[ajbrown]

Originally Posted by ilovetv

It has to do with federal laws against age discrimination in housing (in this case against children and people under 55), and the federal exemption given for a 55+ community. Twenty percent can be under 55 with this, below, and then TV has its own added restriction of nobody under age 19 living here.

See Questions 14 and 15 at:

http://www.hud.gov/offices/fheo/library/hopa95.pdf

I don't know how anybody here could not want some people under age 55 and over 19 living here. Many people get really stiff and crabby after age 70 and it's good to have some new blood and youth around to balance it out.

The Villages does allow 20% to be under 55. I only state it like that because they do not have to. If you look at the link above, specifically question 16, you will see they legally could change the 80% to 100%. I know this first hand as we were denied buying a condo in a 55+ community in MA as I was 52. I proudly told them I already own a home in a 55+ community but they dd not care....

I have owned in TV since I was 51 years old. I have never encountered any comments that you describe. I have no doubt what folks are saying is real and sadly it leads me to only one conclusion: I look OLD for my age

[sharonga]

My husband and I look young. We are not in great physical shape!!!! Sometimes we are asked if we are here visiting our parents!!! I love it!!!! Soon enough they will stop asking!!

[redwitch]

Gracie, one of the women I play bridge with looks pretty young. She is over 55 but most definitely does not look her age (maybe 40-45 but no older). I've heard people tell her she has no business living in an over-55 community; she should not be using Villages resources since she's not eligible to live here; can't she find a place to live with people her own age. Truly mean and obnoxious comments and, in her case, totally unfounded. She is one of the most gracious people I've ever met and replies gently that she is in fact very entitled to live here and thanks them for thinking she is so young. Me? I'd deck a couple of these biddies.

I have great sympathy for anyone under 55 living here. They are a minority and frequently treated as such. They do get rude comments and nasty looks, usually by the "ladies" in their late 60's, early 70's. Jealousy? Maybe. Lack of knowledge of retirement community laws? Definitely. Protectiveness of the community? Possibly.

Fortunately, there are just as many who welcome these younger residents. I hope FloridaNative has found this to be true as well.

FloridaNative, definitely try to ignore the rudeness you and your wife encounter and have some pity for these folks who don't know the laws and are jealous of your youth and ability to retire young. For those trying to protect the community, thank them because they are protecting your interests as well (even if dead wrong).

[BettyCrocked]

Originally Posted by redwitch

I have great sympathy for anyone under 55 living here. They are a minority and frequently treated as such. They do get rude comments and nasty looks, usually by the "ladies" in their late 60's, early 70's. Jealousy? Maybe. Lack of knowledge of retirement community laws? Definitely. Protectiveness of the community? Possibly.

Fortunately, there are just as many who welcome these younger residents. I hope FloridaNative has found this to be true as well.

Well said, Redwitch. One of the biggest reasons we bought our retirement home there is because everybody appeared to be SOO happy while we were visiting. I encounter a lot of "old biddies" who aren't happy if they aren't complaining where I live now, so the attitude there was very refreshing. Imagine my surprise when I start seeing comments that sound more like the 6th grade bully than a mature adult!

[rayschic]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

Rayshic?

Are they all nasty? Or just sort of back handed complements. I know a girl of 90 and she is beautiful and she is always getting..."You are way too young to live here". And she generally receives that compliment with her usual grace.

I sort of look on youth and the appearance of youth as a lovely blessing just as the blessing of skill or athletic ability. I kind of have been taught that we don't put those advantages out to others and especially to those who do not have them. It seems obvious in a community of mostly over 55 people that those who are younger are generally more fit and more attractive. Sometimes it is hard to tell. This whole issue just doesn't sit right with me. I have spent the entire morning trying to see the ugliness in my soul and I am sure it is my character weakness somehow.

I would like to hear just what kind of rude comments do older people address toward younger residents? I am aware of the reverse, unfortunately. Sometimes groups of younger prople form to exclude older ones here and I am told that that is because older people and younger people do not have the same interests. I am still trying to understand all this.

