[notlongnow]

I intend on living in TV at some point in my life. My wife and I have been there twice and intend on returning many times before living there.
I love everything about TV.

My parents live there now and both love it. At some point their home will be handed down but hopfully not for a long time.

My wife agrees that it is a wonderful place but is having a hard time seeing us move there, leaving the great state of Texas and her family.
As far as my family goes, I am closest to my father and stepmother and they live in TV so no big deal for me.

All that being said, my question is to those who have had a simular experience with convincing their spouse that all will be fine.
I am 58 and she is 59. we will retire part-time in two years and sell our business so this will not be a move we would make right away but would like to get her moving in the right direction.

So....... what did you do or would you do if you were me.

I think we would live there in the winter first and the move full time later.
We both golf and will certainly play pickleball.
EB

[aln]

If you can afford the time away from your business, come to TV and rent for a month at a time with her.

[pooh]

Leaving family is difficult, more so for some. One thing to remember is that not all might stay where they are, I'm speaking of family. If she's concerned about leaving older family members, well, they are more likely to not move, but younger members, tend to be on the move more these days. Young adults and their children many times move to new locations as a result of job changes.
There's always Skype, Facetime, other "live" computer chats that can be used for seeing each other. If leaving older parents is the problem, I'm not sure how to address that. Hubby's Mom moved to TV the same time we did. I never lived near my parents as an adult, but my siblings remained near my parents and provided the needed and necessary care their last years required.
Does your wife have others that can offer assistance if she's concerned about leaving parents? Does she interact with them on a daily basis? Is it absolutely necessary that SHE be the one to be located near her parents? Change is difficult for some, welcomed by others. This community provides something for everyone and many here have had to deal with something similar...leaving family behind. Once it happens, all adjust to the change. Sometimes I think the more difficult part is the anticipation and not the actually move.

Texas is a great state, indeed, as are all of the states. Each of us is partial to where we lived, but life is always changing. Fear of change can hold many back, fear of what's unknown can do the same. Maybe moving here in steps as you have planned will make your wife more comfortable. The more you visit, the more you love the place. Many I have known as snowbirds, are here longer than when we first met. They aren't truly frogs, yet, but have come to love their newest hometown. Florida isn't Texas, that's for sure, but Florida has lots to offer...and central Florida is so different from other parts of the state. Guess that can be said for any state, customs, traditions, even accents might be different in one part of the state than in another.

Come, enjoy, meet new friends, relax, play, learn, teach, and have fun. Everyone has moved here from some other place so we all have something in common and we all have lots to share. Once you make friends, it's comfortable and homey, just like what you've come from.

[swrinfla]

My personal advice?

Listen to Pooh!

For many, moving away from family is hard, hard, hard! For others, it is good, good, good!

My daughters "pushed" me to move to TV. Having no grandchildren to tug at my heart, I made what turned out to be the very, very best move ever!

My St. Louis-based daughter told me at some point early in my decision-period, "You don't want to put up with the snow and cold in the winter any more than I do; so, I'll come to The Villages to see you when it's bad here!"

That's worked very well, for both of us!

SWR

[Autoshow]

Originally Posted by notlongnow

I intend on living in TV at some point in my life. My wife and I have been there twice and intend on returning many times before living there.
I love everything about TV.

My parents live there now and both love it. At some point their home will be handed down but hopfully not for a long time.

My wife agrees that it is a wonderful place but is having a hard time seeing us move there, leaving the great state of Texas and her family.
As far as my family goes, I am closest to my father and stepmother and they live in TV so no big deal for me.

All that being said, my question is to those who have had a simular experience with convincing their spouse that all will be fine.
I am 58 and she is 59. we will retire part-time in two years and sell our business so this will not be a move we would make right away but would like to get her moving in the right direction.

So....... what did you do or would you do if you were me.

I think we would live there in the winter first and the move full time later.
We both golf and will certainly play pickleball.
EB

Do not force her to move here,she will be miserable,and you will not be happy,wait untill she is ready to move,no matter how long it takes

[graciegirl]

All of you have made such good points. It makes me so glad I know you.

