[Pturner]

Originally Posted by springfield

I assumed she would want me to move next time, I made the offer to just clear the obvious tension. Good grief, we have enough tension in this world. I think besides being told that it was her spot, it was the attitude that this was "their class" and they wanted to keep it small, so "outsiders" really aren't welcome. We have all been new people at some time, whether it was the new kid in school, or new to a town, or new to TV. I have so enjoyed meeting new people in the different classes. Usually people go out of their way to make you feel welcome. I try to at least smile when I see new people or say hello. One of my favorite sayings is, "there are no strangers here, only friends we haven't met." We never know when a small act of kindness could make someone's day.

Hi Springfield,
Thank you for posting this, as it gives others a chance to be forewarned/forearmed for a similar experience.

When I'm faced with the need for a quick response, my first thoughts are "do the right thing" and "first, do no harm". A funny or clever response might be ideal, but isn't necessary if one sticks to these two principles.

Yielding the spot fails on both counts. It is harmful to the community to enable a bully. In my mind-- unless you are in danger-- it is always wrong to enable a bully. Not letting the bully prevail is "the right thing to do" because you help enforce fair-play not just for yourself but for others. Another way to look at this is, "what if everybody responded as I did?" If everybody enabled the bully, (s)he will continue to run roughshod over people, to the detriment of not just you but everyone else. If everyone failed to yield the spot to the bully, the entire community would win! Therefore, it's the right answer.

Base your action on these principles and not yielding the spot to the bully becomes a no brainer. Now, coming up with a funny comeback or one that diffuses the situation would be nice too, but is not necessary. You've done no harm and done the right thing, one that would work great if everyone responded the same way.

That said, I probably would have laughed and said, "Cool! May I kindly borrow your 'Rules Don't Apply to Me' license. I actually had to get here early for this spot!... By the way, my name is ..., Nice to meet you."

If the person response with his/her name, change the subject to a pleasant chat.

[cquick]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

You are right of course. But then I will have ruined the whole time there thinking about it and being all annoyed and wondering how else I could have handled it. WHY do people do stuff like that????

Yup, WHY do people do stuff like that.....is the biggest question

[ilovetv]

Originally Posted by cquick

Yup, WHY do people do stuff like that.....is the biggest question

They do it because they are pushy and they like feeling "important" by pushing other people around.

Has anyone ever told the instructor of this problem, so that the instructor makes an announcement saying "the rule is first come, first served......nobody gets priority seating"?

It sounds like more classes should be using a "take a number" and wait in line at the door, in that order, system.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by ilovetv

They do it because they are pushy and they like feeling "important" by pushing other people around.

Has anyone ever told the instructor of this problem, so that the instructor makes an announcement saying "the rule is first come, first served......nobody gets priority seating"?

It sounds like more classes should be using a "take a number" and wait in line at the door, in that order, system.

In a "Walk off the pounds" class...no instructor, just a tape...but I suppose you could ask the person who starts the tape to make that announcement.

Everyone should read PTurner's post above. I know that I will now see that giving in just makes it harder for other people. I will just stand my ground in a polite sort of way while my blood pressure goes up.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by Pturner

Hi Springfield,
Thank you for posting this, as it gives others a chance to be forewarned/forearmed for a similar experience.

When I'm faced with the need for a quick response, my first thoughts are "do the right thing" and "first, do no harm". A funny or clever response might be ideal, but isn't necessary if one sticks to these two principles.

Yielding the spot fails on both counts. It is harmful to the community to enable a bully. In my mind-- unless you are in danger-- it is always wrong to enable a bully. Not letting the bully prevail is "the right thing to do" because you help enforce fair-play not just for yourself but for others. Another way to look at this is, "what if everybody responded as I did?" If everybody enabled the bully, (s)he will continue to run roughshod over people, to the detriment of not just you but everyone else. If everyone failed to yield the spot to the bully, the entire community would win! Therefore, it's the right answer.

Base your action on these principles and not yielding the spot to the bully becomes a no brainer. Now, coming up with a funny comeback or one that diffuses the situation would be nice too, but is not necessary. You've done no harm and done the right thing, one that would work great if everyone responded the same way.

That said, I probably would have laughed and said, "Cool! May I kindly borrow your 'Rules Don't Apply to Me' license. I actually had to get here early for this spot!... By the way, my name is ..., Nice to meet you."

If the person response with his/her name, change the subject to a pleasant chat.

bump

[paulandjean]

Take a number? Tell the front desk? Come on this is not third grade. Handle this yourself. Just say No. Its not that hard. I always feel the least said is the best way in these situations. Just say No

[runnermi]

As a future Villager, this whole thread bothers me. It seems like there is a real attitude toward those who are snowflakes, snow birds, renters, new Villagers. Have people forgotten that at one point they were the new kid on the blocK? Or that at one point, they rented?

