[blueash]

I'll only add that the origin of the word discipline is the same as the word disciple and docent. A docent is a teacher, a disciple is a learner. When you discipline you are teaching and your child is learning. You can teach your child to hit to solve problems or find a better way.

[quirky3]

Originally Posted by blueash

I'll only add that the origin of the word discipline is the same as the word disciple and docent. A docent is a teacher, a disciple is a learner. When you discipline you are teaching and your child is learning. You can teach your child to hit to solve problems or find a better way.

Exactly. Violence toward children begets violence toward future generations. Is that what we want?

[jbdlfan]

When you discipline is it to punish or are you really just trying to redirect or modify behavior? Which serves as a better outcome? I would believe that being able to modify "bad" behavior or poor decision making could be better served through other means. As I mentioned in another thread, many times today, parents will not take privileges away because they don't want to be inconvenienced. If one grounds a child from activities or material things, they will have to now deal with the child directly.
One of the most effective punishments we ever applied to one of our children was when our son was prohibited to play two games of his baseball season. He not only missed the chance to play, he had to explain to his coach and teammates what he did and apologize for letting them down. Worked quite well in our home.

[Happinow]

Originally Posted by CFrance

Please don't blame that on those of us who raised kids without hitting them. We taught them discipline.

Blame it on the lazy parents who never taught their kids manners and respect for authority. That has nothing to do with hitting them. In fact, I would wonder if the violent kids weren't raised by violent parents.

Well said. I am strongly against hitting or spanking children. I feel it is the lazy parents way out. I know a lot of people who never spanked their children and they are the most upstanding, smart, and respectable kids that I know. Discipline without spanking takes time, creativity and self control and I believe that a lot of parents these days don't have that. Violence begets violence.

[Golfingnut]

Corporal punishment will turn your children into criminals.

[eweissenbach]

Originally Posted by Golfingnut;81***3

Corporal punishment will turn your children into criminals.

That is a bit strong Lou. If that was the case, virtually every one of us raised before the 60s or 70s would have become criminals. I think there are better ways to discipline, but mild corporal punishment was not generally harmful, unless taken to extremes.

[Topspinmo]

IMO majority or large part of America kids are spoiled little brats, most never worked day in their life and wouldn't know what to do without their electronics' gadgets . IS that their fault IMO no lack of thing to do and parents maybe?

Course my kids and grandbabies don't fit into that. They're little Angel's.
Now with that out of the way I wonder why I see so many misbehaved children these days?

With the threat of felony charges you really can't spank (hands only course no stick or ruler like teachers use to use in school in my day let alone the big paddle the principle had ) or you take chance of loosing you child in todays society.

IMO it's generation thing loosing family value's which IMO started late 60's and slowly gotten worse for the majority with no dad's or even mommy around (due to working) this is what you get. Street corner or School raised Kids or mainly play ground raised kids.

IMO we could learn a lot from the Chinese when it comes to child care/manner's (course I sure they have their problems also?, But I rarely seen it) and throw the Dr. Spock book away and start over??

There's big rumor that the author of dr. spock book didn't even have kid??? Please somebody tell me this isn't true?

Too much of any kind of punishment becomes useless IMO. I seen both sides too much spanking and too much time out's with worse results. What's the correct answer? I think when you misbehave when you was small either you recognized it was wrong or you didn't.

If you didn't IMO you turned into little bullies or tantrum drama queens which leads to bigger misbehavior? Once you get there now what? I just glad My child was not little monster and usually the threat of punishment 99% time took care of the problem. Course some will say threats would be mental punishment?? But wouldn't time out fit into that category??

IMO at the end of the day really hard Question/answers which ever side of the river you on?

[Bonnevie]

I think the hardest thing to do and where a lot of parents fail, is not following thru on the punishment they enact. My neighbors would "ground" their kids or take away the computer, but then if it conflicted with something the parents wanted to do, they would suspend it or find some other excuse of not following thru. Both kids smoked weed, the boy snuck in my house and store money...was huffing inhalants. The hardest thing is to say "no" and stick to it.