I know that I was beginning to disappear in my whole spectrum age community up North. Strangers often would look through me. If this has happened to you, you will know what I mean. I love that here we are all somewhat the same age and have many of the same life experiences. We have launched our families, had interesting work, managed to save and sacrifice enough to quit working and had enough courage to leave the familiar to begin a new life. It just feels nice to be with age peers, give or take 30 or 40 years. I still love young people and have not forgotten how to speak their language but am glad to be with people who have been there and done that in life.

This whole thread has made me feel bad.... And especially when people I think very much of were shocked at my attitude. I most certainly must be wrong.

Well, here's two examples. You can decide.
For several years, we owned two homes. One we lived in, one we rented out.
Comment from neighbor " How can you possibly afford to own two homes in TV. You're too young...did your parents die and leave you their money ?"

Another neighbor asks EVERY time I see him, if I am working. Then he proceeds to tell me that I SHOULD get a job. I'm too young to be retired. I should continue working and I'll have plenty of time to enjoy what TV has to offer....LATER.

There are many more. I blame just the individual and try to just ignore them.
I'm too busy enjoying TV.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by rayschic

Well, here's two examples. You can decide.
For several years, we owned two homes. One we lived in, one we rented out.
Comment from neighbor " How can you possibly afford to own two homes in TV. You're too young...did your parents die and leave you their money ?"

Another neighbor asks EVERY time I see him, if I am working. Then he proceeds to tell me that I SHOULD get a job. I'm too young to be retired. I should continue working and I'll have plenty of time to enjoy what TV has to offer....LATER.

There are many more. I blame just the individual and try to just ignore them.
I'm too busy enjoying TV.

I would chalk that up to general bad manners and gross insensitivity.

Just as I do when I hear people call people "old biddies". I think that people of all ages suffer from that at times, consarned meanness.. I include myself. Age has no bearing on being just generally unkind. I am sorry to hear of these remarks. They aren't right on either end of the scale. Bill-n-Brillo who Sweetie and I consider to be close friends are pretty close to young enough to be our children, but they never treat us as if we belonged to an older generation and we don't think of them as our children.

It takes work to be kind and fair from the young and the old-er. The young will be old-er and if they are mean and snippy when they are young, then I guess they turn into "old biddies".

Gracie.
Who hopes she isn't mean and snippy..or an old biddy.

[manaboutown]

Originally Posted by rayschic

I moved down here in my forties and have been here almost 8 years. I still get lots of nasty comments about being too young to be here. I have noticed that it is a lot of the same people. For example, my street used to have monthly parties and at EVERY party, two of the couples would corner me and grill me about why I lived here. At first, I was offended because I felt they were being pretty rude. But, after they kept bringing it up at EVERY party, I just excuse myself to talk to someone else and laugh it off. Some peolple will NOT change their opinion that younger people don't deserve to be here. I have also gotten a few snide remarks at the pool. You just can't change how OTHER people feel, so try to just laugh it off. It's not worth getting upset about. I don't expect to get these comments much longer. LOL

The lady I referenced in a previous post lives in a 55 and over community that REQUIRES one spouse to be over 55, Laguna Woods Village, CA. While not as large as TV, LWV is large enough to boast several clubhouses and pools. She and her husband have now resided there eight years, since she was 53. She is now 61 years of age and still has "movie star" face, hair, teeth and figure thanks to her genetics and her healthy lifestyle. Think Suzanne Somers six years ago at the same age. She suffers the comments, mostly from obese, older, out of shape married women but also from the Casserole Brigade widows and divorcees. To my knowledge no man has ever said anything derogatory to her there. She recently informed me the comments have dwindled because so many people know her there now and she is, after all, aging. Both she and her husband have been very active as homeowner association officers and in other leadership positions. Nonetheless, a couple of weeks ago we were having lunch at the LWV country club and while enjoying our food on the patio I noticed several (with apologies to Gracie) "old biddies" giving her the evil eye. I really think she has simply gotten used to it. Too, because their community is located within a heavily populated urban region most of their activities are outside the gates among the general populace rather than mostly confined within a self-contained community located out in the boondocks. This makes their situation doable. Plus, she happens to have always had many elderly friends and truly enjoys being around much older folks.

