[Villager Joyce]

Originally Posted by Sassafrass67

Tattoos.......we don't have. We just want to blend in and meet friends for when we can move here full time. We Just gauge this feeling on our relationships with neighbors and friends at home. We have a very fun neighborhood back home and enjoy "wine nights on the porch". We will just keep waving and hope to meet friendly people in the future. We do appreciate the recommendations of restaurants and contractor services.

Go to your computer right now and print off 10 invitations to come to your house this evening for wine night. Deliver your invitations to your next door and across the street neighbors. See what happens. We all had a back home. Something's good,some not so. If you want this to be your home, it is up to you to make it your home. Compare it to back home where it was better, it won't happen unless you remember the good and the bad. Lecture over....at least for now.

[hulahips]

Don't give up. When we first moved in I was 55, hubby 57. We were so thrilled to be here we joined every club. The very first club we walked in, I'll never forget. It was the NY club and I couldn't wait to meet everyone, see where they were from etc.. Hubby had stopped at a table to talk to a fellow he knew. I proceeded to walk up to a table of about 4 couples, introduced myself, (l am very friendly) and they sat there staring at me like I had two heads. I thought hmmm not to friendly so grabbed hubby and moved on to table no 2. Well we had a blast, ended up sitting with them and are still friends. Go to clubs of interest to you, keep hitting pools, and you will find friendly people. I make it a point that whenever we are out at club or dance if I see a couple sitting alone go always invite them to join us! No one should ever sit alone in the villages!

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by Villager Joyce

Go to your computer right now and print off 10 invitations to come to your house this evening for wine night. Deliver your invitations to your next door and across the street neighbors. See what happens. We all had a back home. Something's good,some not so. If you want this to be your home, it is up to you to make it your home. Compare it to back home where it was better, it won't happen unless you remember the good and the bad. Lecture over....at least for now.

Listen to this advice from Villager Joyce. It is a wonderful way to get to know people.


As has already been said, there isn't anyway most people can tell if you are in your forties or fifties or sixties. It is ONLY when age is made an issue here, or anywhere, you will get reactions. You have to be a friend to make one. Waving isn't enough

Plus if you have been reading the forum for awile,try to meet in person two recent posters with similar concerns. They are MCV2015 and Coralblue.

[dewilson58]

Originally Posted by Brendanyc

I am surprised by your "unwelcome wagon". Both my husband and I are in our early fifties. He 52 and me 51.... although I look significantly younger! LOLOL In any case, we have been welcomed by our local community (street) and I frequent the Bonita pool and everyone has been warm and welcoming. I have been told that there are other pools within the neighboring villages that are not as "warm and fuzzy" and do tend to be clicky but I have not gone to them so that is simply what others have told me. Sometimes when residents see people who look significantly younger they assume (wrongfully so) that one is visiting. I have found that introducing myself, telling others that I am a permanent resident, and then asking for advice (about anything... and believe me the list is long) goes a long way.
Don't ever let others change who you are. Keep waving and offering a daily hello. Sometimes people just need a "gentle" reminder. It is what makes the TV the absolute best place to retire!!!
CONSIDER THIS A WARM WELCOME!!!!!!

I too am sub-55 and look much younger than I am (not as young looking as Brendanyc). I see some grumps and some clicks at the pools..........but I don't think it's related to my age. With 100,000 people, there are going to be all types. The grumps and clicks just stand out more. What I have found are the neighborhoods are great places with great people. We love all our neighbors we have met. Than with friends, we have gone to other neighborhoods and found more great people. It just continues to grow.

OP............Don't let a few paint the picture of the village.

[rjm1cc]

I think you could find the same problem in other over 55 communities so I would not rule out the Villages on this. In my area the youngest is 56 and the oldest is almost 90. We all get along. However most of us moved in at the same time so it could be a little different when you did not "grow up" with your neighbors. Again I think you could find the problem in any community.

[cms36]

I'm 53, wife is 44. We are still visitors but every pool visit has been filled with hellos all around, long conversations.

[cquick]

I'm sorry you have felt unwanted. But I think it will improve. And I agree with some of the other posters that some people are just more outgoing than others. I like to wave at people when I am in my neighborhood, but not usually when I am driving on the main roads, just because it's so busy.

But I hope as you live here longer, you'll start to see the same folks hanging out at your local pool and rec center and the shuffleboard and pickleball courts. Then you'll feel more involved.

[justjim]

We have been in TV nine years. Part-time residents do have a more difficult time "fitting in" so to speak. We have been both full-time and part-time so speak from Experence. Also some neighborhoods are more friendly than others.

I would suggest that you join the local social club in your neighborhood even if you are part-time. Inviting the neighbors living close by for some beverages is another good idea.

Golfing is a good place to find friendly people too---so is pickelball.

[tomwed]

I wave to everybody because I can't remember anybody and don't want to offend.

