[angiefox10]

Originally Posted by skyguy79

I hope you're talking about asking the numb scull who thinks he/she's a deed holder to the spot and not Bill!

[JenAjd]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

Weren't taught to say things like that. In Ohio, our moms would have smacked us for talking out like that, and so people who are raised like that are often pushed around here and it makes me mad. BUT, I would feel guilty and wrong speaking up.

I don't like people to win through intimidation like the space savers usually do.

I wish my mom was here to see this kind of thing. She might have changed her mind.

I did not mean to say you are wrong Jen, it just is that we were all raised with different sets of expectation and some of them are regional.

I think basically people are the same no matter where they come from.

But that kind of pushiness makes me want to bite when they think they can save a place. I left an art class at Colony because of that kind of behavior.

You read me wrong!!! I haven't had the instance to actually say that...but THAT would have been my 1st thought inclination!!! I was raised in the upper midwest and was taught to be polite etc. What is being shared here though is that folks come into a class and try to be pushy....telling another "they" took the spot of the 2nd party and that is wrong in my thinking. Would you just say "sorry..and move aside? Maybe, but if you were there first I'd think the spot you were in would be yours!" Just mho!!!

[angiefox10]

Originally Posted by JenAjd

You read me wrong!!! I haven't had the instance to actually say that...but THAT would have been my 1st thought inclination!!! I was raised in the upper midwest and was taught to be polite etc. What is being shared here though is that folks come into a class and try to be pushy....telling another "they" took the spot of the 2nd party and that is wrong in my thinking. Would you just say "sorry..and move aside? Maybe, but if you were there first I'd think the spot you were in would be yours!" Just mho!!!

To be honest. When something like that happens to any of us, we go into a shock and don't do or say anything. Since we don't expect anyone to say anything like that to us, we generally don't have a response.

This thread has been good in that so many of the responses have been good. If this happens to anyone who has read this, in the future, we will have a better handle on how to deal with it.

But as to how we would have handled it. most likely, would would have let the person have "their spot" because it was the unexpected.

[jojoin]

I consider myself fairly polite. I try to give folks the benefit of the doubt. But, I gotta say if I went early to a class (which I do) and someone came 15 minutes later and said that's my spot, I would not move. I'd probably explain there are no designated spots, it's first come first served at the activities. Hopefully, they would move on and find another spot or come earlier next time. On a positive note, I've never had this happen so this person (I hope) is not the typical participant.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by JenAjd

You read me wrong!!! I haven't had the instance to actually say that...but THAT would have been my 1st thought inclination!!! I was raised in the upper midwest and was taught to be polite etc. What is being shared here though is that folks come into a class and try to be pushy....telling another "they" took the spot of the 2nd party and that is wrong in my thinking. Would you just say "sorry..and move aside? Maybe, but if you were there first I'd think the spot you were in would be yours!" Just mho!!!

And I knew that Jen. When I typed it I KNEW that you are always kind. That is the reading of words again instead of looking at faces. I am sorry for saying it the way I did and choosing your post to copy. You are always thoughtful and nice.

At Odell you do need to come early for Walking Off the Pounds but they make you wait in line until the time of the class and then allow you to enter the room. But STILL there are those who say...this is my spot.

[l2ridehd]

Just ask them "wow, I tried to reserve a spot and they told me first come first served. How did you reserve this spot"?

In my prior life I would have said OK and moved, today I would not. To many people think they have a right to treat others any way they want to get what they want. Just listen to the dumb requests of the occupy wall street idiots.

What people who think "this is their spot" should learn is that others will stand up to them and not accept that behavior. They will never change unless we do.

[springfield]

Thanks for your advice. I would love to be able to use some of them. I'm not very confrontational and probably wouldn't. This same person wanted to know if I lived in the neighborhood and wanted to know if I was a snowbird. She said that they like keeping the class small. I got the feeling that they all knew each other like it was a little neighborhood clique. I did keep my place but I said to her afterwards that I think she must have been bothered by me being in her place and asked if she would like for me to go to the next row next time. She smiled and looked relieved. This incident bothered me and she should not have said that. Yet, I guess it was more important to her. Hopefully, some of the "that's my spot" people will read your responses and think twice before being rude. I am off to a 7:30 class. I'm leaving early so I can get my spot! Thanks again.

[ladydoc]

Originally Posted by Uptown Girl

See, that's the hook about being 'politically correct' in this day and age... the jerks out there who press hard, depend on you being politically correct, apologetic, polite (or intimidated) and giving them what they want. You gotta know when to abandon that and creatively fight fire with fire.

Being a Chicago girl, I would have applauded if you smiled a BIG smile, waved your arms in welcome and said loud enough for others to hear," You want to work out in THIS spot? Well, come on Darling, you can squeeze yourself in here and share this space with me, I don't mind!"
Then, working out with abandon, give her just enough space for an angel to dance on a pin.
Meantime, you eyeball the room and decide on a better spot to be next time... preferably away from the witch. (whom you will continue to smile very big at, and even wave to....It will annoy the hell out of her.)

Hush now..don't give away the Chicago girl secrets.....

