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The Younger Crowd at The Villages

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  #16  
Old 10-10-2012, 07:09 AM
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We will be moving into our home in The Villages next summer with our 19 year old daughter. She is planning to attend the community college in Leesburg to start her higher education.
We have been coming down with her for about 5 years, she loves The Villages and sees that there is a younger crowd in the town squares and surrounding communities. There are churches as someone mentioned filled with families. We have been attending Heritage Community in Wildwood when we are in town.
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Old 10-10-2012, 07:18 AM
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It seems to me that there are quite a few young people hanging in the town squares at night. I often wonder where they come from. I also noticed a lot of teenagers on a Friday night and some to a few of them. They said they come there every Friday night.

I'm not saying there is a huge percentage of twenty something, but I'd say there's 15% or so of people under 50.
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Old 10-10-2012, 07:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Dr Winston O Boogie jr View Post
It seems to me that there are quite a few young people hanging in the town squares at night. I often wonder where they come from. I also noticed a lot of teenagers on a Friday night and some to a few of them. They said they come there every Friday night.

I'm not saying there is a huge percentage of twenty something, but I'd say there's 15% or so of people under 50.
From neighboring communities and children of people who work in the villages and live adjacent to us?
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Old 10-10-2012, 08:02 AM
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I am sure your son will find friends down here if not in The Villages. in the surrounding communties. There is a community college close by maybe he could transfer there. I am sure you already know that he can not use the pools, free golf etc without a villages ID card. Inorder to get a ID card he must be a permenant resident of Florida with a Florida drivers licence. And of course he can't use the neighborhood pool. You must be 30 years of age.
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Old 10-10-2012, 08:28 AM
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Thanks for the reply. And yes...we're aware of some restrictions. But he is a permanent resident of FL and has a FL DL. So he should be okay for many amenities. There are some pools that he could use also, right? (It's just the "neighborhood" pools that are 30-years and older?) The main thing he'd probably want access to is an exercise facility of some sort and a pool of some sort...even if it wasn't a neighborhood pool.

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...I am sure you already know that he can not use the pools, free golf etc without a villages ID card. Inorder to get a ID card he must be a permenant resident of Florida with a Florida drivers licence. And of course he can't use the neighborhood pool. You must be 30 years of age.
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Old 10-10-2012, 08:34 AM
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My 20 year olds were here for the first time this summer. They thought it was splendid for us but found it difficult to locate anyone their age. So Applebees? That is where they go? Anyone know the website or facebook or internet connection so they can make contact before they get here?
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Old 10-10-2012, 09:04 AM
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Of course I don't know your son, but I would be very wary of "e-school." The education that you get from these schools is suspect to say the least, the "credits" he gets will probably not transfer to any other school. Not "finding ones niche" is a common cop out by young people today, e-schools allow them to stay at home and be less than truthful about how much they are doing. He's 20, out of HS for a couple of years, should have discovered his "niche" by now. If he's going to school, he should be enrolled in a recognized community college - full time. There is apparently work in the construction trades or landscaping, let him work full time and I'll bet he finds his niche very quickly.
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Old 10-10-2012, 09:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee View Post
I kinda sorta get the feeling you are looking for us to make you feel better about this impending move with a 20 year old, and I don't really think anyone can do that for you.

Make the move, bring him along - probably kicking and screaming - and he will either settle down here, or find his own way elsewhere. We were forced into doing something very similar to this due to an overseas promotion and we all survived, but it was a REAL bumpy ride. Good luck with this.
Madelaine has an interesting slant on things. All of the 20 somethings we've known would NOT want to be living with their parents. Couldn't he get an apartment in a neighborhing community.

They can do college courses "online" and still work a job. Our daughter is taking courses online (grad school level) has three children, a big house, a husband, etc. to take care of and still teaches school days while commuting to get various endorsements on top of her already earned masters degree and bachelors degree from a university.......just more specialization at the moment. They can do "e school " as you call it while working a job days.

To clarify, she lived away for the first four years at college.......then moved out of state to work on an island.......then moved back to get her masters....all the time supporting herself, paying her own rent. We only paid the tuition. This online school is some 20 years later for a specialty course.

We have another young friend who works in the hospital days with her masters degree while getting an M.B.A. "online" doing her home work and papers in the evening after work. She did the same as our daughter, got her bachelors "away" and then her first "masters".......and doing the M.B.A. to move up at the hospital.

Except for one family member who is 30 and still tied to his mother's apron strings, most younger folks look forward to flying away from the nest at age 17 or 18 to head off for dorm life at the university; moving up to their own "shared apartments" with roommates......graduating at 22 and totally becoming independent at that time.

Both of ours left our state after graduating at age 22.......moved long distances away, rented a house or apartment on their own or with a buddy and survived.

I would have kept them home forever but they were independent enough to "grow" and live on their own.

