Why do we become so intolerant as we age?

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  #16  
Old 02-07-2011, 12:08 PM
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You are a caring person, Red and an asset to TOTV, your friends, your family, The Villages...
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  #17  
Old 02-07-2011, 12:17 PM
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I think the road to rudeness starts out at an early age. As we get older we get bolder and maybe think we can push people around a little. Those people we push usually are waiters, waitresses, grocery store cashiers, airline ticket agents, etc.
I have, on occasion and in the past, been rude. I have also been the victim of rudeness. Some of the same people I mention above can be rude. When they are I simply say" are you always this churlish or have I done something to offend you?". Another response is give them a big smile and thank them for their help and wish them a nice day.
As to my rudeness, I have learned to hold my tongue. Sometimes dealing with a
rep on the phone after a long list of robotic menu selections I tend to be a little testy. I explain to the rep I may be frustrated but I am sure he/she can solve my problem.
I also believe rudeness breeds rudeness. That is borne out on this forum.
  #18  
Old 02-07-2011, 12:24 PM
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Default Redwitch, this was a great thread

"atta girl" for giving us all thoughts to ponder....I would LOVE for the political forum to read this....We are all just mere mortals with a great opportunity to make our golden years the BEST
  #19  
Old 02-07-2011, 12:29 PM
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I hope they are forgetting their manors as they get older. But then maybe they never had them. I agree with the idea behind your post that people should be civil to each other and enjoy different points of view.
The only reason I can see a change in what we say as we age is that we are more financially independent. For example you take a part time job because you want to be out meeting people and not that you need the money. Then you boss tells you that you have to do ABC in your job and you think that is unprofessional. At this stage of live you can politely tell the boss why you disagree and if you can not resolve then you can simply give notice and resign. Still no need for name calling etc.
  #20  
Old 02-07-2011, 12:54 PM
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Always enjoy your posts Red as well as Gracie's. You are both sensitive to others and "down to earth".

My philosophy has always been to treat others as I would like to be treated, with patience, kindness, understanding and a smile. That's not to say that I have never been tested but it has made my life enjoyable.
  #21  
Old 02-07-2011, 02:11 PM
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Default Not Just the villages - its the times

I think that there may be as many causes for rudeness as there are people:
A main one - I agree with downeaster prejudice (and any assumption of superiority based on casual contact is a form of prejudice) starts early and hate is like a cancer it grows and feeds itself, and those infected in youth can be completely consumed by the time they reach village age. My mama use to say people rarely change they just get more so..
It is not just the villages in the past couple of years people seem to have gotten rude or at the least self-absorbed to the point of rudeness.
I think a possible cause is fear and frustration; that leads to an overall grumpy bad tempered state that I am seeing allot of in the past couple of years. The world is changing so fast and people feel that nothing is safe, sure or predictable. This is in my opinion creating a nervous, scared, feeling in allot of people. They see pensions go away, the value of what they worked hard for diminish. I havent met anyone who feels that their job is secure, not even those at the top of their profession earning good money. If it isnt affecting them directly, it probably has some close friend or family member. I believe it is this who knows what tomorrow will bring nothing is for sure feeling that is affecting a lot of people at the core. When people are scared they get defensive and mean. They think -It isnt my fault I did everything right so it must be someone elses fault- that someone else being anyone they dont identify with.

Maybe the Seattle drizzle is just making me maudlin.
  #22  
Old 02-07-2011, 03:21 PM
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TrudyM,

I have to agree with your Mama.

"My mama use to say people rarely change they just get more so.."

I really don't think people "become" rude, they were always rude.
Age simply gives them license to be more so.
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  #23  
Old 02-07-2011, 03:31 PM
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It's not the rudeness per se that bothers me. It's the absolute lack of tolerance for those that think, feel or act differently. I really don't get why it is that way. It would seem that it would be the exact opposite -- the older we get, the more accepting of others we get -- rather than the way it is.

Are we so afraid of change as we age? It is really because we've seen it happen over and over? I don't know. I just know that calling someone a name because they disagree with you is wrong. When you get upset because someone's nerves made them forget a line in a song just doesn't feel right to me. There just have been a lot of mean-spirited replies lately -- both here and in real life.

I just hope and pray I never get that way -- heck, I'm bad enough in my own way without having age make me worse.
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  #24  
Old 02-07-2011, 03:53 PM
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Default Age is merely a point in time....not an excuse for or reason

to be given for being rude.
As has been said already it is not a function of age.
And once again as usual the majority that are not rude are scooped up in the always generalized category.
Reality? Some people are rude...most are not....some of those rude people are "old(er)"....most elders are not!

