[gamby]

Go and have this time of life with your family; I think you will be happy you did. Start looking foward to all the great times you will have ,


Happy Trails

A

[senior citizen]

...........

[TomW]

On the emotional side, it is time to change your circumstances when it becomes a drudge to face every day of one's current situation. If there are few or no "good days", it is time to move on. If one needs assistance with bathing, toileting, eating or medicating and you are living alone, those are also checkpoints for it being time to change the circumstances. Last, if you are not sure about handling your daily affairs and your money, it is probably time to change. After watching my elderly parents delay the decision until the last minute, I suggest you probably know when the current chapter of life is closing and it is time to make a change. It is much better to walk into the new situation than be carried or wheeled into it due to an injury.

[gomoho]

So mommiewamie said 3 days ago she was taking her husband to Orlando for more tests. Have you returned, what were the results? Do you need help in Orlando. Are the kids here helping you? Please don't leave us hanging if you are sincere with this post.

[gerryann]

Whatever your desision, it will be the correct desision for your circumstance. You sound like a very smart and loving wife and you will do fine. You are so blessed to have caring children who are opening their hearts and homes to you. Good luck to you and your husband whatever desision you make. God bless.

[janmcn]

All hospitals have social workers that deal with situations like this on a daily basis. Perhaps it's time to get a third party involved who can ask the proper questions to the patient and the caregiver. Perhaps they can offer solutions you have not thought of.

Also, a caring compassionate physician should be brought into the discussion. He or she knows more about what lies ahead physically and emotionally.

[2BNTV]

Originally Posted by janmcn

All hospitals have social workers that deal with situations like this on a daily basis. Perhaps it's time to get a third party involved who can ask the proper questions to the patient and the caregiver. Perhaps they can offer solutions you have not thought of.

Also, a caring compassionate physician should be brought into the discussion. He or she knows more about what lies ahead physically and emotionally.

An excellent suggestion that might give one more insight.

[shrl1]

I am thinking about moving to the villages later. I have never had a retirement as I have had to care for a dependent husband health wise. I would like some advice on a single person living there.

[eweissenbach]

Originally Posted by shrl1

I am thinking about moving to the villages later. I have never had a retirement as I have had to care for a dependent husband health wise. I would like some advice on a single person living there.

I would suggest you start a new thread asking that question. I'm afraid your concern will be lost in this thread and is sort of off subject. Ed

[2BNTV]

Originally Posted by shrl1

I am thinking about moving to the villages later. I have never had a retirement as I have had to care for a dependent husband health wise. I would like some advice on a single person living there.

to TOTV.

To post a new thread:

1. Click on the "Home" page.
2. Click on "Singles".
3. Click on "New Thread".
4 Give your thread a title.
5. Type in the body of the message.
6. Click on "submit".

I hope this helps you as your post will be probably lost as mentioned by Ed.

[mommieswamie]

Originally Posted by janmcn

All hospitals have social workers that deal with situations like this on a daily basis. Perhaps it's time to get a third party involved who can ask the proper questions to the patient and the caregiver. Perhaps they can offer solutions you have not thought of.

Also, a caring compassionate physician should be brought into the discussion. He or she knows more about what lies ahead physically and emotionally.

We are back from the three day test at the hospital in Orlando. Indeed I did take advantage of all the case manager/social work help that was available at the hospital. It was pretty clear to everyone that I was exhausted and really did not know what to do. This 3 year decline has also been devastating for my husband too. He went from a vibrant man to someone completely dependent, weak and sick.

The results show that NPH (normal pressure hydrocephalus - a treatable disease - yes treatable - all this time) is very likely the diagnosis. He will have a shunt implanted in the brain to drain the excess spinal cord fluid into the abdomen some time within the next couple of months. He has the potential to return to more of the person that he was. I am so heartened and encouraged yet in a state of shock at the length of time that it took to come to this. (3 years - tests, tests, more tests, hospitalizations, doctors, trip after trip to Mayo - no answers) Plus the toll it has taken on us both - he, sick, weak, dependent - me, Caregiver Stress Syndrome written all over my face.

In the interim, he has agreed to go to a rehab hosp to gain some strength and give me a rest.

I guess we can put off moving decisions for a while and give this a chance to turn our lives around. Time will tell.

My heartfelt thanks to all of you. I cannot believe how long this thread has gone on. The kindness and concern of strangers (yes - I know - some of you know exactly who I am and that's ok) is incredible. That first sleepless night when I sat here and started off with an idle generic type question was just amazing to me. As the night went on and more and more responses came, it became so clear that there were a tremendous number of really caring people out there. So much wisdom in the responses, plus I received several personal messages that were so comforting to me.

I will continue to follow up on this thread as it is pretty clear to me that so many of you really care. Thank you, thank you all - from the bottom of my heart.

[Peachie]

Originally Posted by mommieswamie

We are back from the three day test at the hospital in Orlando. Indeed I did take advantage of all the case manager/social work help that was available at the hospital. It was pretty clear to everyone that I was exhausted and really did not know what to do. This 3 year decline has also been devastating for my husband too. He went from a vibrant man to someone completely dependent, weak and sick.

The results show that NPH (normal pressure hydrocephalus - a treatable disease - yes treatable - all this time) is very likely the diagnosis. He will have a shunt implanted in the brain to drain the excess spinal cord fluid into the abdomen some time within the next couple of months. He has the potential to return to more of the person that he was. I am so heartened and encouraged yet in a state of shock at the length of time that it took to come to this. (3 years - tests, tests, more tests, hospitalizations, doctors, trip after trip to Mayo - no answers) Plus the toll it has taken on us both - he, sick, weak, dependent - me, Caregiver Stress Syndrome written all over my face.

In the interim, he has agreed to go to a rehab hosp to gain some strength and give me a rest.

I guess we can put off moving decisions for a while and give this a chance to turn our lives around. Time will tell.

My heartfelt thanks to all of you. I cannot believe how long this thread has gone on. The kindness and concern of strangers (yes - I know - some of you know exactly who I am and that's ok) is incredible. That first sleepless night when I sat here and started off with an idle generic type question was just amazing to me. As the night went on and more and more responses came, it became so clear that there were a tremendous number of really caring people out there. So much wisdom in the responses, plus I received several personal messages that were so comforting to me.

I will continue to follow up on this thread as it is pretty clear to me that so many of you really care. Thank you, thank you all - from the bottom of my heart.

What incredible news, Mommieswamie, that your husband has been diagnosed with the insidious illness, NPH. It must be so encouraging to know that he may continue to improve after treatment but devastating for you to know this could have been diagnosed sooner and saved much heartache. May the two of you get all the treatment and rest you both need.

[Mudder]

I am so happy for both your and your husband. I know someone who took a similair journey, both spouses are "new" people now. Keep the faith, stay here, your kids will be happy for you both to be getting what you need.

[Schaumburger]

Keep us posted on TOTV how you and your husband are doing in the coming weeks. Keeping both of you in my thoughts and prayers that you both have turned the corner and that better times are ahead for both of you.

[Villages PL]

Originally Posted by mommieswamie

How do you know when it is time to give up and move closer to your children. What are the signs? How and when do you make such a decision? I am sure that those of us who really want to leave this beautiful place are few and far between, but sometimes it becomes a necessity. So how do you know and what if you know it is time and you don't want to make the decision. You don't want to leave? Then what do you do?

If the decision is difficult at this time, give yourself more time. Put it off for a bit longer until you feel more sure of the need to move. I believe there's consuling that can be requested through Medicare and/or a Medicare HMO, but I'm not sure. Perhaps they could make an objective assesment and help you to decide.