[Topspinmo]

Originally Posted by Bonnevie

I think the hardest thing to do and where a lot of parents fail, is not following thru on the punishment they enact. My neighbors would "ground" their kids or take away the computer, but then if it conflicted with something the parents wanted to do, they would suspend it or find some other excuse of not following thru. Both kids smoked weed, the boy snuck in my house and store money...was huffing inhalants. The hardest thing is to say "no" and stick to it.

I think you are right

[dillywho]

Originally Posted by Rc Moser

IMO majority or large part of America kids are spoiled little brats, most never worked day in their life and wouldn't know what to do without their electronics' gadgets . IS that their fault IMO no lack of thing to do and parents maybe?

Course my kids and grandbabies don't fit into that. They're little Angel's.
Now with that out of the way I wonder why I see so many misbehaved children these days?

With the threat of felony charges you really can't spank (hands only course no stick or ruler like teachers use to use in school in my day let alone the big paddle the principle had ) or you take chance of loosing you child in todays society.

IMO it's generation thing loosing family value's which IMO started late 60's and slowly gotten worse for the majority with no dad's or even mommy around (due to working) this is what you get. Street corner or School raised Kids or mainly play ground raised kids.

IMO we could learn a lot from the Chinese when it comes to child care/manner's (course I sure they have their problems also?, But I rarely seen it) and throw the Dr. Spock book away and start over??

There's big rumor that the author of dr. spock book didn't even have kid??? Please somebody tell me this isn't true?

Too much of any kind of punishment becomes useless IMO. I seen both sides too much spanking and too much time out's with worse results. What's the correct answer? I think when you misbehave when you was small either you recognized it was wrong or you didn't.

If you didn't IMO you turned into little bullies or tantrum drama queens which leads to bigger misbehavior? Once you get there now what? I just glad My child was not little monster and usually the threat of punishment 99% time took care of the problem. Course some will say threats would be mental punishment?? But wouldn't time out fit into that category??

IMO at the end of the day really hard Question/answers which ever side of the river you on?

Dr. Spock's son committed suicide. So much for the Spock methodology.

[dillywho]

Originally Posted by Bonnevie

I think the hardest thing to do and where a lot of parents fail, is not following thru on the punishment they enact. My neighbors would "ground" their kids or take away the computer, but then if it conflicted with something the parents wanted to do, they would suspend it or find some other excuse of not following thru. Both kids smoked weed, the boy snuck in my house and store money...was huffing inhalants. The hardest thing is to say "no" and stick to it.

You are exactly right. One of my youngest son's friends was trying to get him to do something one day that he knew better than to do and told him, "Aw, Shannon, your mother's not going to do anything." My son replied, "You don't know my mother and I'm not gonna try her". My kids knew exactly where they stood with me.

The first time my oldest son, Donnie, came in all upset because he had received a speeding ticket and wanted me to get him a lawyer to fight it, we had the following discussion:

Me: How fast were you going?

Him: 68 the cop said.

Me: What was the speed limit?

Him: 55, but I was late.

Me: Too bad. Go pay your ticket and leave earlier next time or just be late. I will ALWAYS back you up when you are right, but not when you are in the wrong. Pay your ticket...end of discussion, big boy.

[GatorFan]

Never laid a hand on my daughter. Let her express herself and always told her if she told me the truth she would not get in trouble. I also gave her the message that the choices she made in life were choices she would have to live with. Never had one bit of trouble with her. She has always been very honest and talked to me about most everything. Even to this day she calls me everyday just to say hello and that she loves me. She also is very successful and has a great life.

It is very hard for me to bite my tongue when I see parents treat their children with such disrespect. You can not expect respect if you do not give respect.

[CFrance]

Originally Posted by dillywho

Dr. Spock's son committed suicide. So much for the Spock methodology.

That is not true. snopes.com: Dr. Spock Son Suicide

[Golfingnut]

Originally Posted by eweissenbach

That is a bit strong Lou. If that was the case, virtually every one of us raised before the 60s or 70s would have become criminals. I think there are better ways to discipline, but mild corporal punishment was not generally harmful, unless taken to extremes.

I will say it this way.

Corporal punishment is more likely to turn your children into criminals than if you would use other nonviolent methods. I also think corporal punishment of children is the tool of a person to lazy to use a more sensible form of persuasion.

[senior citizen]

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