[jblum315]

It was competition with my best friend that dd it for me. I knew one of us was going to graduate first in class and I was determined it would be me. It was.

[OldManTime]

My Hot Rod, Girls, Football, Being a Lifeguard at the Town Lake, Girls, Girls & Girls

[ilovetv]

It's having a passion for something....any skill.....whether it is tinkering with a used car you match funds to buy with him, or a sport, or a musical instrument or vocal group, garage band, woodworking, science lab, raising cattle and showing them at the county fair, hairstyling or barbering, hunting, debate......ANYTHING that the person can excel in.

This is where I disagree with middle schools comprised of 1500 or more students. The kids become anonymous and they get little guidance by somebody who actually knows them and what sparks their interest. And then there's the aspect of a caring faculty and guidance staff.

And most of what I've seen is guidance toward college prep only, when we all know there are now too many new college grads who cannot get jobs in their degree area and are working as servers and retail clerks and living at home. While I believe a solid liberal arts curriculum is key to a solid classical education, I believe the kids need vocational-technical education, too!! I have used BOTH types of education. One complements the other in having more possibilities for a job and career.

There are smaller, rural high schools that run circles around the big suburban ones that ignore vocational-technical education and pump the top 100 college prep students to hold up the IMAGE of the high school by taking lots of AP courses etc. (which by the way, leave many students floundering when they get into a real "college-level" course they've been placed in).

[justjim]

Originally Posted by KARENNN

I think the parents should ask to review any SAT scores or intelligence tests that he has taken in the past (his guidance counselor should have). If he scored well on those, you may be right that he just needs motivation. If his scores were low, he may need help with school work (tutoring). The parents just need to do some research so they know how to start helping.

Very good advice and a common sense approach.

[redwitch]

Sometimes the promise of a reward works better than a punishment. I told my daughter she had to have a B average to get a driver's license at age 16; an A average to get a car. It didn't work for her (she's very much a NOW child). Sometimes incentives work.

[mac9]

What motivated me in high school was my parents' attitude. Not once did they try to be my friend. They were always the authoritarian figures. I was told what was expected of me and that less would not be tolerated. I went on to receive a BA and an MA. Had a great career and always thanked them for the confidence that was instilled in me.

[TrudyM]

Originally Posted by njbchbum

perhaps one day he will design video games and other applications...if he is given encouragement rather than criticism.

Given his test scores are good then the prospect of designing video games might be an incentive. We pointed out that to my son that unless he got great grades in math and developed his logic skills he wouldn't make it in game design that it was very tough and competitve. Also pointed out that being an electrician or plumber is a good alternative. Watching work being done on the house he quickly decided he would rather study hard than do anything manual.
He started working on his Spanish when I pointed out that he didn't like it when his cousins talked about him in another language (Hawaiian) and he didn't know what they were saying and that 15% of people in the US speak Spanish.

What motivated me personally was trying to prove I wasn't stupid just because I had trouble with some things.(Dyslexia). The other thing that we were lucky with was that we moved when my son was in 7th grade and the kids in the new neighborhood all had strict parents who made them study, so it was more the norm.

[Taltarzac725]

Originally Posted by RayinPenn

Scenario:
-9th Grade Boy
-Hooked on the video games
-75 on last spanish exam...does very well when he studies
-C on science - (Lab partner, friend, great kid but academically challenged - doesnt help). I said I dont care how but find a way to get it done...

The wife learned of the spanish quiz via the online Highschool reporting..Was asked do you have spanish to study" Answer No? Wife 'fuming'.

Present Status: All electronics taken away

Yes I know its not the end of the world but Ive been throught that college choice process with the older one and good grades provide choices...

Thoughts?

I thought this was a good article. Motivating Teenage Boys to Find Vision & Purpose - Santa Rosa, Petaluma, Rohnert Park & Sonoma County

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by Taltarzac725

I thought this was a good article. Motivating Teenage Boys to Find Vision & Purpose - Santa Rosa, Petaluma, Rohnert Park & Sonoma County

I thought this article was very good, Tal.

Especially the part about using his passions. With our daughter we willingly hosted a lot of parties and invited some of the other party goers parents to help us chaperone. We had a nice social gathering upstairs and we took turns going down stairs with snacks and drinks.

Peer group acceptance is key.

[Happinow]

I was not motivated by much in HS. I never liked school and found it very difficult just getting out of bed at 6:45 to get to,school. I'm not an early riser. I didn't go to college but took a few outside trade courses. I don't regret my choices for a moment. I became a successful person and life is good. My daughter was the same way. I had to push her through school and she flunked out of college. She went to a private school to become a dental assistant and now has a great job in North Carolina. It was difficult watching her just glide by and not care. So, I think people just have to find their own way and do,what suits them. These days it's very difficult for kids because the electronic world may not be such a blessing but more of a distraction. This boy will eventually find his way and do what's best for him. It is difficult to watch people you care about get lost early in the game. Hang in there as it will be a long road. But, in the end he will find his way.

[army one]

My motivation came from a board of education applied to my backside. Unfortunately I needed a second application before I decided to take high school seriously.

[Patty55]

Originally Posted by RayinPenn

Scenario:
-9th Grade Boy
-Hooked on the video games
-75 on last spanish exam...does very well when he studies
-C on science - (Lab partner, friend, great kid but academically challenged - doesnt help). I said I dont care how but find a way to get it done...

The wife learned of the spanish quiz via the online Highschool reporting..Was asked do you have spanish to study" Answer No? Wife 'fuming'.

Present Status: All electronics taken away

Yes I know its not the end of the world but Ive been throught that college choice process with the older one and good grades provide choices...

Thoughts?

Did you ever think that maybe this child is just AVERAGE.

[jebartle]

The Cheerleaders!....

[JP]

What motivated me was the desire to get out of being poor. It sucked and was embarrassing.

Too many kids today are given too much. They don't know what it is like to not have a good life and there is no punishment.

After all, aren't all the kids today winners? That is what the schools and the parents tell them and then when they get out in the real world well that's when reality can set in and they find out they are not winners after all.

I agree with Patti too. Not everyone is above average or more. There are a lot more average people out there than most people want to admit.

[tucson]

Originally Posted by JP

What motivated me was the desire to get out of being poor. It sucked and was embarrassing.

Too many kids today are given too much. They don't know what it is like to not have a good life and there is no punishment.

After all, aren't all the kids today winners? That is what the schools and the parents tell them and then when they get out in the real world well that's when reality can set in and they find out they are not winners after all.

I agree with Patti too. Not everyone is above average or more. There are a lot more average people out there than most people want to admit.

I agree, that was also my motivation in H.S. My parents taught us at a very young age to save $$ (we started at ages 8 w/putting $ from birthays,Christmas, picking berries for 5 cents a box in the summer,babysitting, shoveling driveways for the neighbors, etc,etc) My mother also taught her 12 children to read at a very young age,she always said if you know how to read you can do anthing ). At age 22 I opened my 1st business and at 21 bought my 1st house. My parents taught us the value of a dollar, and didn't have to give us any allowance $$,(btw we all had to give my parents 1/3 of our small pay checks while we were still living at home) We all worked very hard for everything we bought. It is SO different from today's values!! Alot of people thought that I was "set up" by someone when I opened my 1st business when I was 22, they couldn't believe that I did it on my own, sad.... but b/c I did motivate myself from getting set free from a poverty mentality I appreciated everything I accomplished. :-)