[Jerseygirl08]

Originally Posted by 2BNTV

FWIW - I think you have made the right decision for you and your husband.
Being at peace within one's soul is priceless. I'm sure your children will feel better being closer and will want to help you with things that need to be done.

May you and your have a happy holiday season and a happy new year.

Mommie: Wondering how things are going for you and your husband. Loved reading this incredible story of love and family.

[DianeM]

You know it's time to go home when your heart longs for the people you love and miss.

[Futurevillager2013]

You sound very sad. If you are depressed you should speak to a professional regarding this. Depression isn't something to take lightly. It is very common to want things to be the way they once were. It is important to know that things cannot be the way the once were and that isn't always a bad thing. Time changes things, children become adults and their independence tells us we have done a wonderful job raising them to become the independant adults they are. Missing them is very common especially if you are experiencing challenging times. Pray that the answer will come to you and it will. Don't dwell on finding the answer from someone else. You will find the answer yourself. What is best for you will happen. You will know what to do when the time is right.

Hope this helps.

A- from Collier

[ping]

I'm not at that point yet, but have given it some thought. Of course being around your family is comforting in some ways, but also stressful. I would hate to put my children in the position of caregiver. It would be a burden on them ( no matter how willing they were) and I do not want that. Rather deal with a health care person who is paid to do the job. I would in your case, stay put and take advantage of the assistance the Villages provide. I would do whatever it takes to stay where the weather allows you get out, where there are people with whom you can spent time, where you are happiest. Your children have their own life, you live yours life where it is best for you.

[senior citizen]

.........

[Bonnevie]

as the single mother of an only son, one of the reasons I moved here was so I'd have things to do in my senior years. I have jokingly told him I'll have my assisted living facility chosen before I need it so he doesn't have to worry about me.

[looneycat]

Originally Posted by mommieswamie

I don't know. I am having a hard time hearing it. Something else keeps saying "I don't want to leave the beautiful life that we used to have."

maybe it's time to invite them down, Florida is a great destination...

[2BNTV]

Mommieswamie:

As time goes by, your heart and mind will be at peace and a correct decision will be made. Only you will know, when you are at peace with your decision.

[pooh]

Just an update for all....mommie has indeed moved from TV. I will let her provide as much or as little info as she wishes to, when she wishes to or when she can.

[Jerseygirl08]

My best regards to Mommie. Hoping she and her husband are doing well, are happy as can be, enjoying the children and grandchildren.

[jblum315]

This thread is a year old and sad and never really resolved.

[Djembe dude]

Why would anyone want to burden their children, they have a life of their own.

[senior citizen]

...........

[mommieswamie]

I just happened onto this thread that I started quite a while ago and saw that there were some additional comments and postings long beyond what I realized was here.

This thread is sad and not really resolved but life can be sad and not resolved, but at the same time happy and fulfilling. I am learning that attitude is not everything but it helps.

We did move to another state close to one of our children in Dec, 2012, but we returned to The Villages in Jan, 2013. The reasons were many and complicated, but in retrospect it was not a good decision to return as it led to many more months of illness and struggles away from our children who wanted us to be closer.

And so the decision was made again, but this time with more peace and resolve and acceptance of increased illness.

In September we left The Villages again and are now very close to one of our children. My husband is well cared for in a facility about 6 miles from a little house that I have bought. Our youngest daughter and her growing family (#10 grandchild is on the way - we have 6 children total) lives about 6 miles the other direction.

We are not a burden to our children. This I know for sure. We are not only closer to children and grandchildren, but cousins, nieces and nephews too. I now have help with caregiving and the joy of living close to some of my grandchildren is wonderful. I was even able to leave for a week to visit other grandchildren in a different state since I now had someone else to be available for caregiving for my husband. I had not visited them in 4 years.

My husband is closer to me, where as in Florida he was 35 miles away. I am able to spend more time with him. While there are still mountains to climb, many aspects of life as easier and more rewarding.

And - guess what folks - it's not all one way - I am the resident computer expert. My children are thrilled to have me close enough to fix their computers in person, not just over the phone. How many of you have adult children who call you to fix their computers. I do and it's lots of fun.

So we have moved on. And now that we have, I do not feel like it was "giving up", but just the next phase of life. This was the right decision for us. Last winter, it was not the right decision. Life comes in statges or chapters and now we have gone on to the next chapter. The golden retirement years in Florida are over for us. It was one of the many beautiful chapters in our life.

I am really flattered and heartened by the many kindnesses expressed in this thread. I remember very well the night of sleepless crying that led to the start of this thread. We finally came to the best decision for us. It may not be right for all but it works for us. Caregiving is a very lonely job without the support of family. We are blessed that we were wanted.

[lanabanana73]

So happy to have an update. Thank you. Life really is divided into chapters as we write the story of our life, isn't it? And, there is much to be said for the peace that comes as we recognize where we have control and where it's best to give up a little of that control. Hugs to you and thanks so much for sharing a part of your journey!