Having second thoughts!

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  #31  
Old 03-19-2015, 06:55 AM
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Originally Posted by JoMar View Post
Some in our family said the same thing but what they were really saying was we don't want want you to go because that would create hardships for us....who will baby sit the kids, who will do the holiday dinner etc. If they were really concerned about us they would have been excited for us but nope, they were concerned how us moving would change their lives. We moved, they accept it and guess who's coming to visit? You decide what's best for you, you decide what will make you happy and that's the drum to march too. What's the worst thing that can happen, you sell here and move back if it doesn't work out......this isn't a lockup. And I agree, if you haven't rented for an extended time you might want to try that first.
The bold statements hit the nail on the head. They are trying to change your mind for their benefit, not yours.

It's perfectly normal to get anxious when making a big change in one's life. They are many unknowns which most people get scared and confused when the things they have been comfortable with, gets changed.. There will be a period of adjustment when you move here, but after a few months, you will see it's the best thing that could happen to someone, who really wants to be here.

When the doubters and family members who only have their interest at heart visit, they will see the big picture and be converted.

My mother always used to say, "you can't live your life for your children, you need you own friends and way of life. Those that think they know you, don't know what's in your heart and mind. Be your own person and you will be much happier.

Have they seen TV and all it has to offer? Probably not, and some people are just so negative to things, in general.
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  #32  
Old 03-19-2015, 07:19 AM
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For some it is difficult to make a choice such as this. Changing your life, friends, family, familiar places, etc.

I am a fan of the yellow legal pad. Yep, you need to sit some AM with your coffee and start a list, one side pros & cons of KC and the other side, pros and cons of TV. And be brutally honest! More than just the Golf, Squares, Clubs and Entertainment, but also financial, and health care, etc. Thoughts of if something happened health wise and not able to drive, what are my options. If a spouses passes away, what do I do in that situation? The questions I have posed is the same for here or your hometown. Difference is how close is help with that sort of situation.

We are on the down side of the mountain, worked hard and climbed to the top, and now the slide is to enjoy the time we have, whether it is in The Villages, or back to where we lived for the longest part of our lives. Friends are moved, gone, familiar places are no longer there, the grandchildren are grown and college bound or getting married to start their new lives, adult children are looking at possibly moving on to different places as they start to plan their "retirement life".

Take your time, rent for awhile, different seasons, do what you enjoy doing in both localities and sit back and compare. Sometimes when you don't have to work too hard at it, it becomes an easy answer. Just do what feels "right" for the both of you.
  #33  
Old 03-19-2015, 07:44 AM
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Were in the same boat. We have four major life moments we're considering; buying a house, selling a house, moving (far), and retiring.

We thought we were ready to pull the trigger during our Christmas visit and actually were ready to write a contract on a house. We decided to go back home and think it over. Well here we are three months later and cant make a decision.

I think for us the bigger worry is retiring. Going from a life of earning and saving to spending is what we're trying to cope with.

We are planning on another visit in June and will see what happens.
  #34  
Old 03-19-2015, 07:59 AM
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Moving to The Villages is not for everyone. Some people have not been happy here after uprooting themselves and have returned from where they came, due to missing family, health issues, missing friends, etc. others love it here (me!)

It is the same with retirement. It is a personal decision. I love being retired but I know others who terribly miss being part of workforce projects.

Do not rely on family or friends to make your lifechanging decision. Selling a home, buying a new house, packing, throwing things away, and then actually leaving a home is extremely stressful.
  #35  
Old 03-19-2015, 08:33 AM
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Major change is always hard, but it can also be a rebirth. Do what makes you happy, but sometimes you have to let go.
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  #36  
Old 03-19-2015, 08:48 AM
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Originally Posted by graciegirl View Post
I had second thoughts. When I came on this forum and questioned everything, people called me a troll.

It is hard to leave our other life, but what I said to our children is this;

If we don't do it now. When will we do it? We don't have unlimited time on this earth.
I'm not at the Villages yet, but this is also what my train of thought is. Am I planning on passing soon, NO, but I want to have the opportunity to enjoy myself before I go. I'm still younger that most at the villages, but you never know when GOD says it's time. I've had many friends and family pass, there has been a 39yr old in church recently have a heart attack. Damn, let me sit by a pool and play golf before you take me. I've worked hard all my life, raise a family. Let me enjoy the later years.
  #37  
Old 03-19-2015, 08:52 AM
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You have to live for YOU. If you want to do it, then we'll see ya.
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  #38  
Old 03-19-2015, 08:53 AM
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The four saddest words are; "It might have been".

One should live their life in happiness, being unhappy is not an option. IMHO
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  #39  
Old 03-19-2015, 09:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2BNTV View Post
The bold statements hit the nail on the head. They are trying to change your mind for their benefit, not yours.

It's perfectly normal to get anxious when making a big change in one's life. They are many unknowns which most people get scared and confused when the things they have been comfortable with, gets changed.. There will be a period of adjustment when you move here, but after a few months, you will see it's the best thing that could happen to someone, who really wants to be here.

When the doubters and family members who only have their interest at heart visit, they will see the big picture and be converted.

My mother always used to say, "you can't live your life for your children, you need you own friends and way of life. Those that think they know you, don't know what's in your heart and mind. Be your own person and you will be much happier.