In my research on 55 and over communities I have done a lot of reading of works by sociologists, anthropologists and the like. In one, a Seal Beach Leisureworld 70 year old woman is quoted. She said "Who the heck would want to be in here if you're under 55?...I guess its OK as long as they don't start having babies."

[vito711]

I agree, you have every right to live and play here.

[ilovetv]

Ummmm.....why don't the older residents take it as a compliment: that younger people like it here because most residents are NOT "old biddies" or "old farts"?

We have many neighbors and friends who are joyful and young-at-heart in their 70s and 80s. We like being with them because they're well-off and secure in themselves, and not out to impress anybody!

[Dgreenbucks]

It's simple, if you live here and you are way under the set age group of 55; you must be in honor of how good we have made it? People in general do not like it when rules are not abided by, enough said. Most of the people here want it over 55 that's why we are here, period. That said nothing is sacred and somebody it always going to want it their way or no way. Just remember to act your age even if you want to be 21 again.

[perrjojo]

Yes, some make comments about the young and the young make comments about the old. I always reassure my self that those who are old have been young. If lucky those who are young will become old. I have been the obnoxious young one and now I get repaid by listening to young people disparage older folks. My best revenge is knowing that those young will become old too and they will get referred to as old biddies. :-). Gracie, as a woman I know exactly what you mean about becoming "invisible".

[twinklesweep]

Originally Posted by floridanative17

I Am 48, I am a retired U.S. Army Combat Veteran, and I am a property owner in The Villages for the last 6 years; and I receive challenges daily when I visit my local Rec Center and Pool, but I always present my Villages ID and then receive inquiries in regards to my residential status. Regardless of my appearance, I am retired Villages homeowner. That said, I am tired of the constant queries. I bought here as a retiree due to the high resale value and the high neighborhood upkeep. My property has increasing value and I aim to maintain this; so, seriously, why the age bias?

I'm not doubting your experience or that of other younger posters on this thread who have encountered what floridanative17 opened the thread with, but I'd have to say that in all the years I've been here, I have NEVER encountered this attitude. I can't even wrap my head around comments like those described in one of the squares, which are public places and attract many non-residents. How could anyone there know that you necessarily lived here? If I were in this position (and trust me, I'm waaaaaay too old for it to happen; floridanative 17 could easily be my son!), I would focus on not giving these mindless twits free rent in my head, and I would have available a smart-aleck (but polite) response. Don't be surprised, though, if it doesn't shut them up; people like that all too often are uneducable....

[Mark1130]

Originally Posted by Bosoxfan

I was 52 when we first bought here so I kind of know how you're feeling. I'm now 56 and still feel like I'm too young to be here.Most people we're friendly with have anywhere from 5 to 15 years on me so at times it's hard to relate .I guess when these folks look at us it may be difficult for them.JMO

I know the feeling too BoSoxfan.

I am 53 and get the same compliment or treatment about being too young. I feel a lot younger than my age and have difficulty at times relating to others. Part of it I think is that I still have a full time career and still in the real working world. I hope that will end soon.

[amybelles]

I have found this thread both interesting and sad! I am a soon to be homeowner at TV and new to posting here. I will be 55 next month and my husband is just about 64. I wasn't sure I wanted to live in TV before I visited, because I thought everyone would be over 55! I was pleasantly surprised and happy to see people of various ages (and also excited to see children when we went to the family pool-I am a newly retired second grade teacher and will be missing having young kids in my life.) I was also happy to see so many "older folks" active and fit, enjoying life! That's how I want to spend the rest of my life!

I have friends both young and old...it's not age that matters, but people's attitude and love for life! Unfortunately, there is discrimination of all types in this world, and I guess TV is no exception to this! My answer is to seek out the happy people and ignore those who complain or are resentful of others. Whatever you seek and pay attention to is what you will find!

[Lynn222]

I think that if this is your biggest life problem, you are fortunate...I'm just sayin.