more these days. Young adults and their children many times move to new locations as a result of job changes.
There's always Skype, Facetime, other "live" computer chats that can be used for seeing each other. If leaving older parents is the problem, I'm not sure how to address that. Hubby's Mom moved to TV the same time we did. I never lived near my parents as an adult, but my siblings remained near my parents and provided the needed and necessary care their last years required.
Does your wife have others that can offer assistance if she's concerned about leaving parents? Does she interact with them on a daily basis? Is it absolutely necessary that SHE be the one to be located near her parents? Change is difficult for some, welcomed by others. This community provides something for everyone and many here have had to deal with something similar...leaving family behind. Once it happens, all adjust to the change. Sometimes I think the more difficult part is the anticipation and not the actually move.

Texas is a great state, indeed, as are all of the states. Each of us is partial to where we lived, but life is always changing. Fear of change can hold many back, fear of what's unknown can do the same. Maybe moving here in steps as you have planned will make your wife more comfortable. The more you visit, the more you love the place. Many I have known as snowbirds, are here longer than when we first met. They aren't truly frogs, yet, but have come to love their newest hometown. Florida isn't Texas, that's for sure, but Florida has lots to offer...and central Florida is so different from other parts of the state. Guess that can be said for any state, customs, traditions, even accents might be different in one part of the state than in another.

Come, enjoy, meet new friends, relax, play, learn, teach, and have fun. Everyone has moved here from some other place so we all have something in common and we all have lots to share. Once you make friends, it's comfortable and homey, just like what you've come from.

People are portable if they miss you then they will come and see you,or you will come back to visit,it is a win win

[jblum315]

Flamingo, there are loads of volunteer opportunities here




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[Snowbirdtobe]

TV is not just about the lifestyle it's located in Florida.
Take the wife and some grandchildren on a vacation to Florida.
Go to Disney, Key West, Tarpon Springs, Universal, The Cape etc.
Fly in and out of Orlando and point out how close to TV everything is.
Next year suggest you rent a place in TV for the summer and use it as a vacation home. Plan to fly in assorted guests for a Disney visit.
There is no rush to make a decision. There will always be places for sale in TV.

[notlongnow]

Lots and lots of great advice here. Thanks
That's one of the things that draws me to TV. Most everybody seems to be on the same page.
As I wind down my career I just start thinking and don't want it to sound like "we have to do it now" to my wife.
She knows I want to live there but she is not thinking that far ahead, I always do.
We are planning a Disney trip for next year with a stop in TV to visit my folks again.
You guys are right about life being to short and my relatives are mobile just like we are.
We don't even know where everybody will be living in the next 5 years anyway so I will plan for us.
Looking forward to it.
Thanks
EB

[mayBavillager]

I am having the same problem as your wife. My husband has been ready to come there for years. We first came to TV at age 49 and I was no where ready then. We went to FL many times after that (Orlando, Ft Meyers, West Palm Beach etc) and every time we always made time to go view the model homes again and again. I began to like it more however, always felt I cannot leave my kids. Well, I retired at age 62 and we rented for a month just this April 2011 and loved it. Now we have 2 grand children, 4 yrs old and 17 months and I really don't want to leave them because I do not want them to grow up and not know us and I will miss them. The oldest is very bonded to my husband. My husband also tells me, we can come home and visit and stay from Thanksgiving till Xmas and also in the summer and they can come visit anytime. Many tell me, we have our own lives to live now. Anyway, long story short, the house is going on the market probably tomorrow as the realtor came today to take pictures. We have lived in the same city all our lives and in this same house for 35 years. I am excited and yet nervous too. I want to come to TV a lot yet at the same time feel unsure because of the grand children, but I also love the idea of having a brand new house..... ughhh who knew there would be so many decisions when I retired....

[notlongnow]

mayBavillager

I get butterflies in my stomach just reading your post. I know that there are many things that change in our lives at this time and I am excited for that.
Good luck on the sale of your home and I am sure you will love it in TV.
Jealous, jealous, jealous

[ilovetv]

Originally Posted by mayBavillager

I am having the same problem as your wife. My husband has been ready to come there for years. We first came to TV at age 49 and I was no where ready then. We went to FL many times after that (Orlando, Ft Meyers, West Palm Beach etc) and every time we always made time to go view the model homes again and again. I began to like it more however, always felt I cannot leave my kids. Well, I retired at age 62 and we rented for a month just this April 2011 and loved it. Now we have 2 grand children, 4 yrs old and 17 months and I really don't want to leave them because I do not want them to grow up and not know us and I will miss them. The oldest is very bonded to my husband. My husband also tells me, we can come home and visit and stay from Thanksgiving till Xmas and also in the summer and they can come visit anytime. Many tell me, we have our own lives to live now. Anyway, long story short, the house is going on the market probably tomorrow as the realtor came today to take pictures. We have lived in the same city all our lives and in this same house for 35 years. I am excited and yet nervous too. I want to come to TV a lot yet at the same time feel unsure because of the grand children, but I also love the idea of having a brand new house..... ughhh who knew there would be so many decisions when I retired....

Speaking from experience in raising our kids 12 hours away from both my and husband's parents, your grandchildren will know you and have a special bond, even from brief visits of 2-3 days several times throughout the year. Grandparents and their grandchildren have a unique relationship that distance does not fade. The Villages is the only place I know of where kids could have more fun with their grandparents than they could ever have at grandparents' past homes. See video in this month's V-Mail:

http://www.thevillages.com/newsletter/201109/share.htm

The fun and bonding available here for grandparents and their grandchildren makes it far more appealing to visit here.

