[brfree1411@aol.com]

Our grands did not live in the same town. We visit, they visit then facetime is great! We miss them but still get to see them. Definitely worth this lifestyle.

[CoachKandSportsguy]

Originally Posted by Professor

Kids moved away after completing college to start their own lives. Grandchildren were 1,000 miles away from there...and 1,000 miles away from here, so there is no difference. You can't follow your children around the country hoping they will stay put. They move for job opportunities and other reasons. Making your own life and then visiting often works for us...

Totally agree with this! Some families are very independent, and move away, some families are very close and remain in the same area for a long time, sort of the American settlers types where some settled in pockets from the same homeland, and others struck out and went West or wherever to start independently.

Children under 10 are totally dependent upon parents and family members, so helping out there can work while parents are at work, etc, but then they want to have their own friends as they become more independent. .

Its a balance of age and independence of family, so there is no one answer, other than for separation, there is FaceTime, winter trips to FL and Disney and summer trips to them, which is why I have a truck and a travel trailer for the summer, both visiting them and visiting the other parts of the country, maybe with them, maybe not. .

[Michael G.]

I come from a Wisconsin farming community back in the 60's, and it seem to be the general consensus everyone
stayed living in the same area for years.

If you moved to another state, you broke the family chain and considered an outcast by my in-laws,
then treated us like outlaws.

Heaven forbid if you move to a foreign country.
The old folks would act like they'd never see you again.

Times are changing with family's

[Seasonal]

It's interesting (Not good or bad) how involved many boomers are in their grandchildren's lives. When boomers were young parents, it's unlikely that their parents were as active in their lives.

I think back to my mom, four kids under the age of 10. No help from anyone, not even dad. She is a great mom! (88 years old)

[DonnaNi4os]

Of course it was difficult to leave my kids and grandkids behind, but the plan was for frequent visits from FL to NJ, where 3 of my kids live, and from FL to TX where another was living. Then COVID hit and everything changed. My kids were not happy that I was moving, except for my daughter-in-law, and not for the reason you might think. She said it was the only way she would get my son to FL. Fast forward four years and my TX daughter has moved to Orlando and my son is moving his business to FL and house hunting. My daughter-in-law is thrilled! That brings half of my kids closer to me. I am thankful for FaceTime until I get visits. Before you completely abandon the idea of moving here, remember this…If their job took them out of state you would be there without them. It’s a very mobile society. Hopefully we will be past travel restrictions soon. All of that being said, my 8 grandkids are growing so quickly and I know I have missed out on a lot. Good luck to you.

[shut the front door]

Depends on how much of a "helicopter grandparent" you are. There are a lot more of those now than there were 40 years ago.
Me, I raised my kids. Not going to raise anymore, nor will I jump on a plane every time somebody needs a babysitter. Always told my kids, if you can't raise them, don't have them.

[Dorebea]

Just want thank you for posting this question. It is one my husband and i have been wrestling with for a couple years. Also thanks to everyone who replied. Your insights and experiences are helpful. Our three kids and their families each live in different directions from us. No one place to go. Where to live has been a challenge. You have given us good food for thought!

Hope to see you all when (if) we get there! 😂

[Aces4]

Originally Posted by shut the front door

Depends on how much of a "helicopter grandparent" you are. There are a lot more of those now than there were 40 years ago.
Me, I raised my kids. Not going to raise anymore, nor will I jump on a plane every time somebody needs a babysitter. Always told my kids, if you can't raise them, don't have them.

Isn’t it strange how other people’s decisions have to be weighed, judged and demeaned? So… would you be labeled a checked out, disinterested parent?

There is no wrong or right decision in moving away or staying in the vicinity for family. Seasonal FL living was our choice and that has gotten to be even less time in Florida.

There is a different world for our young grandchildren growing up and you cannot leave them with just anyone. Our children seldom ask us to help out, example once in the past two years. We have a large extended family including our children and grandchildren, numerous friends, good times and various interests. Our lives are full and we enjoy life with all generations of people more than just the senior population. Medical care is timely and available.

The Villages is beautiful but it doesn’t tick all the boxes for everyone, some of us need more. There’s nothing wrong with that, what would this world look like if everyone wanted to live in the same spot? The best any of us can do is to choose our individual happiness!

[Freeda]

I agree with what others have said about kids/grandkids moving away, etc; they have their own lives to live. One of our biggest factors in moving to Florida was the climate, and the ability to have a more active, healthy, livestyle, and the healthy factor of frequent sunshine (though we wear hats when outside!!), here as we age. A tradeoff we made is that we feel we increase the chances of living long and healthy lives because of that, so we have that positive thought in our lives, with less stress of worrying about our health. Our kids live in less favorable climates, as we did before moving here, and also, they mostly got a late start with having babies, so some of ours are still toddlers, and some are still unborn; so we'd like to be around for all of them as long as possible. Yes, we sometimes think it would be fun to live where family lives, but our kids live in different places. We visit each other several times a year; and we use facetime and Facebook portal to videochat with them. Further, since our visits with each other are usually only a few days at a time, we do usually stay in each other's homes when we visit, so we have a lot of quality time with the grands and the kids when we're together. After our first year here, this psychologically became home to us, so we get homesick for our lifestyle in TV and for our friends (some are like family to us) here when we are gone. Whenever we leave them at the end of a visit, there is always that 'pang' of separation; but I have learned to remind myself "for every goodbye, there will be another hello"; and we have learned to expect that it will take us about 24 hours after a visit ends to get past that melancholy period; then we are back in the swing of things here, while still keeping in touch with them.

