[tpop1]

I have been a member of this board for 2 years now and have gained valuable insights on many subjects; insights based on input from you, the contributors. I’ve experienced great restaurants, golf cart service, plumbers, etc. by taking your recommendations.

Recently I have been feeling that contributors’ inputs are increasingly being minimized based on other poster s’ “world views.”

I highly doubt that a person would put information on this board about treatment in a restaurant, or how they feel about the church they attend, just for sport.

A person’s perceptions are very real to them despite what anyone else feels about their experiences at a location.

In fact I have seen the opinions of three posters, with essentially the same experience at one of the local restaurants, be marginalized by several posters because they did not experience it themselves and because they like the establishment.

I find it funny that some establishments (does Too Jays come to mind?) rarely get bad reviews here. Must be something to it?

I will continue to take your views into consideration when dining, purchasing, praying; any time I spend my time or money. You have yet to lead me wrong.
_

[K9-Lovers]

and also think it is wonderful of those posters who go out of their way to investigate and discover more about a given situation, and share their newfound knowledge with us.

[Walt.]

Exactly right. When a particular restaurant shows up here (over and over again) for "less than terrific" food or service we get the usual folks jumping in with the line "they're really trying" or "I can't imagine that it actually happened." Somehow the poster is a liar or maybe just confused. Perhaps he's just not as sophisticated as the responders.

When someone posted about their car being vandalized it was implied (if not said outright) that the posting was probably not true... just the work of some trouble maker. Make sense to you?

There is a landscaper that's been beaten up on this sight. I guess all the customers got together and, for no reason whatsoever, decided to attack him. Hmmm... maybe they weren't customers... just competitiors!!

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by Walt.

Exactly right. When a particular restaurant shows up here (over and over again) for "less than terrific" food or service we get the usual folks jumping in with the line "they're really trying" or "I can't imagine that it actually happened." Somehow the poster is a liar or maybe just confused. Perhaps he's just not as sophisticated as the responders.

When someone posted about their car being vandalized it was implied (if not said outright) that the posting was probably not true... just the work of some trouble maker. Make sense to you?

There is a landscaper that's been beaten up on this sight. I guess all the customers got together and, for no reason whatsoever, decided to attack him. Hmmm... maybe they weren't customers... just competitiors!!

I understand what you are saying and I well may be guilty of doing just that, i.e. not taking some posters seriously.

I feel that I react in that way when a person who is posting is very negative in her/his post and is not clear about the situation and appears to be really angry. My immediate response is..wait a minute, WHAT happened? How did it happen, and did it happen?

I have said that I think there is an ulterior motive for some negative posts. I really do believe that it must be difficult for other developers around The Villages to sell houses and it is possible they would like to take this place "down" a bit. I also think that some individuals who post once or twice with a very negative content may be "trolls" or people who just kind of enjoy "stirring things up". It has happened before and the administrators have banned them.

But I well could be insensitive and if it is so, I am sorry and will try to listen more with my heart.

[redwitch]

I don't think it has been deliberate attempts to marginalize -- more of it can't be true because I LOVE that place/person. It really is hard to believe that someone has had a bad experience when you have had nothing but good experiences at the same place. So, I do understand those who expressed doubt.

As to the doubts on the vandalism, there is a reason for it -- there have been posters who would post once about something negative and never post again. After some checking, it would was found out these posters were lying or exaggerating the incident. That makes it hard when a newbie posts about a negative experience. We can't help but wonder if it really occurred or is simply an attempt to make TV appear in a negative light.

Also, there are some who truly believe this is a paradise and find it difficult to believe that anything bad can happen here. They simply don't want their bubble burst.

Personally, I take most of what I see on the internet, hear on television or read in a newspaper with a large grain of salt. Whether we like it or not, everyone has some sort of an agenda, whether benign or malignant. I try to get the facts from several sources. So, if one person complains about a restaurant or a contractor, I'll consider the source (do I know that person, do I respect their opinion) and I'll consider my own personal experiences. However, if more than one makes similar complaints in a venue I basically trust, then I'll probably try to steer clear of that person or business.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by redwitch

I don't think it has been deliberate attempts to marginalize -- more of it can't be true because I LOVE that place/person. It really is hard to believe that someone has had a bad experience when you have had nothing but good experiences at the same place. So, I do understand those who expressed doubt.