Have they seen TV and all it has to offer? Probably not, and some people are just so negative to things, in general.
Very well said Joe!
  #40  
Old 03-19-2015, 09:20 AM
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What does your financial planner say? Get one and find out the financial advantages, if any.
Can you travel easily between TV and home?
Where is home?
Are you bored or busy at home doing what you enjoy?
Are you physically active and outside?

For me, TV has been better than any vacation I had since the oldest turned 18. [not counting a transatlantic cruise including Europe]
I own very little.
I don't have any grandchildren.
My oldest lives in Palo Alto.
I'm getting a lot of sun down here and golfing [walking] and biking quite a bit.
I started new hobbies.
It's easier for me to make friends down here.
I'm close to Brownwood.

So for me, so far, I made the right decision.
  #41  
Old 03-19-2015, 09:56 AM
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think and pray about it. A neighbor loves it here but his wife wants to move back because she is homesick. Do what's best for you and not others.
  #42  
Old 03-19-2015, 10:17 AM
deestatham
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cms36 View Post
Were in the same boat. We have four major life moments we're considering; buying a house, selling a house, moving (far), and retiring.

We thought we were ready to pull the trigger during our Christmas visit and actually were ready to write a contract on a house. We decided to go back home and think it over. Well here we are three months later and cant make a decision.

I think for us the bigger worry is retiring. Going from a life of earning and saving to spending is what we're trying to cope with.

We are planning on another visit in June and will see what happens.

Deciding to retire is huge but trust me, you will NEVER look back. I'll tell you what my father told me - you won't spend as much money as you did when you were working so get out and enjoy it! He was right. I've been retired 15 years now and realize I spent much more when I was working. Giving up that security blanket is hard but once you're gone, you wonder why you ever doubted it. If you were told tomorrow that you had a serious health problem, what would you do? You're wasting precious time working. I don't know anyone who said "I wish I had worked another day."
  #43  
Old 03-19-2015, 10:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tomwed View Post
What does your financial planner say? Get one and find out the financial advantages, if any.
Can you travel easily between TV and home?
Where is home?
Are you bored or busy at home doing what you enjoy?
Are you physically active and outside?

For me, TV has been better than any vacation I had since the oldest turned 18. [not counting a transatlantic cruise including Europe]
I own very little.
I don't have any grandchildren.
My oldest lives in Palo Alto.
I'm getting a lot of sun down here and golfing [walking] and biking quite a bit.
I started new hobbies.
It's easier for me to make friends down here.
I'm close to Brownwood.

So for me, so far, I made the right decision.

Our Financial Advisor says we are in beautiful shape and money is not an issue. We live in Maryland and can't wait to get out of this too liberal state. Have lived here all my 68 years and have family here and in NJ. Close knit Italian-Irish-German family who think you are a traitor if you leave the fold. No children but lots of nieces and nephews. Change is very difficult for me as I'm sure it is for many. I feel like I'm making my first sky dive, I'm at the door of the plane and can't jump! Its nice to hear so many say that they felt the same way I do right now and it seems to have worked out for so many of you. We are going to rent a furnished house for a year so I'm coming down in May to find a place. God willing, the answers will come. I thank ALL of you for being so gracious with your time and thoughts. It has helped immensely.
  #44  
Old 03-19-2015, 10:54 AM
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Originally Posted by deestatham View Post
Our Financial Advisor says we are in beautiful shape and money is not an issue. We live in Maryland and can't wait to get out of this too liberal state. Have lived here all my 68 years and have family here and in NJ. Close knit Italian-Irish-German family who think you are a traitor if you leave the fold. No children but lots of nieces and nephews. Change is very difficult for me as I'm sure it is for many. I feel like I'm making my first sky dive, I'm at the door of the plane and can't jump! Its nice to hear so many say that they felt the same way I do right now and it seems to have worked out for so many of you. We are going to rent a furnished house for a year so I'm coming down in May to find a place. God willing, the answers will come. I thank ALL of you for being so gracious with your time and thoughts. It has helped immensely.
I remember my mom telling me about her life in Jersey City when she was a girl. That would be 80 years ago. Our Italian-Irish family all lived in the same neighborhood. Every now and then someone would try and move out to another neighborhood in Jersey City. There would be a bon voyage party and lot's of tears. She said everyone only lasted a couple of months before they got homesick and moved back into the old neighborhood.

Now we take planes like they took buses. How far away is Maryland by plane?

Last edited by tomwed; 03-19-2015 at 11:30 AM.
  #45  
Old 03-19-2015, 11:27 AM
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I own a quarter share villa in Hilton Head that I no longer use, and only rent. I often wondered how the quarter share concept would work for villagers investing in their hometown. Each owner has 1 week in January and then 2 weeks in the house and 6 weeks are for the other owners, all year round. If four couples co-owned a condo and leased a car than every 6 weeks you could fly home and visit family, friends and doctors. It wouldn't cost too much if you bought a studio or one bedroom. Maybe the car would be kept at the airport or nearby. Maybe you contact other villagers from your neck of the woods and if they want in, you could rent when it is vacant or get put on a waiting list to buy when someone wants out. All personal items would be kept in a family members house. It would be treated like a timeshare unit. Maybe you pack towels and sheets if there is a W/D to keep it simple.
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