[Tripngirl]

Originally Posted by vonbork

As is obvious from the posts, it all depends on you. We moved from RI and my wife said she wanted to move but we "lost" the entire first year as she dealt with separation anxiety from being away from her family. We are glad that we are here now, but would I put her through the stress again? I doubt it.

Hi there - Saw your posting and said "oh ya, that is so true." My husband and I sold our home in June in MA. and purchased and moved into our courtyard in September....went back to MA. in December for holidays :and that's when it hit us...we really miss all the people and family back there...so we now are in the process of purchasing a home on Cape Cod. We really thought we were going to be permanent year round Villages.....think more like Snowbirds now Ya just never know........

[Garywt]

Part of the reason we are not full time. Our daughter and grandson live with us so we will never sell the house while he needs a place to live. Of course any of them can come to Florida to visit. In addition to our northern house we have a camper and boat in NH so we have the summers with them anyway. This year was good as we have had over 6 weeks in Florida so far with at least one more trip down before we close up for the summer.

[Laker14]

For me, (Grandad), visits and FaceTime are pretty adequate. I don't need to be part of their daily lives. It's a trade-off of course. I miss some joy of the nearly daily interaction I'd have if I lived closer, but I'd also be on the hook more often for babysitting and crisis intervention. I'm happy with our distances. We live on a lake in NY State, and get plenty of family time. Being down here is newish, as this is our first full winter here, but it looks as if 3 of the 5 family units will find a way to come visit us here, as well as in the summer on the lake. So I'm very happy, and feel very lucky.
Mrs Grandma, I think, misses the daily interaction more than I do. Taken as a whole, however, I think she'd rather have it the way we have it than be stuck up north all winter, even though she'd be closer to the grandies.

[NotGolfer]

Depends on the family. We came down 12 yrs ago and thought about that question. BUT we have only two grandkids and they were both teens back then. WHEN we lived nearby---we "might" see them for seconds as they passed through on their way to meet friends. If they'd been babies or toddlers or even younger grade-schoolers "maybe" we'd have waited to relocate.
NOW they're young adults---one is married and the other in a "relationship". They are polite around us and will chat but seem like they can't wait to be somewhere else. Our "kids" have circumstances that make it difficult (some medical and some---well I don't have to explain it here) for them to visit us here OR for us to visit them there. We're at the point in LIFE---if they want to see us then they need to make the effort to come this way. We did it til Covid.....so we'll just hunker here.

[Laker14]

Originally Posted by Freeda

I agree with what others have said about kids/grandkids moving away, etc; they have their own lives to live. One of our biggest factors in moving to Florida was the climate, and the ability to have a more active, healthy, livestyle, and the healthy factor of frequent sunshine (though we wear hats when outside!!), here as we age. A tradeoff we made is that we feel we increase the chances of living long and healthy lives because of that, so we have that positive thought in our lives, with less stress of worrying about our health. Our kids live in less favorable climates, as we did before moving here, and also, they mostly got a late start with having babies, so some of ours are still toddlers, and some are still unborn; so we'd like to be around for all of them as long as possible. Yes, we sometimes think it would be fun to live where family lives, but our kids live in different places. We visit each other several times a year; and we use facetime and Facebook portal to videochat with them. Further, since our visits with each other are usually only a few days at a time, we do usually stay in each other's homes when we visit, so we have a lot of quality time with the grands and the kids when we're together. After our first year here, this psychologically became home to us, so we get homesick for our lifestyle in TV and for our friends (some are like family to us) here when we are gone. Whenever we leave them at the end of a visit, there is always that 'pang' of separation; but I have learned to remind myself "for every goodbye, there will be another hello"; and we have learned to expect that it will take us about 24 hours after a visit ends to get past that melancholy period; then we are back in the swing of things here, while still keeping in touch with them.

My experience exactly.

[tophcfa]

Easy for me, not so much for my wife. Must be a woman thing with the kids. And what’s up with having to go to all the kids birthdays, and why can’t they all be born in the same month, instead of each one being born on just about every dam month of the year? The kids make trying to plan extended stays at our Villages home way more difficult than should be necessary: ( It used to be good news when we learned of a new addition to the family. Unfortunately, now I cringe every time I learn a new Villages obstacle is on the way! Why can’t a good visit around the Fourth of July and another around Christmas be enough?