[justjim]

When I come into contact with what I consider a "rude person" (and we all have a different tolerance) I sometimes pick back up that little book "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and Its All Small Stuff." Just a thought.

[schotzyb]

The way I feel about it.

[mamagator]

You encounter rude people everyday, unfortunately! I try to ignore most of them. I'm also a Miami native, lived there most of my life. It use to be a very lovely city. We left there in the early '80's thanks to Fidel and his boatloads of criminals and lowlifes he sent over. I wouldn't move back there for a million $$! Talk about rude....I'm surprised Miami isn't at the top of the list!

[gmcneill]

I begin by saying that I am sorry to hear that you had to endure an endoscopy, Jon. I hope that the procedure uncovered the results that you were hoping for. Please continue to hang in there, Jon. I know you've had a rough go of things this year. Just know that there are many of us out here who are pulling for you and hold you in our thoughts and prayers.

FWIW: I have neither met nor spoken with Jon or his wife. I wouldn't know him if he ran me over with his paddleboard. But how uplifting it would have been for Jon if we all- whether we know him or not- had taken a moment to extend the basic courtesy of offering some words of encouragement and support before expressing our opinions on the topic he raised?

On to the topic at hand…
Last summer, things on TOTV had descended to the point where we learned about trolls and cyber-bullies, we were admonished by the Administrator, and a long-standing member shut down. At the time, I thought that “we” committed to return to civility and mutual respect, and to focus our comments, whether positive or negative, on topics rather than directing criticisms or harsh comments at a poster. Things seemed to smooth over for a while. The long-time poster even returned, albeit if only with a limited less edgy presence.

A month or so ago, however, things got ugly again. That situation resulted in the self-imposed departures of another two members. (A welcome back greeting to one of them; a come-on back request to the other.)

Just this past week, a post commented about boorish behavior in TV church parking lots after services. One can read TOTV posts and see how quickly some of us become confrontational and antagonistic, demonstrating aggression- either outright or passively- towards a fellow poster instead of addressing the subject matter. We have seen where some posters, knowing that their comments and opinions will be a bit controversial, will include in their post an acknowledgement to the effect of, let the flaming begin.

Poor behavior is everywhere, inside and outside of the bubble; however, I do not understand why one would initiate rudeness and impoliteness. (I do agree with the point made elsewhere that there are people who are of a gentle nature in person but who are quite different in front of a keyboard or behind the wheel of a car, or a golf cart!) Posters in this string have identified many interesting and valid opinions and observations as potential reasons or causes for such behavior. I add another observation: Having endured decades of life’s stressors as best as they can, many folks who have reached retirement have committed to a personal life “guide” that they simply will not tolerate any person- or comment or place or circumstance- that displeases them in some way (Twisted Sister lyrics are running through my head!).

Some folks choose to ignore poor behavior, others choose to have fun with it- carguys, she shouldn’t have made an offer if she had no intention of fulfilling, such a tease she was!- while others choose a more aggressive approach. Folks who choose a more aggressive approach often not care that their level of aggression equals or exceeds in intensity whatever it is that “bothers” them, and they are usually callous about what others may think of their particular method for “rectifying” a matter.

As for me, I reiterate the pledge I made during last summer’s TOTV silliness: I choose to be as civil, polite, and mannerly as I possibly can. And when I fail, I will unconditionally apologize.

[Dr Winston O Boogie jr]

Sorry to hear that you had such a bad time. I tend to agree that this behavior is the exception and not the norm in the Villages. I have never had anyone honk at me while in my golf cart. In fact, I am surprised to see how courteous car drivers are to golf cart drivers.
One thing I would like to point out here, and this in no way excuses this woman's behavior, is that the pharmacist was somewhat to blame in this instance. He never should have told you to sit there and wait if it was going to take longer than a minute. He should have asked you to get out of line to allow the next customer to conduct their business.

[rubicon]

Originally Posted by Golfer in Sanibel

In USAToday, today. Look at the Florida cities in top 10.

Rudest city in the USA? Hint: It's not what you're probably thinking - USATODAY.com

The cities listed all have international vistor or are transient in nature so how can you tell?

[keithwand]

We have lived in Orlando since 2004 and find the people friendlyand helpful.
When I changed cars I tried to update my Sunpass online but ended up calling.
Got a wonderful lady that said well honey I can do this for you.
O town city employees are friendly and the DMV was too.
Now comparing it to Michigan; well the southern charm is true.

[Dirigo]

Originally Posted by duffysmom

In any confrontation I'm cautious because many people here in Florida are armed and quick to respond in anger.

Really? Is there a higher percentage of armed persons in Florida compared to the rest of the country? And are they really more apt to use those arms in anger?

[John_W]

Concealed weapons permits are fairly easy to get in Florida when compared to other states. I came from Maryland and you had to prove it was necessary for you to have a concealed weapon, such as a business owner who carried large sums of money. In Florida if you have a military DD214 form, which is your service record, and a clean criminal record you can get a permit. I just checked online and as of last June there were 843,463 licensed permit holders in Florida.