Our son moved out west soon after he graduated from the University of Vermont...........made a good life for himself out there; literally drove out without a job and immediately found one...........a few years later he went back to school to the Univ. of Colorado in Boulder for his M.B.A.......supporting himself the entire time he lived out west..........again, he's made an amazing life for himself and traveled the world these past almost 20 years.............they both WANTED TO BE INDEPENDENT.

Personally, I do not think a 20 year old would be happy living with their parents or in a retirement community.

Maybe our state raises very independent type "kids" but everyone we know flew the coop after graduating college.......following four years living away from home while at a university. That was a gradual easing into total independence.

I have a lot of young friends who are young parents with children, to whom I'm a surrogate grandmother..........they all came from wonderful families..........and yet, believe me, none of them wanted to stay living at home, if they could help it.

p.s. Re online schools: I also had my doubts when several college grads we knew with masters degrees, from well known universities, began taking ONLINE COURSES from two top well known e-schools , however, for those who already have their graduate and undergraduate degrees and just need a "specialty" or "endorsement" , to save the moving away to live near the school , such as in the case of a mom with children...........apparently, they love just getting up early in the morning to study and do their papers online..........I've heard this over and over again. Now, some who never have the campus experience at all, I'm not so sure.
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Old 10-10-2012, 09:10 AM
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Oooohh...a bit harsh.

I probably wasn't clear enough. We're not doing anything TO our son. We're moving to TV to live our retirement. We're not trying to move somewhere to accommodate his needs. He may just need to join us for a while. That's all.
I think he'd love to live here for a while with you. There is a very good college in Leesburg if he wants to finish his education and save money while living with you. I am sure he could find friends around. We are "only" 60 years old now, but when we lived in Orlando, our 20-something son lived with us for a couple years, it was fine. Now he has his degree and is living in California...I would much rather he live closer!
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Old 10-10-2012, 09:24 AM
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Every young person is different, and many young people have needs that transcend flying the coop, leaving their family, funding an apartment, going off and living somewhere else with others or on their own, going to traditional university. There are so many comments in this thread that assume that every child is alike and also some very discouraging remarks. The person writing asked about other young people in The Villages and area. She did not ask opinions on where and how her son should be educated, when he should leave home, what type of job he should be ready to take on, when he should be prepared to be away from his parents. You have no idea the journey this young man has been on and I think he is lucky and his parents are lucky that whatever road that is, he is able to be well enough, strong enough, and secure enough to be with family while he plans his next life stage. Not everyone has children that follow a traditional path, and having fostered 55 children all with different needs, and seeing some not survive their journey, I believe it is a blessing to have a child alive, searching, and developing their way, even if it means being with parents at different stages, than left out somewhere drifting with no support, guidance or love. I commend these parents for loving their son and allowing him to be with them while they go to their next stage in life, and making room for their son to thrive at this place, at this time, with his needs today.
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Old 10-10-2012, 10:13 AM
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Originally Posted by jane032657 View Post
Every young person is different, and many young people have needs that transcend flying the coop, leaving their family, funding an apartment, going off and living somewhere else with others or on their own, going to traditional university. There are so many comments in this thread that assume that every child is alike and also some very discouraging remarks. The person writing asked about other young people in The Villages and area. She did not ask opinions on where and how her son should be educated, when he should leave home, what type of job he should be ready to take on, when he should be prepared to be away from his parents. You have no idea the journey this young man has been on and I think he is lucky and his parents are lucky that whatever road that is, he is able to be well enough, strong enough, and secure enough to be with family while he plans his next life stage. Not everyone has children that follow a traditional path, and having fostered 55 children all with different needs, and seeing some not survive their journey, I believe it is a blessing to have a child alive, searching, and developing their way, even if it means being with parents at different stages, than left out somewhere drifting with no support, guidance or love. I commend these parents for loving their son and allowing him to be with them while they go to their next stage in life, and making room for their son to thrive at this place, at this time, with his needs today.
...................

Last edited by Peachie; 10-10-2012 at 07:01 PM. Reason: decision
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Old 10-10-2012, 10:13 AM
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Originally Posted by jane032657 View Post
Every young person is different, and many young people have needs that transcend flying the coop, leaving their family, funding an apartment, going off and living somewhere else with others or on their own, going to traditional university. There are so many comments in this thread that assume that every child is alike and also some very discouraging remarks. The person writing asked about other young people in The Villages and area. She did not ask opinions on where and how her son should be educated, when he should leave home, what type of job he should be ready to take on, when he should be prepared to be away from his parents. You have no idea the journey this young man has been on and I think he is lucky and his parents are lucky that whatever road that is, he is able to be well enough, strong enough, and secure enough to be with family while he plans his next life stage. Not everyone has children that follow a traditional path, and having fostered 55 children all with different needs, and seeing some not survive their journey, I believe it is a blessing to have a child alive, searching, and developing their way, even if it means being with parents at different stages, than left out somewhere drifting with no support, guidance or love. I commend these parents for loving their son and allowing him to be with them while they go to their next stage in life, and making room for their son to thrive at this place, at this time, with his needs today.
Jane, you are correct in that they can all be different.
That said, I am familiar with fostering and adoption.

