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  #16  
Old 01-10-2015, 07:29 AM
senior citizen senior citizen is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eweissenbach View Post
over the last four years and 3443 posts! I've made several virtual friends and a few real life friends here. It has been fun for most of the five years, but not so much lately. I will check in from time to time, but for the most part I am going to spend my time with other interests. Danke, und Auf wiedersehen freundes!


Your wisdom will be missed; enjoy your sabbatical or hiatus.


Return when you are refreshed ; when the bullying or negativity is a distant memory.


Many times when a person initiates a difficult attitude, they are trying to trigger a response from you. When we react, we are actually giving them what they want. To stop the cycle of negative back & forth; dont bother responding.


Negative people can be a source of energy drain.


Deeply unhappy people will want to bring you down emotionally, so that they are not down there alone. Be aware of this.


Unless you have a lot of time on your hands and do not mind the energy drain, either develop a thick skin, or else, cut them off.


Cut them out by avoiding interactions with them as much as possible. Remember that you have the choice to commit to being surrounded by people who have the qualities you admire: optimistic, positive, peaceful and encouraging people.


I always can see both sides of every issue.....there is no "one way or the highway".......each person is coming from a totally different background, different perspective & different world view. Tolerance is a virtue.


The ones who bullied me over quite inconsequential things, like picking on my state, or perhaps deciding to be a snowbird rather than full time, are no longer a bother........they were a very very very small group, amongst the larger group of truly kindhearted ,magnanimous & helpful people on this forum.


For some people, it takes longer to reach a life changing conclusion.
Others, can change their lifestyle at the drop of a hat.


So, return when you are refreshed; you will be welcomed back by those who care.


The bullies will find another target when you are gone.


I just chalk it up to the fact that some are still back in Jr. High or Middle School as it is called today.......picking on the good ones, the kind ones, those on a quest for knowledge who perhaps take a bit longer at it than the ones who don't have to consider their long time marriage partner or family dynamics........or giving up the family home which has so many memories (or giving it up at a less than optimal return).


Also keep in mind, that at our age, 70 plus, or even younger, many are in the beginning stages of Alzheimers or dementia when belligerence is so prevalent (even their own families do not recognize their personality changes at first)........but someone who is constantly ticked off by another viewpoint or just has a belligerent nature.......might be suffering on the inside with no other way to express it than to "vent" at a stranger, a faceless person on the computer screen.


God Speed. Enjoy your sabbatical.


Danke, und Auf wiedersehen


I should learn some German as now we have six grandchildren.......with roots back to Bavaria & also Baden Baden Germany.

  #17  
Old 01-10-2015, 12:16 PM
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eweissenbach eweissenbach is offline
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Thanks for the kind words and PMs. I never have felt "bullied", and have always felt I could take it as well as dish it out. The problem, in my view, became the lack of tolerance and vitriolic reactions to reasonably stated points of view that differed from some peoples strongly held opinions. I decided to get away from it because not only did I not like some peoples attitudes, I didn't care for my own reactions at times. I look in from time to time but simply don't want to engage in the devisiveness at this time.
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  #18  
Old 01-10-2015, 01:48 PM
shcisamax shcisamax is offline
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And, that, my friends is what hitting the nail on the head looks like.
  #19  
Old 01-10-2015, 02:35 PM
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graciegirl graciegirl is offline
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When you engage in debates over things that mean a lot to you, you are bound to stir emotions, not all positive. I understand what Ed is saying.

I feel that way myself. I think that turning 75 this year was a life changing event. Up until now I have tried to hold back and not say things that were in direct conflict with another's ideas, but something makes me want to debate things and say things I have kept to myself for a long time.

Politics seem to gain importance as we age. I never was this interested before in my life in how things were managed and decided on and how it affected me and others. I never thought about how what I have done, and we have done as a couple make up a philosophy of life. I never really had time to evaluate how others looked at things, and chose to deal with things. I was too involved in the business of living, raising children, teaching school and then running my small business and trying to keep up with a husband who worked very hard and very long hours.

I suddenly found when I had time to take stock of what we were doing and how we were living that I believed certain things about how things are done and how I thought they should be done.

When someone looked at things entirely differently, or questioned the value I put on certain things, I got all mad.

And that is where a lot of fights start on here. Here in The Villages, we are made up of a LOT of strong individuals and a lot of, in fact a majority of traditional thinkers.

So you have a great petri dish for some hot debates. I don't think they are personal, because we really don't know many people that well or have had relationships with them long enough for it to be personal..

We have to be who we are. And most of us are good people. Stubborn, opinionated, absolutely certain we are right...people.
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  #20  
Old 01-10-2015, 02:46 PM
onslowe onslowe is offline
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Gracie, What a thoughtful, honest post which indeed captures many of those making up our "Village people." I wish I had written it.
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