[Bettiboop]

Originally Posted by springfield

Thanks for your advice. I would love to be able to use some of them. I'm not very confrontational and probably wouldn't. This same person wanted to know if I lived in the neighborhood and wanted to know if I was a snowbird. She said that they like keeping the class small. I got the feeling that they all knew each other like it was a little neighborhood clique. I did keep my place but I said to her afterwards that I think she must have been bothered by me being in her place and asked if she would like for me to go to the next row next time. She smiled and looked relieved. This incident bothered me and she should not have said that. Yet, I guess it was more important to her. Hopefully, some of the "that's my spot" people will read your responses and think twice before being rude. I am off to a 7:30 class. I'm leaving early so I can get my spot! Thanks again.

It is a shame this person treated you in such a way. Her comments would have made me feel not welcome. I hope this is not a common thing in TV.

[mrsanborn]

The Boomers are coming, the Boomers are coming! The pelicans from "Finding Nemo" - mine, mine, mine, mine

[Uptown Girl]

Originally Posted by springfield

Thanks for your advice.... This same person wanted to know if I lived in the neighborhood and wanted to know if I was a snowbird. She said that they like keeping the class small. I got the feeling that they all knew each other like it was a little neighborhood clique. I did keep my place but I said to her afterwards that I think she must have been bothered by me being in her place and asked if she would like for me to go to the next row next time. She smiled and looked relieved. This incident bothered me and she should not have said that..... .

I don't want to harp on this... you already know that her question was meant to intimidate you. But if it bothered you that she jumped on your offer 'to go to the next row next time', remember that you GAVE her the choice of directing your placement or not..... you can't be upset that she didn't make the choice you hoped.

Anyway..... have a beautiful day!

[springfield]

I assumed she would want me to move next time, I made the offer to just clear the obvious tension. Good grief, we have enough tension in this world. I think besides being told that it was her spot, it was the attitude that this was "their class" and they wanted to keep it small, so "outsiders" really aren't welcome. We have all been new people at some time, whether it was the new kid in school, or new to a town, or new to TV. I have so enjoyed meeting new people in the different classes. Usually people go out of their way to make you feel welcome. I try to at least smile when I see new people or say hello. One of my favorite sayings is, "there are no strangers here, only friends we haven't met." We never know when a small act of kindness could make someone's day.

[JenAjd]

I've observed this kind of attitude elsewhere in T.V. as well. Have heard conversations of folks going to neighborhood pools only to be asked "if they are snowbirds", as if there's an "ownership" of some. If one thinks about it...it's childish behavior and unbecoming of individuals to act like this. I agree with one other poster here---it's a type of bullying!!!!!

My, my, my---my thought is LIFE is much too short to be so unkind, much less this out-spoken. It seems that most in T.V. are highly educated and have lived a good life elsewhere so my question is, were they like this in their jobs, neighborhoods etc. elsewhere?? Why does this attitude seem so pervasive here and I'd not experienced it so much where we moved from??
To be quite honest it has been shocking!!

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by JenAjd

I've observed this kind of attitude elsewhere in T.V. as well. Have heard conversations of folks going to neighborhood pools only to be asked "if they are snowbirds", as if there's an "ownership" of some. If one thinks about it...it's childish behavior and unbecoming of individuals to act like this. I agree with one other poster here---it's a type of bullying!!!!!

My, my, my---my thought is LIFE is much too short to be so unkind, much less this out-spoken. It seems that most in T.V. are highly educated and have lived a good life elsewhere so my question is, were they like this in their jobs, neighborhoods etc. elsewhere?? Why does this attitude seem so pervasive here and I'd not experienced it so much where we moved from??
To be quite honest it has been shocking!!

I have to agree Jen. And as Doctor Phil says " The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior".

I know of a fairly popular woman who is a friend of a friend and she bullies everyone she meets. She manipulates and uses power tactics to get things her way. I wonder constantly WHY she has any aquaintances at all, but she doles out favors and gives gifts and arranges fun happenings.
The smart people quit and leave her group but she still has many followers. I met her once and I ran....not walked away from anything she had any dealings with.

I don't like mean. And I don't like selfish. And it isn't that I haven't been both and still am at times, but at least I am ashamed when it is pointed out to me.

I think that the behaviors that we see like this here have won these people some things. It is called "Winning Through Intimidation" and I plan to read that book sometime.

Now this does not mean that I don't agree with all of you who say you need to speak up and stand on your own two feet and act like an adult. But there is a difference in that. That is healthy. Pushing people around to see them pushed is just not right.

Someone help me down off this soap box.

And Jen...Hugs.

[Larry Wilson]

Its all about overcrowding. We have been here long enough to see the personality of this place change. Once everybody exchanged name cards, made friends with everybody, and there was enough parking spaces, chairs, exercise spots, dancing floor room to dance etc.etc.etc.
Then the building went on steroids and all that changed. I know this will get the "everything is perfect" posters to attack me but it is just too overcrowded here in the winter.
About 4 years ago when half of my wife's exercise class was turned away all winter because not enough spots, she stated her own class.(mainly to know she would have a place on stage!) Now her class is turning people away.
It is rough out there and people do resent snowbirds but...its the nature of the animal world to fight if there is overcrowding.
Once again," the all is is perfect" crowd will hate to hear this but the other smaller developments all around us are much friendlier and none of this tension. When you move to Del Webb or Stonecrest it is a more peaceful existence. It is also true is they come here for our entertainment and restaurants.
So save the attacks because I still live here for the level of sports but my wife would move in a minute. We always talk about the good old days before this place was overcrowded.
Everyone have a great day and I mean it. We are all lucky to be out of the northern winters.