[kb8tpw]

Wow ! this has all sorts of implications. The wife and I would have a serious discussion when we arrived home, especially if it were bang-bang shrimp at Bonefish ! If it is any consolation I've been there also and it is never win-win as is borne out by the earlier comments.

[justanormalgirl]

Let me see...'share' and Bonefish Grille 'Bang Bang Shrimp'...I'm sorry, those words don't even sound right together, they would have to get their own BBS because I ain't sharin' mine! That dish is addictive!

[Russ_Boston]

Originally Posted by sunday;316***

.nor do I dine with anyone that I do not have full intent on treating anyway.

We'll be there Jan 8th - my phone # is 508-2......

[bkcunningham1]

Here's how it happens with my husband and me in similar situations. He would agree with you 100 percent. When he orders an appetizer and everyone else declines; it is his and his alone.

So when he orders a single appetizer and everyone else declines, I know from experience what is going to happen. So I order a couple of extra appetizers to have a variety and to allow sharing. It has happened many times with us. I love to watch people eat and enjoy themselves. It just seems so warm, secure and social to me to share food and break bread together. (I know, I know. If they wanted it they could order it. But I don't want to eat in front of people who aren't eating.)

It is something in me. Good or bad, I can't stand to think someone is hungry. I am the person who keeps heaping food on guests' plates and cooking way more than we need. I suppose it come from having seven brothers and sisters.

[Pturner]

Originally Posted by Talk Host

I would like some opinions on an argu.. ah discussion that my wife and I are having. Let's see if I can explain this.

In a restaurant for dinner. There are two, three or four couples. As the pre-order discussion is had, it's said by someone (let's say me) "is anybody going to order an appetizer." Then all in attendance say "no."

Then I say, (example at BoneFish Grill) "I am going to have an order of the Bang Bang Shrimp" (which I love. That's the only thing there I really like)

Then, MY appetizer arrives, my wife thinks it's proper to share it around the table. I say it isn't.

Recently, six people, I was the only one to order a calamari appetizer. When it came, it got shared around the table, and by the time it got back to me, there were two little pieces left.

My position is that if they want something, they should order it. My wife's position is "what are you going to do, sit there and eat it in front of everybody without offering it?"

JLK

Sometimes, no one wants to be the first to speak up and order an appetizer, especially if they think they might be the only one. So, if you want an appetizer, instead of saying, "is anybody going to order an appetizer," maybe try, "Should we order a few appetizers for the table?" People in social situations, like to be agreeable, so someone is likely to accent and you can take it from there.

p.s., Bang Bang Shrimp. Never had it. But now that some people raved, I must try it.

[Pat_RI]

You could try having the appetizer brought at the same time as your meal this may resolve the issue but then again would it still be an appetizer?

[getdul981]

This just occurred to me. If everyone feels that an appetizer should be shared or no one should have any, does that mean that if one person wants a dessert they have to share that too? Same difference, just on the other end of the meal.

[Yoda]

Originally Posted by Bill-n-Brillo

TH - I'll side with your perspective, without question.

Bill

Yoda

[chuckinca]

Originally Posted by getdul981

This just occurred to me. If everyone feels that an appetizer should be shared or no one should have any, does that mean that if one person wants a dessert they have to share that too? Same difference, just on the other end of the meal.

Yes, desserts are also shared.


Red needs to start another poll.


.

[thistrucksforyou]

How long have you been married ? Wife is always correct !

[Bryan]

You've got several questions going at once, some with different answers, so I think it is a matter of priorities.

First there is the question of "Manners" - yours and the others. I think good manners would say you make the offer to share and good manners would say the others would decline your offer. The problem with manners is that you control yours but can only observe others. You use good manners and make the offer and some of the others don't exercise the same good manners and accept, you end up with 'two small pieces'. Such is life. Life in not fair and birth is a terminal disease.

Then there is the question of etiquette - should you offer to share or not? I don't know, for sure. My suspicion is that etiquette is similar to manners.

Last is marital relations. Your bride wants you to make the offer. I thought I remembered somewhere that she is your bride of 39 years or so. That probably means she is a 'keeper'. In the interest of good marital relations, I would make the offer and smile!

So set your priorities. I suggest that good marital relations is a higher priority than the other two - but that is only my priority. Yours may be different.

I do very much like the one idea posted here of putting some portion of the appetizer (say about 1/3 of it) on a separate plate, offering to share and passing that plate. To me, that smacks of win-win all around.

[hedoman]

When "she who must be obeyed" orders an appetizer as an entree we ask it to be delivered when dinners are served. I usually pass on apps if nobody else is going to order just to avoid this situation......

[MrMark]

Originally Posted by Talk Host

I would like some opinions on an argu.. ah discussion that my wife and I are having. Let's see if I can explain this.

In a restaurant for dinner. There are two, three or four couples. As the pre-order discussion is had, it's said by someone (let's say me) "is anybody going to order an appetizer." Then all in attendance say "no."

Then I say, (example at BoneFish Grill) "I am going to have an order of the Bang Bang Shrimp" (which I love. That's the only thing there I really like)

Then, MY appetizer arrives, my wife thinks it's proper to share it around the table. I say it isn't.

Recently, six people, I was the only one to order a calamari appetizer. When it came, it got shared around the table, and by the time it got back to me, there were two little pieces left.

My position is that if they want something, they should order it. My wife's position is "what are you going to do, sit there and eat it in front of everybody without offering it?"

JLK

A simple solution might be to invite the entire group to select and share several different appetizers. Most often there will be quick agreement on which ones to order especially if the requester is an effective controller. Then the only issue that you will need to be concerned about is "double dipping"!

[redwitch]

Originally Posted by chuckinca

Yes, desserts are also shared.


Red needs to start another poll.


.

Sit on it and twirl, Chuck. I learned my lesson (maybe). I'll leave the polls to Tal.

BTW -- I hate to share my desserts. I don't mind someone asking for a taste so they can decide to order their own, but actualy sharing, um, NO! I am not passing my yummy chocolate whatever around the table for everyone to take a bite. You eat your dessert, I'll eat mine. If you want a taste, ask and I'll cut you off just enough so you can flavor but not so much that I feel like I didn't get enough. (One of the reasons why I rarely order a dessert.)

[Talk Host]

Originally Posted by Pturner

Sometimes, no one wants to be the first to speak up and order an appetizer, especially if they think they might be the only one. So, if you want an appetizer, instead of saying, "is anybody going to order an appetizer," maybe try, "Should we order a few appetizers for the table?" People in social situations, like to be agreeable, so someone is likely to accent and you can take it from there.

p.s., Bang Bang Shrimp. Never had it. But now that some people raved, I must try it.

This is probably the best advice so far. Maybe I could say, "I would like to treat the table to some appetizers, what shall we order." Or, "Have you ever tried the Bang Bang Shrimp? I'd like to treat the table to some appetizers, I'll order a few for us."

In regard to being prepared to pick up the check for the table all the time, I believe that is a social blunder.