[ijusluvit]

Originally Posted by notlongnow

I intend on living in TV at some point in my life. My wife and I have been there twice and intend on returning many times before living there.
I love everything about TV.

My parents live there now and both love it. At some point their home will be handed down but hopfully not for a long time.

My wife agrees that it is a wonderful place but is having a hard time seeing us move there, leaving the great state of Texas and her family.
As far as my family goes, I am closest to my father and stepmother and they live in TV so no big deal for me.

All that being said, my question is to those who have had a simular experience with convincing their spouse that all will be fine.
I am 58 and she is 59. we will retire part-time in two years and sell our business so this will not be a move we would make right away but would like to get her moving in the right direction.

So....... what did you do or would you do if you were me.

I think we would live there in the winter first and the move full time later.
We both golf and will certainly play pickleball.
EB

Three pages of posts have revealed a number of folks struggling with the decision to relocate. No one has yet suggested what I think is the best way: to just do it, but part time until you make a final decision. If you can possibly afford it, buy a house in TV. Have fun making it YOUR OWN. Go there whenever you can get away. Invite your relatives and friends. Make it a special place for grandchildren and others you need to be with.
There is no comparison of this lifestyle to renting places weeks, months, or even seasons at a time. If you spend time and have some fun making a second home is in TV, it is more likely to become your first home, and the place where your loved ones really enjoy visiting.
And if I'm wrong and things don't work out, you can sell quickly and almost certainly break even or even make a profit.
What you and your spouse need to remember most is that life is short. Agonizing over the decision is pain which can be avoided. I'll bet most folks who have come here had butterflies, but 80+ thousand are here!
GO FOR IT! GOOD LUCK!

[CarGuys]

Well we are 59 and 60. Everytime we thought we would not like living in the Villages we would take a break away from it for a year then return to see if it was " Still for us"

We we miss home. Of course 59 years of living in one place gets to be a pretty deep rut.

However as my friends on this site have educated me. Change is a good thing. And my best friend 55 who has cancer told me. " Herv if your happy there go you can't replace the years as you grow older.

I feel my Son and his Twins will come visit. After all we are close to Disney and other nice attractions.

And nothing will stop us from heading home to visit.

I am lucky I am probably more afraid to move than my wife! She visited here three times and said this is it. NO MORE SNOW, We will go home for Christmas and then get outta Dodge!

I agree with my friends above. Your wife has to visit and get that Yea or Ney feeling.

[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by notlongnow

I intend on living in TV at some point in my life. My wife and I have been there twice and intend on returning many times before living there.

All that being said, my question is to those who have had a simular experience with convincing their spouse that all will be fine.
I am 58 and she is 59. we will retire part-time in two years and sell our business so this will not be a move we would make right away but would like to get her moving in the right direction.

So....... what did you do or would you do if you were me.

I sure wouldn't talk her into a move, and burn my bridges. If you can afford it, I think a perfect solution is to compromise and live in TV half the time. Having two houses is expensive, but it may keep your wife happy. And she may grow to love TV, as many people do, and want to become a Frog. However, not everyone loves TV, and I know more than a few couples who moved to TV and then sold their TV residence, and moved "back home". They were lonely for family and wanted to see them more often than just an occasional visit.

[Schaumburger]

Originally Posted by mayBavillager

I am having the same problem as your wife. My husband has been ready to come there for years. We first came to TV at age 49 and I was no where ready then. We went to FL many times after that (Orlando, Ft Meyers, West Palm Beach etc) and every time we always made time to go view the model homes again and again. I began to like it more however, always felt I cannot leave my kids. Well, I retired at age 62 and we rented for a month just this April 2011 and loved it. Now we have 2 grand children, 4 yrs old and 17 months and I really don't want to leave them because I do not want them to grow up and not know us and I will miss them. The oldest is very bonded to my husband. My husband also tells me, we can come home and visit and stay from Thanksgiving till Xmas and also in the summer and they can come visit anytime. Many tell me, we have our own lives to live now. Anyway, long story short, the house is going on the market probably tomorrow as the realtor came today to take pictures. We have lived in the same city all our lives and in this same house for 35 years. I am excited and yet nervous too. I want to come to TV a lot yet at the same time feel unsure because of the grand children, but I also love the idea of having a brand new house..... ughhh who knew there would be so many decisions when I retired....

mayBavillager -- Best of luck to you on selling your house. As others have posted, TV offers special programs in the summer for grandchildren who are visiting their grandparents. Your grandkids may be a little young for this program, but before you know they will both be school age. I saw quite a few grandchildren with their grandparents in TV when I visited in July -- that was nice to see.

[LvmyPug2]

Fear of change is very common and moving to a new community in a different part of the country is a BIG change for many people. There will always be reasons to justify status quo if this is what you really want.

As I contemplated leaving friends and family up north one of my dearest friends asked "at our age, how many more chances do we get to have a great adventure?". I decided she was right and we are house shopping in TV today

[Schaumburger]

Originally Posted by LvmyPug2

Fear of change is very common and moving to a new community in a different part of the country is a BIG change for many people. There will always be reasons to justify status quo if this is what you really want.

As I contemplated leaving friends and family up north one of my dearest friends asked "at our age, how many more chances do we get to have a great adventure?". I decided she was right and we are house shopping in TV today

LvmyPug2 -- Please share your house hunting experiences on TOTV. And pugs are my favorite dog breed.