For years we thought we'd never have a grandchild until a very special six year old came into our lives, first as a foster child and then as an adopted child a few days after 911 occurred. Sure enough, she was followed by two babies, a brother and a sister, who loved and looked up to her all these years.

Likewise, she was nurturing to them. Our daughter and her husband did a wonderful job of parenting, but those first five years were totally "lost"; I'm sure you know what I mean.

We are very close and this now 18 year old cannot wait to spread her wings and fly the coop.......she and 7 other girlfriends are working hard to be able to afford their first apartment. Actually, they want to rent a house, which is available, in a college town........but as we showed her, they need the first month security deposit plus first and last month's rent, etc..........school didn't come easy for her (as it did for the next babies) so she will be attending a community college and is , and has been, working a full time job...........but she still wants her own place.

I think it's natural and normal for the young folks to leave the nest.

My husband and I dated for three years from 17 until we got engaged at 19, married at 20.......so 20 is NOT too young to leave the nest.

We paid for our own wedding, paid for our own honeymoon, paid for our own first three rooms of brand new furniture........plus the three months "rent" on a garden apartment, brand new, in New Jersey.....plus bought a brand new car......all at age 19, turning 20. Wages were NOT high in those days either. Three years later we began our family. We bought our first home....at age 22. It can be done.

Our folks were great.......but neither of us , honestly, would have wanted to live with our parents..........it was during the Viet Nam era and I had just given birth to our first born.........and my husband's tank unit was supposed to get called up..........we discussed whether to go home to my mom or his mom or stay in the new little house we had just bought.
I was 22, he was 23.........we stayed put and luckily, he was only called to Fort Knox, Kentucky........but not for long.

If there are no health issues, I think kids should learn how to pay rent and buy groceries and do laundry.........I come to this conclusion at an older age.

Originally, I thought they would graduate college........move back to their childhood bedrooms (ha ha) buy the "suit" and go out on job interviews..........forgetting that in our little town there are not many jobs for college grads.............

Getting back to soldiers and such.......think of the young 17 and 18 year olds who go into the service and leave the nest to be thrown into battle in a war zone.......many of these brave men and women are much younger than 20.

Last edited by senior citizen; 10-11-2012 at 05:25 AM.
  #28  
Old 10-10-2012, 10:34 AM
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My 27 year old loves it here , to visit but not to live. Would not advise it for someone that young and just starting out in life ...
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Old 10-10-2012, 10:43 AM
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My main point is that we do not know what the circumstances of this young man's life are so maybe there are issues that make it is a struggle to do what we all dream our children will do. I do have three children of my own, 29,28 and 26, all university educated, my 29 year old son just bought a house in Toronto which is the same value as our home in Seattle, with his wife; my 26 year daughter old bought a house in Seattle when she was 24 years old. They all have jobs. They all, thank G-d, are strong, young, independent people with careers. My husband has two sons who are a sophmore and senior at universities in Washington State, 19 and 21 years old, bright and forward children. However, in a heartbeat, if there was a need, an issue, a problem, a glitch in the road of life, our door is open, a safe place awaits them, and support is there to adress whatever is the issue and then move forward again. Do any of them long to live with us? No. Do any of them dream of moving to The Villages to enjoy pickleball and dancing in the town square? No. Would they have trust and faith that if they needed shelter and support for a period of time, there is a room available and a loving family to help them on their journey? Yes. So to me I see these parents doing the same thing not knowing what particular need their child has. I do not judge or make assumptions, because anyone's child's life can change in an instant and so you do what you need to do to help them through the transition. We are all so proud of our children who do so many wonderful things, and better yet, do it with their own self will, independence, money, and do it successfully. I know I am. But let's be supportive of parents who are supportive of their children when it is needed and remember you do not know what goes on behind closed doors and what path parents have walked with their children. We all want our kids to fly but sometimes an injured wing has to heal before that is possible.
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Old 10-10-2012, 12:29 PM
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I won't bother quoting anybody here. And believe me, I know that everybody is entitled to their opinion and the right to express it. I even welcome and appreciate it...honest! But that being said, I must also say...

jane032657 is the one who really gets it and is responding to the question I posed...along with several of you others also. I'm simply looking to get some input regarding what to expect if my son comes and lives with us for a while. That's it!

For example, comments have been made about the dangers of e-school. My son's work has been done at a fully accredited brick-and-mortar college that happens to offer e-courses as part of their curriculum. Every credit he's earned is fully transferable. That's just addressing one of the many off-topic issues that have been raised. I respect your concerns, but again...I'm simply looking for information regarding what to expect if/when my son comes along and spends a little time living in TV.
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