[pbkmaine]

I second the idea of giving a party or having an open house. We have done that every time we have moved and it has helped to ease the process. If your neighborhood does not have a monthly card game or driveway party, start one. Try out any activities that look interesting. Try more than one.
I live in on a super friendly street, but a friend of mine in the same village says no one on her street talks to anyone else. It has been my experience that every group needs a "switchboard" - a person or people who make sure everyone keeps in touch. That person could be you, if you choose.
As far as age goes, I am 58. I have neighbors who range in age from 55 to 90. Once you get to know each other, it does not seem to make a difference. My 80-year-old next door neighbor can run rings around me.

[DonH57]

Originally Posted by Roaddog53

We call them "Walters" from Jeff Dunham's puppet. The looks on their faces are priceless. My wife looks very young for her age and she gets the look, even some remarks as we call it like "What are you doing here?" But I would think in general many people smile or wave. If not just move on and enjoy it here anyway. Don't let them bring your friendliness down to their level.

I think the very same thing every thing every time I meet a village curmudgeon. There's a Walter.

[sunnyatlast]

Originally Posted by Sassafrass67

We have been visiting in laws for just about 10 years and purchased a vacation home 3 years ago here in TV. I have been reading Talk of the Villages for advice on restaurants, landscapers etc. The issue that concerns me is that being in our late 40s and early 50s we are not made to feel welcome by our fellow Villagers. We wave, which I thought was the polite thing to do in America's friendliest home town, just to be ignored. When we go to the pool we are basically ignored. We are not your stereotypical "problem" adult children living here. We add to the economy, we maintain our home and you won't find us being obnoxious town squares. What exactly are we not doing correctly.

Since your entrance was preceded by 10 years of coming to stay with your in-laws, "their kids" is probably the impression formed by the neighbors and friends of your in-laws, and I'd suspect that is how you met people before buying a place. Depending on where you bought, that could well be the impression formed of you by the neighbors and people at the pool: "somebody's KIDS".

When I look at homes with newcomers/friends wanting to buy, I look at the county land records/appraiser website and see how many of the neighboring homes have been sold in the last 12-20 years if the homes are that age. If most have not sold to new owners in the last 4-5 years, I would look elsewhere for a neighborhood/street where a good number of homes have recently sold. I'd also go for a walk there, to talk with neighbors and see if there are neighborhood socials and a "switchboard" person who builds and keeps a neighborhood contact list.

We're not afraid to move somewhere else here in TV. It's a low-risk thing to do that can make a big difference for you.

[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by justjim

Also some neighborhoods are more friendly than others. I would suggest that you join the local social club in your neighborhood even if you are part-time. Inviting the neighbors living close by for some beverages is another good idea. Golfing is a good place to find friendly people too---so is pickelball.

Some adult pools are friendlier than others. So why not try different pools until you find some chatty people?
I don't think it's an age thing, there are lots of younger people living in The Villages.
Once you are full-time residents, you'll probably join a lot of activities and make friends there.
Inviting people on the street over for wine is a great idea.
Have you tried going to the Meet-N-Greets at Crispers on the third Friday of the month?
Don't be discouraged, it takes time to make good friends.

[jbdlfan]

Originally Posted by sunnyatlast

Since your entrance was preceded by 10 years of coming to stay with your in-laws, "their kids" is probably the impression formed by the neighbors and friends of your in-laws, and I'd suspect that is how you met people before buying a place. Depending on where you bought, that could well be the impression formed of you by the neighbors and people at the pool: "somebody's KIDS".

When I look at homes with newcomers/friends wanting to buy, I look at the county land records/appraiser website and see how many of the neighboring homes have been sold in the last 12-20 years if the homes are that age. If most have not sold to new owners in the last 4-5 years, I would look elsewhere for a neighborhood/street where a good number of homes have recently sold. I'd also go for a walk there, to talk with neighbors and see if there are neighborhood socials and a "switchboard" person who builds and keeps a neighborhood contact list.

We're not afraid to move somewhere else here in TV. It's a low-risk thing to do that can make a big difference for you.

There is some validity to this idea of how you are perceived by some as your parent's kids. We experienced some of the same stuff. We have found a great group of folks with like ages and interests. We come from similar backgrounds and experiences so it is very nice. Some will be rude but hey, it's every where.

[rubicon]

Originally Posted by Sassafrass67

We have been visiting in laws for just about 10 years and purchased a vacation home 3 years ago here in TV. I have been reading Talk of the Villages for advice on restaurants, landscapers etc. The issue that concerns me is that being in our late 40s and early 50s we are not made to feel welcome by our fellow Villagers. We wave, which I thought was the polite thing to do in America's friendliest home town, just to be ignored. When we go to the pool we are basically ignored. We are not your stereotypical "problem" adult children living here. We add to the economy, we maintain our home and you won't find us being obnoxious town squares. What exactly are we not doing correctly.

Dear Sassafrass67: don't take this too personally but quite frankly I don't trust anyone under 65