[Sidney Lanier]

Originally Posted by efrahin

From what I have seen, the management of TV has done a terrific job. Wait for what the bureaucracy is going to do when the owners take control of the management. It is going to be caos and much more expensive than what it's now.

Could you please explain what you mean? I'm not sure I understand. Thanks!

[renielarson]

I see a common thread here....being attacked and negativity

Could it be that when our opinion is challenged it is regarded as negative? Stop and think about that. We are happy as can be when all agree with us...but....when others disagree....watch out! We refuse to respect their opinions although they are opposite of oiurs. WE WANT EVERYONE TO AGREE WITH US!

Negativity results when we choose to debate our feelings vs. someone else's feelings that are opposed to ours. When the debate results in a stalmate, then we use harsh words in our defense. It's a two way street. And...it's human nature to protect ourselves.

Some people have opinions that are not with the majority. I don't understand why they feel the need to push the envelope when they know they are in the minority and when others have advised them to back off. Then they go whining and crying and pm-ing everyone to rally behind them when they receive negative posts.

If you can't stand the heat, then get out of the fire....or shut your mouth!

[chelsea24]

Tell us how you really feel Bright! LOL :joke:

But, I agree. Someone might post something negative about The Villages, the developer or whatever. You read one, let it go by, read another, let it go by and then another and another and finally when you disagree or give your perspective, they just can't take it.

I can never understand why some people, when disagreed with, think they're being personally attacked. I find it to be a strange phenomenon. Even in political. I honestly never feel that way. I feel people get emotional (I know I do) and might disagree in a strong way, but I really don't take it personally. I've never lost one moment's sleep or cried or whined about being disagreed with.

And again, just my opinion, but the term "gang up" is silly because all it really means is that more than one person disagreed with the poster.

It is my honest belief that the way people handle opposition speaks volumes about a person's character. And people that are afraid to post -- afraid! -- baffle me completely.

[mejahu]

Bright I see it as more of an attack and defend system of communication leading to a downward spiral. Have any personal attacks even happened seems to be in doubt by some and not by others. If it is mean spirited and directed at an individual I recognize it as a personal attack. If that is someone's idea of good clean fun, that is their choice. If several people seem to be directing negative comments toward one, or more individual over and over again it doesn't look good and it doesn't look friendly. How does it make that person feel? Or those who are reading along just trying to get a feel for the community and for TOTV? If it is demeaning to an individual is it not a personal attack?

[Lil Dancer]

Originally Posted by mejahu

If several people seem to be directing negative comments toward one, or more individual over and over again it doesn't look good and it doesn't look friendly. How does it make that person feel? Or those who are reading along just trying to get a feel for the community and for TOTV? If it is demeaning to an individual is it not a personal attack?

Exactly. I've read some of the negative comments towards one poster, and believe me, they were negative, and even though I've never met any of you personally, I was very uncomfortable. I felt that if those people really wanted to vent at that poster they should have done it privately. As far as the person wanting to keep posting their opinion even though it may be in the "perceived" minority, that's the point. The poster is hoping he or she is not in the minority, and is looking for support from the many members that don't regularly post,to show that yes, other people agree with me. Its probably just human nature, as Bright says, to have everyone agree with you.

[graciegirl]

I believe that people either or born with or develop a certain personality that either feels uncomfortable with or invites confrontations. I think that some have a cycle of parry and thrust and then run. You can easily see it in small children who when you are on the phone say, Mommy, Mommy and then cry and then push a vase off or throw something or do something negative. That is quite normal but some people carry the need to push the envelope and get "peoples goat" well into adult hood. Most of us know when to stop and walk away. Some people don't.

[lady Jane]

Chelsea while I cannot comment on why someone would be "afraid" to post, you can find a very good example of why someone would choose not to post here just by reading the last line of Brightspot's last post. "shut your mouth" ????????? Oh that is classy. I doubt many people would feel welcome after reading that comment. It seems evident to me that many would be offended by such words. While I am not afraid, I do choose not to post here again since this kind of post does not promote the open minded exchange of ideas I was looking for. Although with a little more common courtesy and less tolerance of posts without it, it could be a great one.

[billethkid]

Once again the old 80-20 is kicking in.
The news we watch every day consistently dwells on the negative.
TV residents if given a chance to redo their decision to come here....I venture to say 90+% would do so, but as is the usual, the not so popular aspects get the attention. And the very, VERY small % that just plain don't like it here, will not like it any where.

Another aspect of posting is that many are aggressive in their approach as they feel safe to do so in a sort of protected environment...like having to deal with the key board VS looking in the eyes of the opposition. Most will be very different in person....for the most part that is human nature....then there are those like me....what you see and hear is what you get...good, bad, right or wrong.
I much prefer to deal with those who stand up for what they believe...then an appreciation is had for a given position. The propensity to be right or agreed with is also natural. How ever over time, when one communicates, regularly, it becomes very easy...actually second nature....to let pass or even ignore that which doesn't deserve too much thought.....

TV is a great place to live....the majority backs it up.
TOTV is a great forum.....the minority (participants) in this case back it up.....the majority would to if they were so inclined.

I personally don't spend too much time on minority (not race!!!) reports. Although I did learn a long time ago to not dismiss one who disagrees as there are times when they are the only one right in the room!!!!

Doncha just love the active post subjects?!?!?!

BTK

[samhass]

BTK said "Although I did learn a long time ago to not dismiss one who disagrees as there are times when they are the only one right in the room!!!!"

Well said!! Without dissent, we become stale and possibly wrong.