Talk of the holidays has me wondering if Santa will arrive here and our kids too and hoping that we will be as merry as we were in Ohio.

[tainsley]

Good advice from all!

[notlongnow]

I know that part of the problem will be moving away from our grandchild and daughter/son-in-law but they live outside Houston and we live 8-9 hours north of them so it is no small trip to see them now.
I tell her we can fly to see them. That does not seem to help.

She also feels that she is her mothers closest help but her brother also lives in the same town as we do as well as her mother so he could help.
She has said that she could see living in TV but not before her mother is gone. Her mother is 80 now but does not look, feel or act 80 and we hope it stays that way. So I have to convince her that her mother can live with out her right down the street while we are in TV. I don't want to be 80 before I can move there!

I guess a good test of this would be renting in TV for a month to see how they do apart like that.

Just thinking ahead here. I don't think we would move to TV full time for another 4 years but snowbirds would be in a couple years so I need to get my story and facts together to get her leaning more my way.
Thanks
EB

[angiefox10]

I agree with the others in not convincing her to move...

However, I would like to point out that when one stays anywhere to be near another person/persons they also tie that person down as well. How can they make move for an opportunity in their life, if you are staying there for them?

Sometimes it's better to live your life to the fullest so that they can as well.

[flamingo]

Notlongnow, I am going through some of the same things as your wife. In fact, I have never lived anywhere else in my life but this county in Ohio. My husband is totally ready to leave here today, or the sooner the bettr. We are going to winter in TV where we already have purchased a home, and return in the spring, at which time I think I will be ready to sell here, and make the final move to TV. My biggest problem right now is my friends saying "How can you leave all your friends and the home you've put so much of yourself into?" I think the winter in TV will help me with the separation anxiety. Another thing that helped me is that on our last visit I went to a group called Happy Stitchers and found that I can do volunteer work for worthy causes with them. Here I am a Hospice volunteer and hated to lose that feeling of being needed, and it was nice to find out that people in TV do similar things. Make sure your wife finds groups, classes, and friends in TV who will fulfill the same needs that are met in Texas.
Pooh gave you wonderful advice, too. It helped me, also. Thanks, Pooh.
Notlongnow, give her time and remind her that she will always have you there beside her.

[notlongnow]

I was writing the last response and did not see the other responses.

You are right AutoShow, I would never force it. I really think she does want to live there but it is hard to imagine moving from a town we have lived in for thirty or more years and away from family. I get that but I can't believe that I am stuck here forever either.
So just looking for tips on providing her with the info she needs to make it HER choice not just mine.
Thanks to all of you and hope to meet you there sometime.
EB

[Shimpy]

Like Ralph Kramden I would put my foot down and tell her "I am king of the castle and you are just a servant" and you will do it my way.
AAAH, please don't let my wife see this.

[notlongnow]

LOL! Last time I put my foot down she stepped on it and we did exactly what she wanted to do.
I am the king of my castle, my wife told me I could be.
EB

[Pturner]

Hi Notlong,

Sounds like you are doing many things right: Talking it out, planning for a couple of years down the road, planning visits, snowbirding for the first few years.

Pooh, Autoshow and others have given good advice. Be sure you know what she loves about TV and support her in her efforts to enjoy those things when you visit, and later snowbird. Invite your daughter and her family to visit in TV. If they believe she would love it here, they might encourage her to make the move. Invite her Mom too.

Listen to her needs and concerns. Maybe you can plan regular family visits, set MIL and kids up with Skype and do other things that will ease your wife's transition and address her concerns. As others have said, if she's not happy, you won't be either.

[angiefox10]

Originally Posted by Shimpy

Like Ralph Kramden I would put my foot down and tell her "I am king of the castle and you are just a servant" and you will do it my way.
AAAH, please don't let my wife see this.

ummm Shimpy..... just how does that work for you????