[glenn prescott]

From a childs stand point, ...I was ecstatic that my parents were moving to the villages and going to enjoy the fruits of there labor I did miss stopping at their house on a Saturday afternoon for a beer with my father and bringing the grandkids by and after several years of not seeing them I took the kids down after my divorce and we all fell in love with the place I have since been back regularly and am planning on purchasing soon and living there in 4.9 years LOL ( I actually have it broken down to how many assigned 24 hr shifts I have left unfortunately it is still triple digit )

[patfla06]

Originally Posted by Schaumburger

How sad that adult children won't speak to their parents based on a decision about where their parents choose to spend their golden years. I would give just about anything to be able to pick up the phone and speak to my mom or see her in person no matter where she lived.

Me too!
My Mom has been gone 10 years and I miss her every day!

[lanabanana73]

Reading this last night prompted me to send a note to my four kids, telling them that we expect to be selling the family home in a year or two. I said that I know how devastating that can be, as I felt totally betrayed when my mom sold our family home. At least I have given them notice and they'll have awhile to get used to the idea! They already knew that we are in love with TV and plan a move there as soon as is feasible.

Thanks TOTV for helping me start a difficult conversation.

Alanna

[ConnecticutYankee]

My husband's daughter just visited for the first time. She didn't think she would like it and was "blown away" by all there was to do and the friendliness of everyone. She said she might even consider moving here when she's in her 70's.

It's clear from this thread that many of us have experienced unhappy attitudes from our children/families. If they would only come for a visit, they would see why we made this decision. It truly is a wonderful place to live!

I was planning to move here even if no one in my family ever spoke to me again! I knew in my heart that this was the best place for me to live in my "golden years!" And to further justify my decision, I met a wonderful man in church the very first Sunday I was here! We are truly happy together and never would have met if we didn't take the chance and move to The Villages!

A friend once told me, when our kids are grown, all we really have is each other! Don't depend on the kids, they are too busy with their own lives.

[Dr Winston O Boogie jr]

My children were thrilled when I moved here. They thought I was going to spend the rest of my life living 9,000 miles away in the Philippines. They were very happy that I decided to live so much closer to home.

[Harry & Christie]

My husband and I are moving there next week. I have two daughters and the oldest is so happy for us. The younger (34 yrs) is angry at me. She's happy yet she says in way she despises me for it even though she says she loves me. Says I'm deserting her and her husband and 2 little daughters. I tried to explain I will fly back to PA a lot to see them but it's not cutting the mustard. I only see her maybe 2 times a month and she is only 45 minutes from me. She claims it's bittersweet. So I truly understand where you are coming from. I almost called a halt to the move but a friend told me not to let her selfishness stand in my way to our happiness because we are getting older and older as each day passes and we deserve our time now. So grin and bear it. Que sera sera - what will be will be.

[asianthree]

our children have never put pressure on us one way or another..when they moved from one part of the world to another none of them asked if it was ok, so when we move not going to ask how they feel.

[2BNTV]

Originally Posted by ConnecticutYankee

My husband's daughter just visited for the first time. She didn't think she would like it and was "blown away" by all there was to do and the friendliness of everyone. She said she might even consider moving here when she's in her 70's.

It's clear from this thread that many of us have experienced unhappy attitudes from our children/families. If they would only come for a visit, they would see why we made this decision. It truly is a wonderful place to live!

I was planning to move here even if no one in my family ever spoke to me again! I knew in my heart that this was the best place for me to live in my "golden years!" And to further justify my decision, I met a wonderful man in church the very first Sunday I was here! We are truly happy together and never would have met if we didn't take the chance and move to The Villages!

A friend once told me, when our kids are grown, all we really have is each other! Don't depend on the kids, they are too busy with their own lives.

I totally agree with you. Children are busy with their own lives and the world does not revovle around them. This person daughter needs to make a trip to TV and she will see why her parents are so happy to be here!!!

If she is not happy for her parents, then she is being selfish to her own desires and needs. She needs to be more mature and happy for her parent. I am sure she will come around, when she see's the beauty of TV, and it's friendly people. IMHO

We owe it to ourselves to be happy and free from our duties, that we performed for many years. We need to have a life of our own, with our own friends. This is our time, and the start of when children should be looking out for us, and our needs. Isn't 20 plus years enough of, "it's all about them".

"Don't worry, be happy", as the song says.

BTW - I moved from Bridgeport,CT. Where in CT are you from?

[Futurevillager2013]

My daughters moved before we did to Arizona so we felt that they left us. This of course made it easier to make the move from New York to Florida. They arent married and there are no grandkids. They love it Arizona and we love it here. They have nothing to be mad about because they left first. I may feel differently when grandkids are in the picture until then everyone is happy. They just came to visit for the holidays and can't wait to come back. When we lived in New York they were never anxious to visit because most of their friends had left the area.

I'm sad for your situation. Perhaps there is another underlying issue. Maybe your daughter is sad herself about where she lived or how her life is turning out. I think in time she will visit and fall in love with the Villages as you did. Good luck.

