[Nana2Teddy]

Originally Posted by clwahlstrom

We left our two kids and six grandkids in California four years ago. Spend the summers back there, they each visit once a year, and we are back a couple other times in the year. And that is an all day flight. You can make it work.

So you kept your California home? We have our 3 kids and only grandbaby here in California, which is our biggest obstacle to making the move. We can’t keep our home and buy there too. It’s one or the other. Lucky you that you can come back for the summers. I think having that option would make the decision easier for me, but we’d definitely have to be full time in TV.

[Bellavita]

no not for one minute

Originally Posted by TOMCAT

My husband and I want to downsize and live in a smaller home with little maintenance. We have been to The Villages a couple of times and almost moved there.

To make a long story short, our only child moved back to our state and now lives about 10 minutes away from us with our grandkids. I have been looking at 55+ communities here in New York, but nothing as nice as The Villages is here. Did anyone have this dilemma of leaving family for a better quality of life?

[quietpine]

I sense a lot of guilt in these answers so I’ll be honest. We moved and are on the outside of family. Sure we get an occasional visit but it’s expensive for the kids and others and obviously inconvenient. They have jobs and lives back there, something we fostered and encouraged, a sense of place connected to a sense of family. Extended family is the same, in fact we were told “it was your choice to move” by an in-law. We visit, they visit but it’s not the same as being there for grandkids birthdays, sharing wisdom and perspective with your kids and grandkids and enjoying the benefits of extended family time when it’s not a major holiday, wedding or funeral. The kids don’t need us to go to Disney and that in my mind is a really weak trade off. So, we should have downsized in our own area before moving here. Living in TV is like going to Disney, living with family is like going home and home and home. Just one grandparent’s perspective.

[TOMCAT]

Originally Posted by Laker14

I joined the site in 2008, bought my first TV home in 2021. It didn't take ME long to decide. Convincing DW took 13 years.

We lost the house we wanted to buy in 2018 to another buyer. If we had bought our second choice, which I wanted to do but my husband did not, we would have been there already.

[TOMCAT]

Originally Posted by quietpine

I sense a lot of guilt in these answers so I’ll be honest. We moved and are on the outside of family. Sure we get an occasional visit but it’s expensive for the kids and others and obviously inconvenient. They have jobs and lives back there, something we fostered and encouraged, a sense of place connected to a sense of family. Extended family is the same, in fact we were told “it was your choice to move” by an in-law. We visit, they visit but it’s not the same as being there for grandkids birthdays, sharing wisdom and perspective with your kids and grandkids and enjoying the benefits of extended family time when it’s not a major holiday, wedding or funeral. The kids don’t need us to go to Disney and that in my mind is a really weak trade off. So, we should have downsized in our own area before moving here. Living in TV is like going to Disney, living with family is like going home and home and home. Just one grandparent’s perspective.

My husband feels the same way you do. Our children can move away too as what happened to my son, but then he moved back. There will be birthdays but we try to see each other as much as we can. It is a big decision to move to another state and leave family. Perhaps if my son was living in Florida, which he was at one time, we would be there already.

[Viperguy]

Originally Posted by Two Bills

Just mention Disney is just down the road.
You will see grand kids quite regularly!

Not my kids.....never

[BlueStarAirlines]

I think this is one of those topics that only you can answer. I'm one of four kids and we all moved away from where our parents lived. We all came home at different intervals and made a point to be home at Christmas. At one point they moved south of Tampa and always helped out our visits financially.

Now that we have moved to TV, we realize nothing has really changed with our kids. They work and we still work, so its calls or texts during the week. They fly down to see us and we go up to each of their area every year just for a change of scenery. They have a few hours free during the week and the weekends, so we're cognizant that they have friends and things they want and need to do during that time.

We don't want to be like the parents on the tv show Raymond! I think having some space is healthy!

[PugMom]

Originally Posted by TOMCAT

My husband complains they do not come here that often. I do not know what he means by often, but my son has to work. I can understand that.

I tell my husband we will probably see them more when he goes on vacations. Like someone mentioned, footing the bill will help if they permit me. I think my husband is more apprehensive than me.