[Bogie Shooter]

Originally Posted by John_W

Concealed weapons permits are fairly easy to get in Florida when compared to other states. I came from Maryland and you had to prove it was necessary for you to have a concealed weapon, such as a business owner who carried large sums of money. In Florida if you have a military DD214 form, which is your service record, and a clean criminal record you can get a permit. I just checked online and as of last June there were 843,463 licensed permit holders in Florida.

Was there any information where you checked as to how many permit holders were mentally impaired??

[Trish Crocker]

My husband (the scientist) told me that the shortest recorded measure of time is the time between when the light turns green and the guy behind you blows his horn.

[Pturner]

Originally Posted by Trish Crocker

My husband (the scientist) told me that the shortest recorded measure of time is the time between when the light turns green and the guy behind you blows his horn.

LOL. I've discovered that's the second shortest recorded time though. The first shortest by far is how fast the time goes whenever I'm in TV.

[cappyjon431]

Originally Posted by gmcneill

I begin by saying that I am sorry to hear that you had to endure an endoscopy, Jon. I hope that the procedure uncovered the results that you were hoping for. Please continue to hang in there, Jon. I know you've had a rough go of things this year. Just know that there are many of us out here who are pulling for you and hold you in our thoughts and prayers.

FWIW: I have neither met nor spoken with Jon or his wife. I wouldn't know him if he ran me over with his paddleboard. But how uplifting it would have been for Jon if we all- whether we know him or not- had taken a moment to extend the basic courtesy of offering some words of encouragement and support before expressing our opinions on the topic he raised?

On to the topic at hand…
Last summer, things on TOTV had descended to the point where we learned about trolls and cyber-bullies, we were admonished by the Administrator, and a long-standing member shut down. At the time, I thought that “we” committed to return to civility and mutual respect, and to focus our comments, whether positive or negative, on topics rather than directing criticisms or harsh comments at a poster. Things seemed to smooth over for a while. The long-time poster even returned, albeit if only with a limited less edgy presence.

A month or so ago, however, things got ugly again. That situation resulted in the self-imposed departures of another two members. (A welcome back greeting to one of them; a come-on back request to the other.)

Just this past week, a post commented about boorish behavior in TV church parking lots after services. One can read TOTV posts and see how quickly some of us become confrontational and antagonistic, demonstrating aggression- either outright or passively- towards a fellow poster instead of addressing the subject matter. We have seen where some posters, knowing that their comments and opinions will be a bit controversial, will include in their post an acknowledgement to the effect of, let the flaming begin.

Poor behavior is everywhere, inside and outside of the bubble; however, I do not understand why one would initiate rudeness and impoliteness. (I do agree with the point made elsewhere that there are people who are of a gentle nature in person but who are quite different in front of a keyboard or behind the wheel of a car, or a golf cart!) Posters in this string have identified many interesting and valid opinions and observations as potential reasons or causes for such behavior. I add another observation: Having endured decades of life’s stressors as best as they can, many folks who have reached retirement have committed to a personal life “guide” that they simply will not tolerate any person- or comment or place or circumstance- that displeases them in some way (Twisted Sister lyrics are running through my head!).

Some folks choose to ignore poor behavior, others choose to have fun with it- carguys, she shouldn’t have made an offer if she had no intention of fulfilling, such a tease she was!- while others choose a more aggressive approach. Folks who choose a more aggressive approach often not care that their level of aggression equals or exceeds in intensity whatever it is that “bothers” them, and they are usually callous about what others may think of their particular method for “rectifying” a matter.

As for me, I reiterate the pledge I made during last summer’s TOTV silliness: I choose to be as civil, polite, and mannerly as I possibly can. And when I fail, I will unconditionally apologize.

Thanks gmcneil for the kind words. I am truly touched. I'm actually doing very well and feel better than I have in years. The meds have kept me symptom free for a couple of months, they're trying to shock it into remission with high doses of prednisone. In the mean time I'm working out 5-6 days a week, paddleboarding a couple of times per week, and have done a few dive trips in the last month. I refuse to let this condition set me back.

I think you are correct in that rudeness can be found everywhere--big cities, small towns, among the young, among the old, in parking lots, grocery stores, movie theatres, even churches. It even occurs in cyberspace as we have seen on certain TOTV threads, including this one.

I think everyone just needs to try and combat rudeness in their own way. If people feel more comfortable "turning the other cheek," it is their decision and I respect that. If others want to combat it with humor, I think that is a wonderful approach. If someone wants to stand up to these rude bullies and confront them, that is good too. I certainly respect how anyone deals with rudeness--it is entirely their decision and they have to live with it. I just wish others would respect my method for combatting rudeness the way I respect theirs.

[Golfer in Sanibel]

Originally Posted by Trish Crocker

My husband (the scientist) told me that the shortest recorded measure of time is the time between when the light turns green and the guy behind you blows his horn.

That is my definition of the nanosecond.

[Dirigo]

Originally Posted by Bogie Shooter

Was there any information where you checked as to how many permit holders were mentally impaired??

If you were to pick up an application for concealed carry at the tag office and read it you'd see that individuals are screened for any history of past violence or mental illness. Fingerprints are required also for positive ID.

I wonder if there is a higher percentage of CC permits compared to the total population in Florida compared to the other states...a project for me after I retire I guess.