As for Bright's comment "Shut your mouth", you have to know Bright. In person you would know she was being sassy and funny. This is a woman that would far rather hug you than be rude to you. She is generous, funny and kind. We all tease each other so much. I can see her throwing her hip out and perching a hand on it and saucily saying "Girl, shut your mouth" to me in reply to something I had said to her.

[Lil Dancer]

That's what I meant when I said we have communication problems because people are not meeting face to face. Things easily get distorted way out of proportion, including, I'm sure, things that one poster said that everyone got riled up about as being negative. And I like BTK's comment about those who disagree may be the only ones right in the room. I'm just asking everyone to be a little more open minded and accepting of people, even if they aren't necessarily "happpy, and gay, and rah, rah, rah,the Villages", etc. I think there is a place for everyone in these forums.

[efrahin]

I dont know how this trend started, so far I have not noticed any uncivilized comments. Who has started all of this nonsense of negative comments, etc. ????

[samhass]

Gay??Gay?? Did you say gay??? I love gay people. Got a problem with that?? 1rnfl 1rnfl 1rnfl
Just that easily someone says something and someone else jumps all over them precisely because we can't read their faces and expressions online. You've said it, Red has said it and we all know it. We hope that we post and everyone takes it the right way but that doesn't happen. If I go in political, I can become incensed by some of the remarks made by people. The funny thing is, I know some of them in real life and admire/like them so I know how to take what they say. If they were unknown to me, I might never want to meet them based on what they posted. That's a shame.

[Boomer]

I had not looked at this thread, and now that I have, I just have to get in it. I have glanced through the whole thing and it looks darned civilized to me. A little discussion. A little back and forth. Unless I missed something totally.

That thing keeps coming up around here about not wanting to post. If you look over there under my name, you will see that I have managed to write 14 buzillion, 892 guzillion posts. There was an initial reason why I gave myself the last name BeBack. It had to do with the plan to be back to TV at some point. Now, it seems to also apply to the obvious fact that I cannot seem to STOP posting. (Although now, I secretly want to change my name to just Boomer. You know, like Cher. I think the BeBack part has become way too obvious.)

My number of posts has surprised me a lot. When I check in here, I seldom know if or what I could end up writing. It is so nice not to have a plan for the first time in my life. So I circle and I often find myself landing somewhere and I start typing away. And when I talk about the computer in the kitchen -- oh yeah -- it's a problem -- too easy to check in. I come here often. Just for a few minutes(?) at a time. But nobody has ever been mean to me on here. (Well one time I had to make a little face at somebody, but considering my 14 buzillion, 892 guzillion posts that I can't seem to stop writing, I would say that is a pretty daggone nice percentage.)

And I have asked some questions from time to time. And I always get help. There are nice people here.

There is a little irony in this. When I arrived here last fall, I was absolutely certain that I would never post. There is something about putting it out there that took some real getting used to for me. I have never been on a board. I kept thinking there had to be that real internet underbelly on here somewhere. But I truly have never seen it. The gatekeepers do a good job around here, from what I can see.

And the people who write stuff here say things well. And even when they may beat each other up a little, ever so gently, from what I have seen, TOTVers just seem really decent. And if that were not so, I would have been history a long time ago. And the rest of you would have been history, too. You are not the kind to hang around some nasty operation. (Sometimes Boomer knows stuff.)

And JohnN, please tell Mrs. JohnN that I was once absolutely terrified to post anything. It took me awhile. But tell her that I also completely understand wanting to stay private. There are things that I just cannot put out there. But I did manage to go from the Midwest, to Ohio, to Cincinnati. And that took me forever. So who knows. Someday, you may all tune in and there will be a video of Boomer dancing on a table or something. It has indeed been a process.

So anyway, TOTVers, thanks, and overall, this one sure works.

Boomer

[chelsea24]

Originally Posted by Lil Dancer

That's what I meant when I said we have communication problems because people are not meeting face to face. Things easily get distorted way out of proportion, including, I'm sure, things that one poster said that everyone got riled up about as being negative. And I like BTK's comment about those who disagree may be the only ones right in the room. I'm just asking everyone to be a little more open minded and accepting of people, even if they aren't necessarily "happpy, and gay, and rah, rah, rah,the Villages", etc. I think there is a place for everyone in these forums.

wav Lil Dancer. I know the poster you're referring to and I have met her face to face on several occasions. On the first two occasions she seemed all right albeit a little agitated. On the last occasion, she was down right rude. I gave her a compliment and she turned it into a slam. So, I washed my hands of her. As far as her posts go, I believe I've already stated that I would not read them anymore. TV may not be perfect, but either are the posters. It is my opinion that she has a personality problem that I do not have the time or inclination to deal with. I'm not sure you're getting the full story from her, just one sided pm's.

So, again, I agree to disagree.

As for Bright, she is a dear friend and I completely agree with Sam. She is a down to earth, honey of a person that would do anything for you.

I have never made up my mind on any person or thing because of another's experience. I only go by my own.

[mejahu]

Did anyone see Vantage Point? No, I'm not changing the subject to movies. It sure got tiresome to see the same part of the movie over and over again but the point was that it looked totally different from each vantage point. To a person who feels excluded it feels like an attack to a person who thinks a "negative" was posted it seems like defending a point of view or an idea. Some people saw negative posts directed at a certain person. Some people say that's OK. It makes TV seem to "exclude" rather than "include". It can lead to a "sometimes contageous bad attitude". It's hard work to express a negative thought in a positive way and I think perhaps that is how the situation being discussed got started. Some threads were removed so I guess there was a good reason for that. Did anyone else have that vantage point?