Let me live here but you stay out, stay home, don't move to MY neighborhood, etc. I mean really, "It is THEIR pool????" Are you kidding me? Unless the pool is in your backyard, it isn't yours. Get over it or I might just pee in "YOUR" pool for spite.

Maybe I need to look for another place to live where I would be welcomed? I realize that not everyone is like that. I can get a pretty good sense of who I would like to meet and who I would avoid just by reading comments. I also realize that people are people no matter where you live.

I'm just saying.....

[mac9]

Oh, dear Gracie, NEVER let other people dictate how your day will be! You are too sweet to have that happen. When other people begin their first conversation with you by being rude, THEY have set the standard for the conversation. You don't have to be rude back at them, but you must be firm and convincing that they do not have control over you or your day! It's a shame that you had to leave an art class because of others' rudeness. I have not seen your art, but know others who have seen and enjoyed it. Just continue to be your "Gracie" self.

[Lou and Carolyn C.]

My husband is a paying member of "Gold's Gym", he enjoys the "Spinning Classes", well his first or second time in class he got there early and choice a cycle and had it all adjusted to his liking, when another participate came up to him and said "I'm sorry sir but I had that cycle/bike reserved", well unbeknownst to him there is a clipboard at the front desk where a person(s) can reserve a bike/cycle, I'm sure this is all legal and proper, however it's just another way of encouraging the "entitlement" attitude of this world we live in, whatever happen to "first come, first served". He came home and told me about it and was kind of joking about it, but I could tell he felt like he had done something wrong and committed a crime against this person, like he trespassed on "their property", oh well, "just another country heard from".

[Doodlegirl]

My hearing impaired friend taught me to sign:

What are you trying to tell me?
Works for me every time.

[swimdawg]

Originally Posted by Doodlegirl

My hearing impaired friend taught me to sign:

What are you trying to tell me?
Works for me every time.

Now we're talkin'...
............I mean signin'

Love this answer!

[dillywho]

Originally Posted by Lou and Carolyn C.

My husband is a paying member of "Gold's Gym", he enjoys the "Spinning Classes", well his first or second time in class he got there early and choice a cycle and had it all adjusted to his liking, when another participate came up to him and said "I'm sorry sir but I had that cycle/bike reserved", well unbeknownst to him there is a clipboard at the front desk where a person(s) can reserve a bike/cycle, I'm sure this is all legal and proper, however it's just another way of encouraging the "entitlement" attitude of this world we live in, whatever happen to "first come, first served". He came home and told me about it and was kind of joking about it, but I could tell he felt like he had done something wrong and committed a crime against this person, like he trespassed on "their property", oh well, "just another country heard from".

Was it actually a "reserved" list or just a sign in sheet for the next available when all were busy? That's done here during peak times and the people just use something else until that particular piece of equipment is available.

[Lou and Carolyn C.]

A reserve list.

[KathieI]

Originally Posted by Larry Wilson

Its all about overcrowding. We have been here long enough to see the personality of this place change. Once everybody exchanged name cards, made friends with everybody, and there was enough parking spaces, chairs, exercise spots, dancing floor room to dance etc.etc.etc.
Then the building went on steroids and all that changed. I know this will get the "everything is perfect" posters to attack me but it is just too overcrowded here in the winter.
About 4 years ago when half of my wife's exercise class was turned away all winter because not enough spots, she stated her own class.(mainly to know she would have a place on stage!) Now her class is turning people away.
It is rough out there and people do resent snowbirds but...its the nature of the animal world to fight if there is overcrowding.
Once again," the all is is perfect" crowd will hate to hear this but the other smaller developments all around us are much friendlier and none of this tension. When you move to Del Webb or Stonecrest it is a more peaceful existence. It is also true is they come here for our entertainment and restaurants.
So save the attacks because I still live here for the level of sports but my wife would move in a minute. We always talk about the good old days before this place was overcrowded.
Everyone have a great day and I mean it. We are all lucky to be out of the northern winters.

I totally agree, Larry, and a bunch of friends have been talking about this lately. I remember when I first started to visit TV, people always waved to you - so much that your arm got tired from waving back... I remember giving out name cards to keep connecting with new people, I remember everyone walking around with a smile, not a frown, and with their heads up not looking down. Things have really changed here, we're not sure why, but we're assuming its the overcrowdedness (such a word?) and lack of additional roads and facilities to accommodate so many people. Whatever it is, I'm not looking forward to this winter with the awful crowds in restaurants and on the roads. This makes me extremely sad because I also loved this paradise, but unfortunately, I'm not feeling like its a paradise any longer. SAD!

[duffysmom]

I've lived here for over three years and still feel that TV is friendly.
I thank God every morning for the privilege of living here. In the past
we've lived in resort areas and learned to time our outings so that we
avoid crowds during prime time. Everything I want or need is only a cart ride away and that includes international art instructors. When I read the negative comments I wonder if we live in the same community; as a senior I've learned that life is what you make it. Because we feel so blessed we want to convey to wannabes that there are people here who love their life here but aren't as vocal as the nay sayers.