As to the doubts on the vandalism, there is a reason for it -- there have been posters who would post once about something negative and never post again. After some checking, it would was found out these posters were lying or exaggerating the incident. That makes it hard when a newbie posts about a negative experience. We can't help but wonder if it really occurred or is simply an attempt to make TV appear in a negative light.

Also, there are some who truly believe this is a paradise and find it difficult to believe that anything bad can happen here. They simply don't want their bubble burst.

Personally, I take most of what I see on the internet, hear on television or read in a newspaper with a large grain of salt. Whether we like it or not, everyone has some sort of an agenda, whether benign or malignant. I try to get the facts from several sources. So, if one person complains about a restaurant or a contractor, I'll consider the source (do I know that person, do I respect their opinion) and I'll consider my own personal experiences. However, if more than one makes similar complaints in a venue I basically trust, then I'll probably try to steer clear of that person or business.

Well said Red. I agree. I was trying to say that but you are much more articulate.

[SALYBOW]

As a hospital chaplain I have come to realize that when people express their feelings, they are just that...feelings. Feelings are neither good or bad... they just are. When I hear someone express a negative view I realize it is their perception of a person, place, or situation. I can choose whether or not to make it mine, but would never do so without trying t out myself.
When I look at things this way I realize that a person should not be judged on a one time experience or comment. I would rather try to discover a trend in their thought. I have probably been guilty of being somewhat negative when I have been going through some rough times. When my 38 yo SIL was diagnosed with bladder cancer I really felt down. Those two kids don't need this kind of thing. Luckily, I have been able to place that situation at My Lord's feet. He is far better equipped to handle the situation than I am. I hope that if I expressed that sadness here, I will be forgiven, or at least forgotten. LOL
What I am trying to say, and possibly badly, it that we need to respect everyone's opinion even when we disagree with it. This freedom of self expression has been won for us by many hero's lives.

[eweissenbach]

It seems to me that internet chat boards in general bring out the combativeness in people. Often people say things in response to a post that they would never say face to face. Just check out the politics board if you want to see the extreme example of contenscious debate. If I disagree with someone I try to always frame my response in a way that shows respect for their viewpoint, but asking them to consider a different view. Unfortunately a fair number of people respond by putting down the other person and their viewpoint, which does not further understanding and creates enemies. This seems to be the way of our political discourse in this country, making compromise impossible as both sides insult, mock, and even slander the other as a matter of course. It is not only distasteful, but ultimately very harmful. JMHO. Ed

[beartrack]

Perception is one thing and factual is another, how do you decide between the two. For example, a person may be a retired CPA and is answering a question about tax's. Perception or factual? A retired doctor gives you some advice on a simple medical issue, perception or factual? In my own case, I have spent my entire adult life in the bar & restaurant business but, when I answer a question pertaining to that business, I get bombarded with perception from folks that have never been in the business. Consequently, I do not ever respond to restaurant threads (anymore). I will give you just one example, then you decide. Someone on this thread said "I never read any complaints about Toojays" I personally go to Toojays all the time but, I will never order my personal favorite, pastrami on rye. In New York where I was born. Toojays would last about a week before going out of business. Why you ask? Sandwiches in NY are piled high wth your chosen meat sliced thin and I mean piled on. In Toojays, they slice the meat then roll it up so that it gives the appearance of being piled high. The front of the sandwich looks good but, the back is empty. BOO, bad sandwich. Everything else that I have eaten at Toojays is good and service is good. I expect to be attacked by all of the Toojay fans out there but, please remember, I go there all the time. My point being, are my comments, Perception or fact? I am prepared to duck!!!!!!

[tpop1]

Originally Posted by beartrack

My point being, are my comments, Perception or fact? I am prepared to duck!!!!!!