How about the rudeness of SOME younger people? I personally believe they far out number the some older people.....since they start out with a base persona of believing rude = cool....which it does not.

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  #25  
Old 02-07-2011, 03:59 PM
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I think that a person is born with a certain personality. A person born truly shy never completely feels 100 percent comfortable in a social situation.

I think that some people are born seeing the glass half empty and I would like for them to keep away from me.

Life is pretty equal in dealing out trials and tribulations, worries and heartbreaks and some people can continue after they have been hit with them better than others.

I do feel if you were blessed with parents who taught you nice manners and politeness is just learning to think of others first and behave kindly, if you were taught that, than you have learned to hold your tongue and learned that people are not interested in you for very long if you are dour and grumpy and judgmental and picky and out for a fight all of the time.

But...sometimes you just have to get a group of girls together and beat the livin' crap outa somebody. It works for me.

Last edited by graciegirl; 02-07-2011 at 04:45 PM.
  #26  
Old 02-07-2011, 04:49 PM
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Environment....the people we grow up with is where we learn or manners or lack there-of. There "might" be an attitude also of entitlement...or a "me first" mentality and "I don't want you to get more than me!" I believe it has to do with the character of a person. Kindness is the opposite and if you have it, it will flow out of you.
Just my opinion!!!
As someone else stated here...my mother also used to tell us kids that our "negative" behaviors will just grow worse with age so be aware of that and nip it in the bud now while you're young and "CULTIVATE" a better attitude or behavior!! It is so true. For instance I see in the elderly sometimes "outspokedness"...and some of that comes from NOT having a "filture" (another person whose close) who might put their hand out and say "that isn't appropriate". I see grown people who may not quite be elderly expressing themselves in ways that to me is totally embarrassing....profanity, gestures, abruptness and worse. It really reminds me of toddlers in a nursery except maybe they don't yet know how to swear but hitting and screaming and plopping on the floor would be a reflection of this. Adults that react in this manner are just doing what was modeled to them.
  #27  
Old 02-07-2011, 05:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by graciegirl View Post
But...sometimes you just have to get a group of girls together and beat the livin' crap outa somebody. It works for me.
GG you are so funny and loving. Maybe you should consider giving a seminar on being kind and considerate. Not only have you opened you heart to everyone, you open you lovely home.

I believe what old Abe said, you are only as happy as you make up your mind to be. Actually I'm constantly amazed at how giving TV'ers are and see very few mean spirited people. Sometimes people are grumpy but so what, I haven't walked in their shoes, I'm too busy being grateful for my shoes. I've found that I'm powerless over people; actually the only power I possess is over my own attitude. I find tremendous freedom in this knowledge.
  #28  
Old 02-07-2011, 06:23 PM
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Red, you have been on this site for a long time as I have I. I think you have seen the posts that basically say "my age entitles me to be rude and have the opinion I want to have because of my age - rude or otherwise". You have been a strong voice of reason as has " Village kahuna" who I haven't seen for a long time. The postings on this site have really changed over the years as have the people in TV. Try to get through an intersection or in or out of a parking space - wow. Go to a store and get beat up oin the check out line - it's different. I still love the place but I only have to hang in for three months at a time. I'll get berbally beay up for this response but so be it.
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  #29  
Old 02-07-2011, 09:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by graciegirl View Post
But...sometimes you just have to get a group of girls together and beat the livin' crap outa somebody. It works for me.
You looking for any male volunteers Gracie?
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  #30  
Old 02-07-2011, 11:14 PM
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Default Perhaps it's not our age, just 'tis the season

Quote:
Originally Posted by duffysmom View Post
GG you are so funny and loving. Maybe you should consider giving a seminar on being kind and considerate. Not only have you opened you heart to everyone, you open you lovely home.

I believe what old Abe said, you are only as happy as you make up your mind to be. Actually I'm constantly amazed at how giving TV'ers are and see very few mean spirited people. Sometimes people are grumpy but so what, I haven't walked in their shoes, I'm too busy being grateful for my shoes. I've found that I'm powerless over people; actually the only power I possess is over my own attitude. I find tremendous freedom in this knowledge.
Well said. All of it. About Gracie. About how giving TV'ers are. About the grumps and meanies still being few and far between here. About happiness being a choice.

Happiness, kindness and respect for others are gifts we give to both ourselves and others. We need to...

"Just remember, in the winter, far beneath the bitter snow, lies the seed that with the sun's love, in the Spring,

becomes the rose"!
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