[eweissenbach]

Just read every post in this thread for the first time, and have to say much of what I read is heart wrenching. My wife and I were considering the purchase of a home in TV but have now decided we will probably just rent for two or three months in the winter, as we have for the past three years. When we talked of purchasing a place in TV our youngest son (36) and his wife were not too happy (they have three YO twins) and the older son and our daughter were not thrilled, but would have accepted it. We have never planned to live full-time in TV as all three kids and the grand kids live within fifteen minutes of us, and my wife's elderly mother and maiden sister live about thirty minutes away. The only logical option for us, at least in our minds, would have been to maintain a home in Missouri as well as one in TV. I can certainly understand the difficulty and in some cases, guilt, for leaving family behind, and each person has to handle it in their own way. I think I would have been unconditionally happy for my parents had they chosen to move to a place like TV, but everyone handles things differently. It is really heartbreaking to think that a family can be irrevocably divided over something that should be seen as a deserved and positive life decision, but undoubtedly it can and does, happen. I pray that all of you who have experienced this difficulty will find a positive resolution with your loved ones.

[travelguy]

it is your life. make the decision for yourselves. and if the other members of the family are not happy for you, that is just too bad. it is a problem that they are creating.

[2BNTV]

Originally Posted by eweissenbach

Just read every post in this thread for the first time, and have to say much of what I read is heart wrenching. My wife and I were considering the purchase of a home in TV but have now decided we will probably just rent for two or three months in the winter, as we have for the past three years. When we talked of purchasing a place in TV our youngest son (36) and his wife were not too happy (they have three YO twins) and the older son and our daughter were not thrilled, but would have accepted it. We have never planned to live full-time in TV as all three kids and the grand kids live within fifteen minutes of us, and my wife's elderly mother and maiden sister live about thirty minutes away. The only logical option for us, at least in our minds, would have been to maintain a home in Missouri as well as one in TV. I can certainly understand the difficulty and in some cases, guilt, for leaving family behind, and each person has to handle it in their own way. I think I would have been unconditionally happy for my parents had they chosen to move to a place like TV, but everyone handles things differently. It is really heartbreaking to think that a family can be irrevocably divided over something that should be seen as a deserved and positive life decision, but undoubtedly it can and does, happen. I pray that all of you who have experienced this difficulty will find a positive resolution with your loved ones.

A wise and thoughtful post. Everyone has to do what is right for them.

Family is the most important thing is one's life, followed by friends. Some people don't want to leave their grandchildren, and who's to say, that decision is not their best one.

Hope to meet you in February, 2014.

[patfla06]

Originally Posted by eweissenbach

Just read every post in this thread for the first time, and have to say much of what I read is heart wrenching. My wife and I were considering the purchase of a home in TV but have now decided we will probably just rent for two or three months in the winter, as we have for the past three years. When we talked of purchasing a place in TV our youngest son (36) and his wife were not too happy (they have three YO twins) and the older son and our daughter were not thrilled, but would have accepted it. We have never planned to live full-time in TV as all three kids and the grand kids live within fifteen minutes of us, and my wife's elderly mother and maiden sister live about thirty minutes away. The only logical option for us, at least in our minds, would have been to maintain a home in Missouri as well as one in TV. I can certainly understand the difficulty and in some cases, guilt, for leaving family behind, and each person has to handle it in their own way. I think I would have been unconditionally happy for my parents had they chosen to move to a place like TV, but everyone handles things differently. It is really heartbreaking to think that a family can be irrevocably divided over something that should be seen as a deserved and positive life decision, but undoubtedly it can and does, happen. I pray that all of you who have experienced this difficulty will find a positive resolution with your loved ones.

What a well thought out post!

[rockyisle]

When we moved here 3 years ago, our daughter was very angry as well. Felt we were abandoning her and our two grandchildren (16 & 20) at the time. We had kept our home in NH and went back for summers, but she refused to come to visit us (even with free tickets). We finally got her down here last winter for a week and on the second night she said, "Okay, I get it. This place is amazing". But it was a tough 2 years of her not embracing our changes.
Now we are about to sell our home on a lake. It's where our grandchildren grew up so this is a toughie for all of us. Last summer we sat her down and offered to sell her the house at a very low price. We felt that she would inherit it when we die, so why not give her a fighting chance to own it now. She has a great job - and a wonderful partner - so they talked it through and decided for themselves that they didn't want it. When the last of their kids are out of college in 4 years, they want to travel. Great decision. My husband and I felt good about offering it to her and I know it went a long way toward mending of hurt feelings to do it. She realized how much we love her and wanted to include her in our decisions.
My only piece of advice (having lived through this) is to continue to call once a month and leave a message of love. Don't forget birthdays, etc - a Mother's love is forever... it's what we do. And our children will always be children at times such as this. Some embrace change, others do not.
But this I know. The clock is ticking on OUR lives right now. We've raised our children and deserve to experience all that retirement can give us here in TV. I'm so grateful and happy to be here - enjoying the fruits of our life labor with the man I love...

[jimmy D]

Our kids were thrilled for us. Of course they will miss us, and we them, but we all will adjust. They loving coming and we love going to them.