Hi Bear,

No one who has eaten at a NY Deli like Carnaige, Stage, or others like them could take you to task for your commments - Less meat than a NY Deli and you know enough not to order it!!!

You were fair and factual.

My original post would refer to someone offended by your commments , denegrating your stance; inferring that you don't know what you are talking about, that it couldn't be so, and that you have some agenda!
It could happen here.
_

[zcaveman]

Originally Posted by tpop1

I have been a member of this board for 2 years now and have gained valuable insights on many subjects; insights based on input from you, the contributors. I’ve experienced great restaurants, golf cart service, plumbers, etc. by taking your recommendations.

Recently I have been feeling that contributors’ inputs are increasingly being minimized based on other poster s’ “world views.”

I highly doubt that a person would put information on this board about treatment in a restaurant, or how they feel about the church they attend, just for sport.

A person’s perceptions are very real to them despite what anyone else feels about their experiences at a location.

In fact I have seen the opinions of three posters, with essentially the same experience at one of the local restaurants, be marginalized by several posters because they did not experience it themselves and because they like the establishment.

I find it funny that some establishments (does Too Jays come to mind?) rarely get bad reviews here. Must be something to it?

I will continue to take your views into consideration when dining, purchasing, praying; any time I spend my time or money. You have yet to lead me wrong.
_

I agree with tpop1. Mst of the other posts on this thread (so far) go to show that you are trying to disprove what he just said.

You are defending the opposite of what he is trying to say and all he is trying to say is that people are posting a real situation and should be taken seriously. There is no need to defend the establishment, etc if you have NOT experienced the problem yourself. In some cases I have also experienced the same problem and have been rebuffed also. Makes no sense.

[LuvItHere]

I agree with the original post 100%.

Flatterers are suck-ups, to get admiration for themselves for being "so nice" ..... so "nice" that they ridicule and mock people bringing to light bad service or a dangerous situation--like the woman showering and seeing a man's hand pulling back the curtain in the sport pool shower/dressing rooms.

[golfnut]

I am totally with ya on this one Z, helllllo.....gn

[CaliforniaGirl]

At any given time, the number of guests visiting this board greatly exceeds the number of registered members. All of those "lurkers" are potential members who could be moved to join to share an experience (good or bad), make a recommendation, etc...but the general consensus here is that a first-time poster making any negative comment must have some ulterior motive. It was recently suggested that perhaps members' first 10 posts should be approved by admin. I personally find that idea offensive. Everyone posting on this board was a first-time poster at some point, and every first-time poster is entitled to express his/her opinion as long as the post follows forum guidelines. We all have a brain and hopefully the ability to separate the wheat from the chaff.
As for myself, I have been here for 7 years and did not know this forum existed until very recently. I have a small business, and a client of mine called me and told me that she recommended my services to a poster on this forum. She had been a long-time lurker and was moved to join to reply to the person requesting a service. I checked out this board and decided to join. A few days later admin posted a thread about people using the forum for free advertising by basically referring themselves, etc...I called my client and asked her to please not recommend me again, and told her why - you would have thought I shot her best friend, and she may never post again. I do not advertise here because my business is too small to support banner advertising, and what I do does not fall into any of the categories in the "Products and Services" section. Maybe I'll ask Talk Host to create a category for me
And I agree about TooJay's pastrami - I was with a group of friends at Perkins and we were talking about good pastrami, and I mentioned that I was pastrami-spoiled by the Golden Ox. A gentleman in the booth behind us turned around and said "I love that place! Best pastrami in the world!" The Golden Ox is a little dive joint in a very, very bad section of East Los Angeles, and the man was a retired LA cop. It is indeed a small world.

[Bill-n-Brillo]

CaliforniaGirl - To your point about business people using the forum to refer themselves: I don't really get the sense that scenario occurs too much IMHO. If I knew of some business that had done right by me, I wouldn't hesitate to refer a forum member to them if they were looking for that type of input. The admins shouldn't have a problem with that. I do, however, remember seeing a thread about members getting PMs directly from business people where the purpose of the PM was blatant advertising on their part. That would get under the admins' collective skin!

Bill