I am getting ready. Retire completely and move.

when you throw that Disney card out @ the kids, & they know you are waiting for them, that will be enough. the KIDS will do all the work @ getting them to visit, i guarantee you that

[Driller703]

Perfect

[Aces4]

Originally Posted by quietpine

I sense a lot of guilt in these answers so I’ll be honest. We moved and are on the outside of family. Sure we get an occasional visit but it’s expensive for the kids and others and obviously inconvenient. They have jobs and lives back there, something we fostered and encouraged, a sense of place connected to a sense of family. Extended family is the same, in fact we were told “it was your choice to move” by an in-law. We visit, they visit but it’s not the same as being there for grandkids birthdays, sharing wisdom and perspective with your kids and grandkids and enjoying the benefits of extended family time when it’s not a major holiday, wedding or funeral. The kids don’t need us to go to Disney and that in my mind is a really weak trade off. So, we should have downsized in our own area before moving here. Living in TV is like going to Disney, living with family is like going home and home and home. Just one grandparent’s perspective.

This is a great example of how only you and your husband can make this decision. The decision really isn’t based on your son alone, although you may feel that way. The choice also depends on your quality of life where you currently reside, friendships, healthcare, hobbies, cost of living and full spectrum of ages vs living with the elderly day after day, as an example. If you are Frank and Marie, as someone suggested… I don’t think The Villages wants you either.

Anyone considering leaving family behind has to also remember not to go crawling back to them if or when you become ill or disabled or unable to golf. I’m a little surprised how many familys are lured to visit with Disney tickets, I guess there is no accounting for interests.

[TOMCAT]

New York is experiencing some hot weather lately. Yesterday, I went to the pool to cool off. It felt great, but it sometimes takes a little effort on my part to get there. I know there are quite a few pools there in The Villages that I can go to get cooled off. That is another consideration, the heat. There are clubs that are air-conditioned to join also when it gets too hot. My husband worries about doctors. He has to get new doctors, and so do I, but my worry is not that.

[Ohiogirl]

Why would you not just rent for 3 months in the winter? We have friends here in Ohio who do just that. They sort of wish they had bought 10 or so years ago, but would have still been snowbirds (as we also are). Now, with prices so high (in Ohio too), they've decided to just rent every winter, and it seems to suit them just fine. We spend longer in TV than here in Ohio, and we were lucky to have bought a condo here in 2012, when prices took a dip for a couple of years.

Our friends are great grandparents - got their grandkids thru Covid school, and last year (and probably this year too) they will tutor one of them who needs it. Through Zoom, I think.

[Laker14]

Originally Posted by Aces4

This is a great example of how only you and your husband can make this decision. The decision really isn’t based on your son alone, although you may feel that way. The choice also depends on your quality of life where you currently reside, friendships, healthcare, hobbies, cost of living and full spectrum of ages vs living with the elderly day after day, as an example. If you are Frank and Marie, as someone suggested… I don’t think The Villages wants you either.

Anyone considering leaving family behind has to also remember not to go crawling back to them if or when you become ill or disabled or unable to golf. I’m a little surprised how many familys are lured to visit with Disney tickets, I guess there is no accounting for interests.

Disney is an attraction, but it's only one of many. I know when I was stuck up in NY in winter, and my folks were retired in the Naples area, having a place to come visit that was not freezing cold was a wonderful treat. My parents enjoyed seeing us come, and of course, seeing us go so they could get back to their real lives. There's nothing wrong with that.
I love my kids, and my grandchildren. But, I have my own life, and it does not revolve around my grandkids. I know others who are very happy being very close and involved with the grandkids' activities. They would be abjectly miserable being down here and being away from all of that.
But, that's not me.

Anyone even thinking that this might be a problem would be wise to rent for an extended winter snowbird season and see how they feel in their hearts about being away from the families they would be leaving behind. It's certainly not for everyone.

[TOMCAT]

Originally Posted by Ohiogirl

Why would you not just rent for 3 months in the winter? We have friends here in Ohio who do just that. They sort of wish they had bought 10 or so years ago, but would have still been snowbirds (as we also are). Now, with prices so high (in Ohio too), they've decided to just rent every winter, and it seems to suit them just fine. We spend longer in TV than here in Ohio, and we were lucky to have bought a condo here in 2012, when prices took a dip for a couple of years.

Our friends are great grandparents - got their grandkids thru Covid school, and last year (and probably this year too) they will tutor one of them who needs it. Through Zoom, I think.

I have been thinking that way. I would have to sell my house and move into a condo. To leave a house in the winter when it snows might be too much. Unless, I have someone shovel for me, but I do not think I would do that. First, move into a condo where grounds get taken care of. That has been a thought to really get a feel for things.

[TOMCAT]

Originally Posted by TOMCAT

I have been thinking that way. I would have to sell my house and move into a condo. To leave a house in the winter when it snows might be too much. Unless, I have someone shovel for me, but I do not think I would do that. First, move into a condo where grounds get taken care of. That has been a thought to really get a feel for things.

We had the real estate here again, but we think we will wait until spring. Maybe prices such as homes and gasoline will go down.